What are you gonna do this weekend?
- I don't know. What are you doing? - It's none of your business.
Did you finish that thing for your Lit class?
No. It's due in like two weeks or something.
Oh, sweet Jesus in the morning.
Again with these people?
He's burnin' in hell!
Because, if what the framers of our constitution mean...
What, Travis? Fifteen minutes?
If you prick me, do I not bleed?
Where you been?
I was dropping my grandma off at the airport...
and on the way back the Five-Pointers blocked up Lennox Hill.
Oh, so Abin Cooper's after you too now?
Yeah, and I ain't even gay.
Nah, you're not gay. You're just curious.
If anybody would know, it would be Jarod.
What?
All right, all right, all right.
So every once in a while we add amendments to the Constitution...
to expand, or more importantly, define, the parameters of our rights.
Like the First Amendment...
which Abin Cooper practiced this morning on Lennox, making Travis late.
Those people are such assholes.
Okay. I'm gonna let that ride because this is a passionate issue...
and because, yes, they are assholes.
Wait. Who's Abin Cooper?
He's that creepy church guy...
that's always saying how God's all pissed off at everybody.
Yeah, him and his family are the ones...
that are always holding up signs outside of funerals and stuff.
This was they were protesting the funeral...
of the gay kid who got killed two weeks ago.
Yeah. Jacob Harlow.
He went here. I didn't teach him, but he went here.
It was all over the news, right?
Jessie, I am both happy and sad...
that you don't know who Abin Cooper is...
but, I mean, come on.
Abin Cooper and the Five Points Trinity Church...
they're like right in our own backyard.
Come on, Mrs. Vasquez, Cooper's Dell is like 30 minutes away.
Yeah. Too close.
Abin Cooper holds our entire state up for ridicule.
All right? Ultraconservatives avoid this guy.
Did you know last year the head of the largest neo-Nazi faction in this country...
issued a statement distancing his politics...
from Cooper's and Five Points'?
Even the Nazis think this guy is "nuckin' futs."
All right, let's just hope that the Cooper clan sticks with the First Amendment...
- Why? - And stays away from the Second Amendment.
- What is the Second Amendment? - We get guns.
What is this, man?
It's like Craigslist for people who want to get fucked.
I thought Craigslist was Craigslist for people who want to get fucked.
What kinda dirty shit you lookin' at, boy?
Fuck, faggot!
Touch my dick again and see what happens.
- Such an animal. - They're all the same, man.
- You can't see any faces. - Oh, shit. You showin' him?
Dude, get your fuckin' flappers outta here.
Yeah, look, it doesn't matter. You can see the tits.
You can see the fuckin' pussy, man. Fuck the faces.
How we know we wanna fuck the face unless we can see what they look like?
- Right, thank you. - You fuckin' bag their head, man. All right?
Look, these bitches wanna fuck.
Even if they do wanna fuck, they're all in New York and LA.
Lots more in LA Look...
New York. LA.
- Road trip. - LA.
- LA... - I get the point, all right, but look.
This one's a little closer to home.
Holy shit! Cooper's Dell?
- Let me see. - No fuckin' way!
We're gettin' laid, boys.
How do we know she's gonna fuck us, or even one of us?
I've been talking back and forth with one for two weeks now.
She says she's interested.
Fuckin'...
I just got a little hard.
I don't wanna fuckin' fuck some chick that he just stuck his dick in.
- Look, look... - His greasy-assed fuckin' dick.
It's not greasy.
There ain't gonna be no sloppy seconds, boy, okay?
She wants to fuck all three of us at the same time.
- Jesus Christ. - I call the ass.
You're not gettin' the fuckin' ass.
What if this turns out to be one of them Catch a Predator deals?
Who we preyin' on?
We're the fuckin' minors here. She's the one who says she's 38.
Jesus. It's gonna be like fucking my mom.
I ain't sure it ain't your mom, motherfucker.
- Fuck you. - I don't think I should go, man.
I'm having some doubts over here.
Oh, you're going.
You don't think the three of us balling this woman in the same room...
is a little faggoty?
Jesus Christ, man. Don't be so fuckin' middle-class.
I'm gonna take the car out, all right?
No, no, no. Hey, we're gonna be on TV in a minute. Watch.
This was the scene this morning outside the funeral of Jacob Harlow...
the 19-year-old whose body was found last week...
in a Dumpster behind a well-known gay bar on Slattery Drive...
bound head-to-toe in plastic wrap.
Harlow is the latest victim in a rash of hate crimes...
that have rocked the city this year.
Pastor Abin Cooper and the members Of his Five Points Trinity Church...
staged their 432nd funeral demonstration since 2001.
