Moving on up.
Believe that!
Ladies, we got picture.
What about the alarm?
Miles, what do you think I'm doing?
Just cool out. We like to run a loose crew around here.
You're the boss, Miles.
It's like that?
It's like that.
I'm gonna go check on Tulley.
Tulley, we cool down there?
Yeah, we're cool, man.
Good.
Cool is good.
Are you smoking?
No. Negative.
You're lying!
I smell the menthol up here, man!
What would your mama do if she knew you were smoking?
Cut it out, man!
Stay alert.
You ready over here?
Damn it! Eddie, why you gotta do that every time?
It's good luck.
It's bad luck if I land in it. Believe that.
Don't fall in that shit.
See you, Deke.
Good luck, guys.
How's the weather up there?
Snowing.
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.
You got a guard 20 feet from you.
Ten feet. He's closing in fast.
Around the corner.
He turned around.
Forget it. He's gone.
So much for the easy part. Kit.
- Shit! - Bam!
I hate it when you do that.
Eddie, check this out.
This is a Brigger 3300. Toughest safe in the world.
- What do you do? - Drill the lock.
No, you gotta check to see if it's open.
It's open!
What?
No, I'm messing with you. They would never do that.
Glasses.
- I'll see you back up top. - Right.
Open sesame.
Come on, Eddie.
Got the rock?
Miles is right behind me.
What the hell you doing?
Seventeen million four ways?
I'm too greedy for that.
No, just come on, man!
Shit!
Come here, gorgeous.
Got the rock. Time to roll.
Hurry! There's lots...
...of activity here. Let's go!
Shit!
Freeze!
Clear!
Let's go!
- Stay down! Don't move! - Let me see your hands!
- Where's Eddie? - He went over already.
- You have the rock? - What?
You got the rock?
- What you doing? - Give me the rock!
You ain't got to do this!
We're supposed to split this shit, man! Why you doing this?
Shit!
Miles, you're dead, you piece of shit!
Damn!
Good doggie!
Kibbles 'n Bits!
Easy.
Where's the nearest exit?
Stay where you are!
Turn around!
I'm a carpenter! I was working late!
See? That's the saw! See? I was working!
You're under arrest. You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say can and will be used against you.
If you can't afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you.
Do you understand your rights?
Yeah, I understand them.
Ain't nothing but a free thing, baby!
Free man. Believe that.
One belt, one shoelace...
...one wallet containing $22.
One shoelace?
You know how much them shoes cost? One shoelace?
I came in here with two.
You took my shoelace? Did you take my shoelace, man?
You got two seconds to walk out that door.
Sign out...
...and leave my pen.
I'm signing out.
I got places to go, people to see.
My lady, Janiece.
Ass...
It's like that.
What you gonna do with one shoelace? Let me in on the secret.
Floss your ass?
Gotta go.
Y'all stay up, man. Don't be mad because I gotta go.
Come on, open this fence. Thanks. I'm out of here.
Where them butt-naked hoes at? Do you know?
Let me up out of here.
I'm free! I'm free at last!
Gotta go!
Gotta go, gotta go!
I'm out of here!
Damn!
What happened?
Did you eat the whole time I was in there?
When I left, you was like plickety-cow, plickety-pat.
Now, you're like va-voom!
Wait a minute. That's all right. I can adjust.
It's the love that counts. I can adjust to a plus-size woman.
Just more cushion for the pushin'!
Janiece!
Your sad-ass sack of bones is here.
I apologize. You're her cousin!
Can I buy you some cereal?
It's okay, Shawna.
There you are. Just hot!
Baby, you are...
You look beautiful.
You are beautiful. And that's not two years of prison talking.
Baby, it must've been hard in there for you.
All alone at night in your little cot.
Tell me something, Miles.
Did you think about me?
Think about you all the time.
Think about you right now.
Then you should've thought about that before you robbed people!
I never robbed you!
I'm a rehabilitated man!
Talk to me!
I didn't come see you for two years. Wasn't that a sign?
You couldn't stand to see your man like that.
Man?
You're not my man. You lie. You told me you were a banker.
Bank robber. Yeah, see, sometime I stutter.
But I'm getting that whole speech impediment thing...
You are a very smart man, but the entire time we spent together was one big lie.
Look, Janiece. Listen to me, okay?
I know I lied about some things, but I can change.
I don't think so.
Bye!
Don't do me like this!
Fifth and Grand?
How you doing? Is this really a police station?
Of course.
Hi. I have a delivery for Traffic.
Sign by the "X."
What have we got? Egg roll, orange chicken...
Hot pizza coming through. Hot pizza!
Got to get the officers their pizza.
They got to protect and serve. The police got to eat too!
Let the officers eat, please.
I'm the pizza man here to deliver the pizza. Thank you.
Officers, I got your pizzas!
"Third Floor: Robbery-Homicide. "
Yeah, please be careful. Pizza's very hot.
Don't want nobody to get hurt. Just got here some pizza for you.
Pizza for you. That's how we do it down at the pizza place.
Watch it, watch it, watch it!
Two time, bring it up! Don't drop the pizza!
Pizza delivery for Robbery-Homicide.
Robbery-Homicide?
Why is it I don't see Robbery-Homicide...
...with a pizza delivery in the log-in sheet?
I'll tell you what. Why don't you leave that pizza with me?
No, I'll tell you what. Last time I left a pizza here...
...it magically disappeared.
I mean, it's just like leaving candy around me.
It's not gonna be all right. I'm gonna chomp it up. See?
Two kinds of people get through that door:
People wearing handcuffs. People wearing a badge.
You don't have on either.
Well, I don't have a badge or handcuffs, so...
Officer Carlson.
- We wanna flip that card right over. - Sorry. Just got it.
Excuse me, officer.
The guys in Homicide ordered this pizza about an hour ago.
I don't wanna leave them with Shamu over there.
What do you want me to do?
Take them!
- I'm on duty. I can't do that. - Yes, you can!
Please take that!
Thank you very much!
Break it down.
Two time, left!
One time! Break it down to the ground!
Go here!
Left leg! Bring it around!
Walk!
You hid a diamond in the police station?
I didn't know it was a police station. Can you change the I.D. Or not?
Sure, but won't they be suspicious of a pizza man with a security clearance?
I'm not going back as a pizza man.
What are you going as?
A cop.
A cop?
A new transfer.
That's why I need that I.D. And a new file for detective.
Why a detective?
That's where the rock is.
It's gonna be expensive.
Uncle Lou, I thought we was like family.
Yeah, well, "like family" is not family.
If you were family, you'd want it for free, right?
Well, you ain't changed. I'll see you later.
Get down!
Put some clothes on! Get your butt-naked ass down!
He's naked and he's stinking. Somebody get him some clothes.
He's hiding a gun in his ass!
Get on the ground. Do it now.
Don't I know you?
Freeze!
Cuff him!
Yeah, cuff his ass.
I'm gonna cuff you like that.
I'm the good cop. You act up, I'll turn into the bad one.
Freeze! Get them up!
Spread your legs now.
I'm an officer of the law.
Any sign of Deacon?
Last I heard, he was pulling rip jobs in Carson.
- I warned you about that guy. - That you did.
He'll know you're out.
This is purely cosmetic. It won't check out.
Don't worry. I'll be out of there in an hour, max. Thanks.
Good luck.
Hey there, officer dog.
I'm a detective.
Sorry, sir.
She's never done that.
Must be the pastrami.
Bitch!
Are you going up?
Up. Third floor.
Appreciate it.
What?
The vehicle belonged to your friend, but you don't remember his name?
Do you have a last name?
Damn, these cuffs are tight, man!
Miss Green, could you tell this man to loosen these cuffs?
I can't feel my fingers, man. I'm serious. Please?
- I know it. - Detective.
Not so tight.
Maybe I could loosen them up a bit.
You got a great lawyer there. Top of the line. Here you go.
He's in here!
Jesus!
How y'all doing?
Not again, Carlson!
The guy body-slammed me, sir.
Maybe he likes you.
He did what to you?
Get him out of here! What were you thinking? Man, that's not smart!
Get him out of here.
What the hell happened up there?
Up here?
I caught him trying to escape.
Who the hell are you?
Malone. Just transferred. Right there.
Yeah, check that out. Bam!
- You know Malone? - No.
Nobody told me about it.
Guys...
Sorry, ma'am.
Excuse me.
Let me flush, please.
I didn't know. You might not wanna go in there.
You got some paperwork for me, Malone?
We've been requesting a new detective for 8 months.
Suddenly, you just turn up. I'll never understand the system.
Burglary? Sixteen citations, mayor's commendation.
You worked out of West Covina?
Well, that's what it says right there.
You look familiar, Malone. Have we met before?
You wouldn't happen to be in a bowling league, would you?
That's it. You're a bowler.
I try.
We could use a guy in Burglary.
Right here.
I thought I was gonna be assigned to a desk. Right up in here!
Are you kidding me?
A guy like you? No, you belong on the street.
And also, listen.
Carlson needs a partner with some experience. He just got promoted.
Chief, I just got a call.
Malone's gonna join us. Show him around.
And let Malone do all the handcuffing, okay?
I appreciate that, yeah.
I'll review these.
This is the bullpen here. That's Booking up there.
The holding cells are down that way. You wanna see them?
Seen one, seen them all.
This is my desk here, sir.
Nice desk.
Thanks. Let's see...
Brass is on five.
Robbery-Homicide on three.
Over there, that's the tag and bag.
- Through those doors, that's 10-17. - Roger.
Show him the rest later.
- Come on. - Where?
We got a call. Burglary. It's ours. I'll take this.
Outside?
That's where all the crime is.
I just got here, and that's not a good thing.
I gotta do work in here so that I know what's going on out there.
I might need backup, right?
How long you been in Burglary?
Me? All my life, man, all my life.
I heard the chief say that you got 16 citations. That's incredible! Sixteen!