- This is Catherine Carlyle... - Oh, oh, oh! There we are.
There we are.
- I'm sleeping with a TV star tonight. - Yeah, you are.
How'd you know we were gonna be on there?
Barbara called me. She saw it on the 5:00 news.
So you gonna tell your friends we're famous?
- Probably not. - Smart ass.
Where you off to tonight?
I don't know. Just gonna drive around with Jarod and Billy-Ray.
Probably go see a movie or something.
Fill up the tank before you bring it back.
- Can I get some money for gas? - No.
Later.
So how are we gonna do this?
How do you mean?
Talkin' about how are you gonna get under us.
- What are you talking about? - Me and the lady.
You fuckin'...
This is what happens when fuckin' parents block porn sites, man.
They make socially backwards kids.
How about you just pull over and let me out.
Come on, man. You're being... Oh, fuck!
- You hit it. - Fuck.
You fuckin' hit it.
Why the fuck are we gettin' out?
It's so fuckin' dark out no one could see us if they were looking.
Holy shit! Look at your fuckin' car.
Your fuckin' car!
- Are you kidding me? - Holy shit, man.
Dude, that's, like, a lot of... damage.
That sucks, man.
Who the fuck parks their car on the side of the road like that?
You think there's somebody in there?
I don't know, man. Nobody's here.
Why the fuck did you stop?
Oh, fuck. You got 'em real good.
- Holy fuck! - Fuck!
- Get in the car! Get in the car!
They ain't following us.
Why in the fuck was that guy on the side of the road?
Who cares, man? Let's just keep fuckin' going.
- My car's fucked up, man! - Well, guess what.
Your car's gonna be fucked up when you get home too.
So why don't we just keep going?
We're in Cooper's Dell already.
We'll hate ourselves tomorrow if we don't do this.
- I'm not gonna hate myself. - I'm gonna hate not getting that pussy...
so let's not take this little fender-bender as a bad omen, boys.
Let's fucking do this!
Lasso me some pussy!
She lives in a trailer?
You live in a trailer, motherfucker.
I was just askin'. Damn.
You Jarod?
This here is Travis, and that's Billy-Ray.
I bet you boys wanna get up to the devil's business, don't you?
Well, devil's right in here.
You look lovely.
How 'bout a beer, boys?
Hey, Pete. Can you believe it? I got sideswiped tonight.
- You get 'em? - No.
I was parked and they kept movin'.
Why were you parked?
Oh, I was makin' a reservation for Helen, tomorrow night for our 19th.
I'm thinking about taking Darla someplace special...
for our fifth next month.
Someplace overseas, you know?
Like maybe Italy.
Soon as I win enough off these doggies.
Well, win enough to do this damn body work on my car, would ya?
Dumb-ass kids.
How you know they was kids?
I don't know. They was in some kind of Mom-mobile.
Suppose that's mighty keen detecting skills there, Sheriff.
Yeah, well...
I'm gonna need you to go out there and find 'em.
You kiddin' me? I'm off the clock 10 minutes now.
The only reason I'm still here is 'cause you're so damn late.
Jesus Christ. Just go out and find the damn car, will ya?
It's a blue Volvo station wagon.
Geez.
This is nice.
You boys finished your beers yet?
- I'm workin' on it. - Almost. Almost.
Takes me a few beers to work up to the sex.
So get drinkin', 'cause I ain't drinkin' alone.
And I don't let no man in me unless he's got at least two beers in him.
Thank you, ma'am.
Makes sense.
This is nice.
Will you close your fuckin' legs?
It's like a shag.
So how's about you head back into the bedroom...
start strippin' down so we can get this thing started.
Yes, ma'am.
Almost don't even fit in here.
Get them beers drunk.
This bitch wants my dick, don't she?
She is a lot better looking.
Them tits ain't nothin' to write home about.
Those tits are...
Fuck!
What the fuck?
Fuckin' roofies.
Hello?
Guys?
Is that you, Travis? Billy-Ray?
On a hill far away
All right, guys, come on. Seriously, let me outta here.
Can you just let me outta here, please?
The emblem of suffering...
Guys, this isn't fuckin' funny, all right? Will you let me outta here, please!
What the fuck is going on?
Let me the fuck outta here, please, all right?
This isn't funny anymore.
This isn't fuckin' funny anymore. This isn't funny anymore, man.
Come on, let me the fuck out!
I swear to God, I'm gonna fuckin' kill you!
Let me out!
If you guys don't let me the fuck outta here, I'm gonna kill you!
I will cherish
The old rugged cross
Will you find somebody to...
Can somebody please let me outta here? Please?