That's what happens when your Uncle Lou writes your file.
You can ride up front if you want.
I knew that.
You just gotta be real careful for the pedestrians coming out here.
Walking around out here.
Am I clear to the right? Am I clear? Have I got it?
I just made detective.
No kidding.
I worked Traffic for three years. I got pretty good at it.
You don't have to stop for the yellow. You could just drive right through.
Sir, not if you'd seen some of the accidents I've seen. No thanks.
Well, there's your green right there.
Can I ask you a personal question?
Yeah, sure.
How many times did you take the test?
What test?
You know, the test for detective.
That one!
- One time. - Really?
Aced it.
Took it out.
Took me five tries.
I did well on the written part, but my performance reviews weren't so hot.
How many times did it take you to get your driver's license, man?
Please! Wake me up when we get there.
Yes, sir. I'm sorry.
Goodness, man!
It's a nice suit, sir. It's really cool.
Well, I appreciate it.
Yeah, you know? Appreciate it.
Got any music?
Oh, yeah. Sure.
I like to jam.
Just so long as we can hear the dispatcher.
That's good.
- I never heard this station before. - Kind of funky. You like that?
Last night these shelves were loaded with Elites. Now they're gone.
Three dozen gorgeous rims.
They didn't take anything else?
They went for my good stuff. Chrome with gold trim. Five grand worth.
What about the alarm?
What about it? It went off.
But it took you guys two hours to get here.
My wheels are probably in Tijuana by now.
Here's where they came in.
Looks like they broke the glass, opened the handle, crawled in the window.
Exactly.
Shimmied down the shelf or something.
This is a waste of time.
That's not how they got in.
Of course it is.
Cut it out. That's not how they got in.
This is the spot here.
That's how I would've came in.
If I was a thief.
If I was a thief!
Skylight. Just cut the alarm from the inside.
I could take my time.
Why take your time?
Why would I take my time?
It's heavy.
Now, you tell me.
How long would it take to carry 3 dozen of those out and load them in a truck?
- Long time. - It would take a very long time.
But they probably had three or four guys working the damn thing...
Zip! Zip the shit up! Frank, hush.
Because you know better. Come on.
Don't lie to me. I'm the man. I'm the man, Frank.
You're the man.
Your 5000, sorry to tell you, is worth less than two on the street.
Which don't go four ways with much juice once you rent a truck.
And to rent a truck, that requires what?
Credit card...
...driver's license.
Unless, of course...
...you got your own truck.
He's not gonna let us search his truck.
What you mean, "let us"? We the police.
We need a warrant to do that.
We don't even need a key.
Detective, you can't do that. It's unconstitutional.
Look at that. Look at this.
Look.
Solved the crime my first day on the job!
We bad detectives.
There they are!
Filing a false report is a very serious crime.
I'll handle this. Bring your weeble-wobble ass over here.
- You like snacks? - Nothing makes me happier.
You'll be snacking on the bottom of this shoe if this happens again.
Now, you see them ridges?
These ridges will be imprinted on the back of your ass...
...permanently if this happens again.
You understand?
Thoroughly understand you.
Every time you look at your ass there's gonna be a print there.
It's gonna remind you of us.
- And of you lying. - Right.
Don't wanna see those ridges.
Stop eating cold cuts because it's seeping through your pores.
Will do.
I'll put one ridge on your ass.
Let's roll. That's cool. Let's get out of here.
Detective, I know I'm new at this...
...but I thought we were supposed to arrest the bad guys.
Now he owes us one.
So that's how it works.
We let the little fish go, so that we can catch the big fish later.
I got it. I got it.
You mind if I drive? I know a shortcut.
You might wanna buckle up.
Are you in a hurry, sir?
Just testing your car. Balancing out your shit.
When was the last time you got all up on this thing?
I've never gotten all up on anything, sir.
Sometimes you gotta feed some speed to your ride.
Sir! Watch it!
This is the police! Move your busted-ass vehicle!
Move, move, move, move, move!
This is the LAPD.
We'll pop one in your ass.
We got guns and shit.
I could get used to this!
I like!
Used to what?
Driving. See, my last partner did all the driving.
Who was your partner?
I don't wanna talk about it.
Why?
Hey, look, I'm deep, okay? There's just some places I can't talk about.
We're partners. We gotta communicate. This thing's like a marriage.
No, this is nothing like a marriage.
- What is it like? - It's more like a one-night stand.
Wham, bam, thank you, officer.
- It's like that? - It's like that.
We're just gonna fight crime and zip the rest of that shit up.
Are you married?
- Girlfriend? - Not anymore.
What happened?
Work got in the way.
See?
Somebody took out a fire hydrant.
- I'll handle this. - I gotta get back. I got a headache.
We're on duty.
But I need an aspirin. A big one, like a hockey puck.
Gentlemen. Excuse me.
Could you come here for a second?
Relax, sir. Just take it easy for a second.
Morning, officer.
Morning. Where's your aspirins?
Back there by the soda machines.
Appreciate it.
I wanna know how the car hit the fire hydrant.
- Open the register! - Don't shoot!
Come on, man!
Oh, man!
Come on! The safe too!
Come on.
37-King-5. Shots fired. Request help.
418 West Fifth Street.
Detective Malone!
You okay?
Oh, shit!
Get back! Back! Get back!
Freeze!
Put your hands on the pavement!
- Hands on the pavement! - There is no pavement!
Put them on the Oodles of Noodles.
- Put them on the noodles. - Chicken or beef?
Chicken!
Cool.
Cool is good.
Miles?
Tulley?
What are you doing?
What am I doing? What are you doing?
I'm freaking working over here.
I'm coming in!
Put the gun down!
Detective Malone, talk to me!
Go out the back way!
Go! The back way!
Go out the back way!
Detective, talk to me!
Take two steps back!
What the hell? Go!
Hold it!
Hold your fire!
You okay?
Listen, it's a dead end!
No shit!
He's behind those dumpsters. He's freaking out. He's got a gun.
Back up!
Get SWAT up here! Sharpshooters can take him off from the roof.
No sharpshooters.
Why the hell not?
What are you doing here, man?
- Who's he talking to? - I don't know.
He high, man. He's hallucinating. Smoking that shit!
He's high.
Put down the gun and come out!
Hold this. Hold on. I'm going in.
What are you doing?
What are you, crazy?
Miles, what are you doing here?
I just wanna talk to you before somebody gets hurt!
Please put down the gun!
- Son, come on. - Shut up!
It hurts my heart...
...to see a kid that has so much potential.
- You're smarter than that. - I'm coming out!
Listen. All right, now, goddamn it! What are you doing?
You got me out here in this shit.
How many times I told you...
...forget the safe? Go straight for the cash drawer. Get in and get out.
He's in the way. Now I can't even get a shot.
I can't either.
Why are you hitting mom-and-pop stores anyway?
Look, you're a driver, man.
You got skills. You can be out there on the road, man, doing your shit.
I'm desperate! I need some money! And why the freak are we whispering?
Back up, nigger! I saw you!
- What are they talking about? - I don't know.
I'm working on something here, and you're blowing it for me, man!
I'm sorry, man. I'm messing up.
- I'm messing up. - It's all right.
Look, I'm not mad at you.
But you're gonna have to give me the gun and let me arrest you.
Come on, man. Listen. I'll give you 10 grand. You know I'm good for it.
I'm thinking like 50, man.
Tulley, 50? That's pushing it, man! Damn!
Twenty, and you'll spend one night in jail. That's the best I can do.
That's it. Best I can do.
All right, fine. But I'm keeping my gun.
You cannot let me arrest you and keep the gun, man! Come on!
Damn, I just got this, man. This is hard to find.
But you're gonna have to give up the gun. Now, what you wanna do?
You wanna give up the gun or you want them to put about 7 bullets in your ass?
Okay, now give me that gun!
Don't just hand it to me!
I gotta take it from you. They're watching.
This is gonna hurt a little.
This is gonna hurt.
Jesus!
That's incredible!
And remember: You don't know me anymore.
I sure don't.
You didn't used to be so violent.
So he's like, "Carlson, take my jacket. "
He's like, "I got to do this. " We're like, "What are you doing?"
He just goes right down the alley, right up to the guy.
Next thing you know, he's taking the guy's gun.
Dropped the guy with a punch. Just leveled him.
I mean, blink and you would've missed it.
Malone, in my office!
Now!
Not you, Carlson.
I've been looking through your record.
How come I never heard of you?
I was undercover. On the down low.
We need a guy to head Burglary. Is that the real reason you're here?
Yeah, sure.
It's no secret.
Burglary's been a problem division since we lost our lead detective last year.
Now, usually we promote from within the ranks...
...but these guys need someone new.
So if you want the job, you got it.
Excuse me?
You're the new lead detective. Burglary division.
Me?
Technically, there's a 30-day qualifying period before I can make it official...
...but with your record I don't think there'll be any problem.
Well, say something!
Thank you.
Let's party?
What is this? High school?
Listen up. As of now, Detective Malone is Burglary's new acting lead detective.
Get these processed ASAP.
Thank you.
I got some things I gotta do. I'll catch up with you later.
I'll take these.
- You know what to do with these? - Sure.
Great, sir. Sorry.
- Captain Penelli? - I'm busy now.
Oh, man!
Shit!
Damn!
What?
How do you want me to handle the rotation?
I don't understand. What you mean, "rotation"?
The shifts.
I can't figure out everything on the first day, all right?
I notice you guys had a leak here. What's that about?
One of the hot-water pipes burst, flooded all the vents.
They had to flush out the whole system.
This must be the guy everybody's talking about.
Captain Penelli, Detective Malone.
Malone, Penelli.
I hear great things. It's a pleasure to meet you.
Nice to meet you too there, sir!
Very nice to meet you!
Glad to be here.
Gotta go!
He's a strange one.
Place is closed.
I said we're closed. I should've locked up.
Nice to see you, Lou.
I'm looking for Miles.
Well, I haven't seen him.
I got an important message from his mother.
Well, I still haven't seen him.
Quiet.
Damn, you're good.
You are good.
Good morning. Listen up.
Word is that Jean LaFleur is bringing a shipment of heroin through town.
They want him in San Diego.
SDPD's done an excellent job...
...shutting down the harbor and the airports on him.
Detective Malone just transferred. He'll head our Burglary division.
Detective...
...tell us a little about your plans.
Well, I plan to fight crime.
You know, shit like that.
Great, then.
Does anybody have any questions for Malone?
Yeah, I got a question.
What do you think about the P-31?
P-31.
What do you think?
It's a piece of shit.
What I mean is, we've all been having problems with the P-31, right?
I'm just wondering what the new lead detective here plans to do about it.
Well, all right. Well, Diaz, is it? Diaz?
What do you think we should do about it, Diaz?
I think we should scrap it.
How many people think we should scrap the P-31?
There it is.
Scrapped. Why? Because you want it scrapped.
It's out of there. P-31, out of there. No more. Gone.
You want 31 flavors?
Baskin-Robbins is where you wanna be. Be cool.
That's my partner.
Detective.
What is it?
I'd like to work with a P-40.
Yeah, the P-40's good.
P-40 it is!
What's he doing? We just got those things.
He's shaking things up. Maybe that's exactly what we need.
I'm not a cop.
This Tulley asshole wants to talk to you.
He's down in Interrogation.
Right away. I'll talk with him.
Interrogation's this way.
Knew that. Is he running his mouth?
Tulley says he has information about another robbery.
But he'll only talk to the officer who arrested him.
I'll talk to him. Alone.
We'll be watching.
What's going on? You said I'd spend one night in jail.
What do you wanna tell me? What is it?
You said I'd only spend one night in jail.
It's only been one night.
Well, where's my 50 grand?
I said 20 grand.
Well, maybe it's 50 now! Because...
Detectives, I've been assigned to Mr. Tulley.
Well, great. That's him.
Oh, my God! What in the world?
- Help me! - What's going on?
Help!
What is this?
Oh, my God!
Take your hands off my client!
It's no use. He ain't talking!
You have your hand over his mouth!
I think we accomplished enough for one day.
This guy said he has information on another case.
I wanna know, are you jerking our chain or not?
I'm not jerking your chain, fella.
This guy Logan owes me 50 thousand dollars.
If I don't get it soon...
...I'm talking!
Who's Logan? And what do you know about him?
All I can tell you, sir, is that he's gay, gay, gay!
I've had enough of this!
You certainly have. Come with me. You'll be hearing from my office!
- He made me bite my tongue. - Come here.
He hit me here.
Next time use a phone book on him.
And they took my shoelace.
Hearing from your office!
Look how she's all over him.
And then he said I was ugly and I couldn't read good.
Hey, man. What's up?
Some guy's been calling for you.
- Who was it? - Said he's your old partner.
He hopes you found what you're looking for. Your health benefits expire soon.
Whatever the hell that's supposed to mean.
Shit!
Bingo!
What is it with you and the heating ducts, sir?
Cold. You don't feel that?
Very cold.
But I'm busy. What is it you want?
I just tried to pull up your records.
I couldn't find any Malone.
Oh, that's probably because it was spelled...
When I put the name in the list...
The badge number doesn't exist.
Let me talk to you.
- I wanna find out what's going on. - You're gonna find out.
Now, look.
What I'm about to tell you is classified.
You tell anyone, I will bust your ass down to parade detail.
I've been on that detail.
That's permanent horseshit patrol.
This place is a cesspool. But listen.
I'm not from West Covina.
I'm from Internal Affairs.
Oh, man!
All right? This place is a cesspool.
- I can't believe I didn't notice! - It is!
I mean, it doesn't seem like a cesspool.
Believe it, man! There's a lot of dirty shit going on here!
That's why they sent me here.
I'm the supercop. They said, "Go, investigate.
Do what you do. Find another supercop.
Y'all supercop up as a team, and crack down the shit. "
"Crack it down. " That's what I'm here to do.
Are we the only guys that know about it? We're in the shit now!
You are a good cop, Carlson.
But damn it, man, you just dug too deep.
What do you want me to do?
Good thing you asked.
Keep your eyes open. Okay? I need you to be here.
And watch my back. Watch my back.
Got it, sir. I'm out of here.
The other way. Go back.
Shit!
Evidence room.
Shit!
There you are. I just got a call.
413 in progress at the airport.
Go ahead. I'll catch up.
Bullshit! Someone just stole a museum exhibit from a cargo hold.
That's my problem?
You're lead detective.
Get out there now!
The FBI and Customs Service is already on the case.
- Why are you standing here? - They won't let me in.
Feds are all over it.
That's bullshit!
These boxes contained an entire Egyptian temple.
Excuse me, here. Let me see this. Man!
And who are you?
Malone. LAPD.
Agent Gray. FBI.
We'll let you boys in after we're done.
Look at all this stuff.
Look. They nearly destroyed all this stuff and they didn't take none of it.
Look, Officer Malone.
Detective.
You know, you're out of your jurisdiction and you're over your head.
I'm over my head? No, I'm over your head...
...because your head's up your ass.
You're interfering with a federal investigation, officer.
Now, if you and your bunch wanna feel important...
...you can help secure the outer perimeter.
Are we clear?
We clear.
And please...
...tell your men not to touch anything on their way out.
- It's like that? - Yeah, it's like that.
"Head up your ass. " That was great.
I couldn't believe you said that.
He called me "officer. "
I'm lead detective. I have 16 citations.
You think that comes easy?
Come on. The guy's nothing but an FBI asshole.
He thinks we're good for nothing but sucking down doughnuts.
Let them chase their own goddamn temple.
They weren't looking for no temple. They were looking for drugs.
Yes, drugs.
It's the oldest trick in the book.
You smuggle it in...
...boost it before it hits customs, right? Make it look like a heist.
That's how all the big boys do it.
All they have to do is look for a truck with a "B" on it.
What do you mean, "B"?
"Bonded. "
Bonded trucks can get into bonded warehouses.
Let me ask you:
How do you know all this stuff?
Did a little work in bonded warehouses.
All right. So what are we waiting for?
Let's do something, all right? Come on. Call in air support.
Dispatch, this is 37-King-5...
...put me through to South Bay air support.
10-12. I've got a white panel truck...
... B-961, southbound on Wheeler near the Manhattan Beach intersection.
Roger. We're close.
Shit!
Now you're in a hurry?
Sometimes you gotta feed a little speed to your ride. You know what I'm saying?
Here we go.
Check out the driver.
Five-feet-six, greasy hair, messy, very disheveled and...
Are you a hairdresser or a detective, man?
That's a jailhouse tat.
Driver did a stretch somewhere.
10-12. Requesting backup.
LAPD, this is Agent Gray. FBI.
Stand down. I repeat: Stand down.
This is bullshit!
Screw them. Come on! Let's do it!
Come on, you!
Come on, get the door.
Come on!
Drop your weapons!
Put it down.
All right, don't move! Stand still!
Put it down!
Malone! Take him! He's yours!
Don't you run from me! Don't you run!
Let's see those hands, butterball.
Come here!
You wanna make me run?
Come back here!
Bring your ass here!
Come here!
It's okay. Don't worry. I'm a cop.
All right?
Damn!
Don't you know better than to run from the police?
I do.
You got me tired. I don't like to get tired. When I get tired...
...I got ass to whoop.
That's what I'm about to do. Get your ass up!
Bingo.
That's the shit.
We showed them. We showed them, and that's what I wanted to do, you know?
- Put this into evidence. - Exactly.
Evidence. I'll go up with it.
I want you interrogating those men right now.
No. See, I need to go up with this stuff...
...and book it into evidence personally.
Why?
I gotta go through it for clues and shit.
Interrogate the suspects. Find out where they were going.
Then, when you get them to talk, you can go through all the evidence you want.
But, sir...
If I get the clue, it'd make for a better ass-whooping interrogation.
Let's hear it for Detective Malone!
That's it! I want a lawyer. You cops can't do this.
I got news for you. I ain't a cop.
God, he's good.
I checked. West Covina never heard of him.
- So you know. - Know what?
He's Internal Affairs.
What are you talking about? He's not I.A.
He's not?
Hell, no. He's FBI.
But he hates the FBI.
That's to throw you off. You think this is an accident?
He knew about the heroin from the start. FBI planted him here.
Thought he'd get first jump on the burglary. Afraid we'd screw it up.
Pencil-dicks.
You don't get that training at the academy.
No, that's old school, man.
You're crushing my head!
That's federal government training.
Like Navy SEAL stuff.
Let's go give him a hand.
All right! All right! I'll talk! Oh, man!
Look at you.
It was all worth it for you, baby.
What are you doing up there?
I'm just so happy that we're keeping these drugs off the street.
Get over it. They're going right back out again.
Why?
Because the FBI wants to take it to their lab right away.
Roll it out.
Malone, come on!
Let's go.
Come on, Malone.
Detective.
That heroin belongs to Jean LaFleur.
We've been after him for 5 years.
He keeps shifting his operations between the U.S. And Mexico.
We're taking it down to our lab right now.
That's not a good idea.
Why not?
Why don't we just keep it here?
LaFleur doesn't know we have it. We could use it for bait.
You mean a sting?
Exactly. A sting!
LaFleur expects these drugs to be in San Diego in three hours.
What kind of sting operation can you get off the ground before then?
The driver told me one of the guys on the truck was new.
You can replace him with somebody else.
Then catch LaFleur when he goes to pick up the drugs. Bam! Got him!
Let me get this straight.
You're volunteering to escort these drugs into the hands...
...of the most dangerous dealer in the northern hemisphere?
Hell, no!
What do you need to make it work?
- Me? - You're the man for the job!
FBI will have tactical command, but we'll follow your lead.
It's very brave. Let's go. There's not much time.
Way to go, Malone. Way to go.
- I'm just suggesting some shit. - We need more men like you!
All right. Hurry up. Go. Get out of here!
Wait. Hold up. Wait a minute.
You wanted to go. I'm getting you out of here. Go!
You wouldn't still be here unless that diamond was here.
I want my cut!
There ain't nothing to cut. I gotta get the diamond first.
Go get it. I'll wait.
I'm trying to. First, I gotta run a sting on a drug dealer.
You're a goddamn liar!
Would I make this shit up? Get out of here!
- I'll see you at Lou's tomorrow. - I wanna talk about this!
I don't know what you're doing...
...but it ain't gonna work!
And let me get my gun back!
Look. Maybe this isn't a good idea, you know?
- This is a great idea. It'll work. - Brilliant.
- LaFleur's looking for this. - We know what we're doing, detective.
Oh, I'm a detective now.
Give us a level, please.
All right, detective.
The objective is to have these men see you as if you were one of them:
A member of the criminal underworld. It's important your speech...
...and your behavior are congruent with their expectation of a fellow criminal.
I get it. Sort of "walk the walk. "
That's right.
You have to look, act...
...and even think like a criminal.
Change your speech patterns too.
Criminals like to use slang terminology and profanity and so forth...
...especially with regard to police and authority figures.
You mean like, "Shut the hell up, you dickless FBl... "
- That's right. - "You stupid ass. "
- That'll do. - "You tight... "
Enough!
All right, listen up.
LaFleur's a killer.
If he senses anything amiss, Malone is gonna be in one hell of a tight spot.
If anything happens to me, forget everything I ever told you.
You mean about Internal Affairs?
No, Carlson. I mean about everything.
Detective, saddle up.
Good luck.
Carlson, remember. Forget it!
Time to go.
Detective.
If my client gets a scratch on him while he's in your custody...
...I'll see your badge is revoked and you're thrown in jail. Okay?
You can't touch me.
He'll be fine, counselor. Malone, let's get this show on the road.
Drive. Buckle up.
Give me video.
Let's get one thing straight.
This is my side here and that's your side there.
Stay on your side and I'm gonna stay on mine.
Gentlemen.
Keep the chatter to a minimum.
You don't like the show, change the channel.
And keep this channel clear.
Who is this guy?
That's Malone.
I can't drive if you do that.
Drive!
We're coming up on our exit.
All units, this is Gray. Fall back and keep your distance.
We're approaching the site.
LAPD, take the south side. We'll take the north.
They're headed into warehouse 3.
Focus in.
Closer.
This is it.
- You sure? - Yeah. Warehouse 3.
All right, Benny, sit tight and keep your mouth shut.
Thanks for the tip.
What's Malone doing?
They're coming in behind you.
Get ready. Here he comes.
That's what I'm talking about!
- That's the shit. - You're right!
All 500 kilos!
What are you talking about? Let's get out! I want my cut!
- You still got it? - We still have a signal.
It's just distorted.
Can you hear him?
We can't get out of here, okay? They got cops everywhere.
So? You're one of them.
I'm a drug dealer now.
Man, listen to me. You're a jewel thief.
I'm a drug dealer now!
Why you selling this when you got that diamond?
Just like old times.
I don't believe that shit!
Is this a reunion?
Look what we got here. Give it up.
Isn't that beautiful? Say bye.
Welcome to the party.
Son of a bitch!
We've lost him.
I'll enjoy doing you more than I did Eddie.
Shut up!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
- Know anything about this? - I don't know shit!
I'm gonna throw up.
What the hell?
All units, stand by.
What's going on?
I don't know!
I never know what's going on!
Take it down!
Here! Bring it in!
Out of the truck. Out of the truck!
Benny, what's going on?
It took longer than I thought.
- What happened to your face? - Nothing.
Not a big deal.
Who hired these two guys?
I did. You told me to get guys.
You didn't introduce me. How you doing?
Pete. Nice to meet you. Heard a lot about you.
And who might you be?
Don't mess with him. That's a stone-cold killer.
You don't want to mess with him. He's stone-cold.
That boy is bad. I seen him rip somebody's guts out through their ass...
...and their eyes fell out.
Do the move you do!
The gut-and-eyes move.
That's where they went splat. Just dropped them.
I'm bad.
I'll rip your lips off and kiss my ass with them shits.
I seen him do it.
I do that. That's how I get down.
I'll rip your tongue out and lick my balls with them.
Shut up.
Check him out.
Francois, you search him.
- We're moving in. - No, wait.
This must be a part of his plan.
What plan? He's unarmed and outnumbered.
Trust me. You should see Malone's résumé.
This is like a walk in the park for him.
I must tell you, Pete.
You look the part...
...you certainly talk the talk...
...but you still stink like a cop.
Damn it! I knew he would catch us, man.
Shut up! That's bullshit.
Come on, man. Just talk to him. We might get out of here!
See? He's lying!
If I was a cop, would I have busted his shit? That's bleeding!
Lock him in the car.
Get him out of here.
If I was a cop...
Shut up!
My nose bleeding!
Damn!
You better tell us the truth.
He's a cop.
He hijacked the truck. This is a setup.
If I was a cop, FBls would be in here right now, man...
...taking everybody to jail!
I think...
...I have an idea.
You wanna prove you aren't a cop?
You say he's lying.
Damn right.
Shoot him.
No problem.
You son of a bitch!
I meant, kill him.
You didn't say that. You just said, "Shoot him. "
You wanna prove you aren't a cop?
Kill him.
There ain't no coming back for him.
That's it. We're moving in. All units, move in.
Let's go!
Shit!
Give me the diamond or I'll pop one in your ass!
You had your chance.
Freeze! LAPD!
Show me your hands!
Nice shot.
Get out of the car! Turn around!
Shit!
All units, this is Agent Gray, FBI.
We have no authority to pursue the suspect beyond our border.
Do not cross into Mexico!
Pursuit of suspect heading southbound. We have an undercover officer onboard.
I repeat: We have a friendly onboard. Over!
Roger that!
Hold on!
Shit!
Look out!
Get him! I'm glad to see y'all!
What you waiting for? Go!
We can't, Malone. We have no jurisdiction.
Damn that! Damn the jurisdiction! Go! Now!
We cannot cross into Mexico.
- You can't? - No.
- You can't? - No!
Watch me.
Believe that!
Move your ass!
Damn it! One bullet.
Come on, Miles!
Shit!
- You're under arrest. - What are you doing?
I'm arresting you before they get here.
I'll blow your head off before they get here.
The way I see it is you got 30 seconds...
...before they make a piñata out of you.
What are they talking about?
Malone is an expert negotiator.
He's an expert, sir.
You got two choices.
You can wind up somebody's bitch...
...or somebody's señorita.
Make up your mind. Your choice.
I got three choices. Maybe I just tell them who you are.
You'll shut your mouth. Maybe I'll cut you in on the diamond.
Shithead, I got the goddamn diamond.
Let me get that. I'm your only way out!
Now, give me the gun.
You don't wanna go to jail in Mexico.
Nobody wanna go to jail in Mexico. They put burritos in your ass.
Shut up!
Come on, Deke. Give me the gun. Come on!
They think I'm a cop! They think I'm a cop, man!
I can help you, okay?
You don't wanna die here. Now give that up.
If you screw me, I swear to God, I'll come back for you.
I'll come back for you!
Give me the gun!
There you go. Let me get that from you.
Come on. Let it go.
There you go.
This is gonna hurt a bit.
Holy Christ!
That's for Eddie.
You son of a bitch!
Come back here!
You son of a bitch!
Miles, you die!
You all right?
I needed a vacation anyway, right?
The FBI needs to talk to you, Detective Malone.
Peterson, regional director, FBI. We need to talk.
Wait a minute. Slow down.
No, lieutenant, I will not slow down.
Is this man one of yours...
...or not?
You bet your ass he is.
Well, I'm gonna find out what happened here...
...even if it means putting your entire department under federal review.
Nice work.
My office spent an hour talking to West Covina and the U.S. Attorney's Office...
...trying to find out just who it is you're working for.
Now we know it's not the Bureau.
It's time that you gave us an explanation.
I'm a federale.
A federale?
Look across that border. What do you see?
That is the Democratic Republic of Mexico.
You're Mexican?
That's right. On my mother's father's side.
I can see it.
Glacias. Thank you.
Gentlemen, I shouldn't be telling y'all this.
I could lose my federale- hood.
Your what?
My federale- hood!
Look, I had to throw you guys off, okay?
I was doing it for my country.
The red...
...the white...
...and the green.
If you'll excuse me, I have to cross this border...
...and school some of my compadres, you know...
...on things we like to talk about. So y'all stay up. Be cool.
What's happening? Hook a brother up with a taco!
A burrito!
I can't believe so much bad shit can happen on such a beautiful day.
Yeah, what?
I think your Spanish is a little rusty.
You just told those men you got a big cat in your pants.
That's a Latin thing. Macho. You wouldn't understand.
No, I think I do understand...
...Logan.
What?
How'd you know it was me?
I started thinking if I was Logan...
...and had my diamond hidden in a police building, what would I do?
So I thought like a crook.
Is that right?
I don't believe this.
He's a major felon.
This is one hell of a bust, Carlson.
It's a hell of a bust for us.
It's just too bad we can't make it.
Say what?
You heard the FBI. They're extremely strict...
...about pursuing suspects across international borders.
And you're just out of our jurisdiction.
You're...?
Exactly, because I'm across the...
If I'm across the border and you're over there, there's no way you...
I love this jurisdiction shit!
I guess this is the last time I'm gonna see you boys.
But maybe we'll catch you later.
Is it like that?
Yeah. It's like that.
Right there. Jurisdiction.
Thanks.
Viva Las Mexico...
...and I'm out!