- Lucas, sit down. - Fuckin' bitch.
Hey, you fuckin' bitch!
Let me the fuck outta here, you fuckin' bitch!
The old rugged cross
Fuck!
And exchange it someday
For a crown
Well, how about that?
That was lovely.
Just lovely.
Y'all give that Mormon Tabernacle Choir a run for their money.
You know what this is?
That's a printout of what we done today.
That's an article that appears in tomorrow's Post.
You know what that's called?
National coverage.
- Sure was. - Indeed, it was.
Abigail...
TiVo'd the segment on the 5:00 news.
Y'all can watch it later if you want to...
and see yourselves on the TV.
Yeah, tell you what we gonna do next week.
We gonna paint the garage.
I know how you love that, but we gonna paint.
Someone, please! Come on, please!
I need big, strong volunteers. How about you?
How about you? You big and strong?
RJ?
Show me how Popeye do.
Popeye!
Yeah, oh, wow! Don't hurt me, Popeye.
Oh, Popeye, don't hurt me.
Will somebody please let me the fuck outta here!
Caleb, come on, now. That's a bit much. Now, come on, come on.
No! Fuck! Fuck!
- Welcome, family. - Good evenin'.
- Good evenin', Granddaddy. - Good evenin', Grandpa.
Good evening.
But what's so good about it?
Psalms 117, verse 24.
"This is the day which the Lord hath made.
We will rejoice and be glad in it."
Glad in it.
"Oh, woe is me if I preach not the gospels."
Corinthians 9:16.
Amen, Grandpa.
Oh, well, I think I'm gonna preach that holy word.
- Preach it, Daddy. - Yes.
We read in Hebrews 11...
By faith... by faith...
Noah, being warned by God of things not seen as yet...
prepared an ark...
for the savin' of his house...
by which he condemned all others.
For there was multitudes upon multitudes of people...
and God drowned them all except Noah and his flock.
Drowned them all. All sinners gone to hell.
Praise his name.
I'm good at climbing. I'm good at climbing.
You talk to some of them maudlin, touchy-feely preachers out there...
peddlin' their soft faith...
they gonna tell you what you wanna hear.
They ain't gonna tell you what you need to know.
They can't. Can't tell you the truth.
Why, it might be politically incorrect.
But they'll tell you...
this nation and the world is goin' to hell.
They won't tell you why. Can't tell you why.
They'll tell you...
"God loves you.
God loves everybody."
Does a God that drowned the entire world, exception of Noah and his flock...
sound like a God that loves you?
No.
That sound like a God that forgives your sins?
- No! - No, sir.
Your carnal desires?
That's not God's love.
That's a God that abhors the wicked.
He abhors those that ignore his righteous teaching...
and forsake his covenant...
and scoff at his acts.
God doesn't love you...
unless you fear him.
We talk about a fear we have of certain snakes.
Well, that'd be a righteous fear.
We talkin' about a fear we have of takin' a cookie...
Grandma's cookie jar...
'fraid of being caught?
I don't believe so.
Talkin' about the fear of God. I fear God.
You better believe I fear God.
But my fear is born out of respect...
- Oh, fuck. - Admiration...
devotion...
sacrifice...
adoration...
and knowledge of the scripture...
that I preach.
Give us some knowledge, Daddy. Give us some knowledge.
But I preach knowledge, and I preach to this...
and I preach, and I preach...
Oh, Lord, Lord, Lord.
I preach like my daddy before me, and his daddy before him.
My granddaddy built this church goin' on a hundred years ago.
He used to minister up there...
at the 12th St. Baptist up there in the city...
till he couldn't stomach what he called the deviltry anymore.
So he abandoned that modern-day Gomorrah and settled Cooper's Dell...
June, 1917.
But if he thought people were depraved back then...
I mean, his head'd nearly burst...
if he saw how wicked this country's become.
I hate the wickedness of America...
and all the sin-worshippers who populate it.
"Do I not hate them, O Lord, that hate thee?"
Says in Psalms 138...
"Am I not grieved by those that rise up against thee?"
I hate them with a perfect hatred.
"I count them mine enemies."
Twenty-one, 22.
And who's the greatest enemy of God, Cheyenne?
- Satan. - Satan.
- That's right, baby. - Satan.
Yes, ma'am.
And who's Satan's instrument on earth, Fiona May?
The homosexuals.
That's right, baby. The homosexuals.
The homosexuals have run amok in this nation over 30 years now.
Let's see what it's brought us.
Rampant fornication...
adultery...
abortion...
flagrant sexuality...
in every corner of media... movies, TV, et cetera.
Schools, malls, books...
clothes, toys, music...
Everywhere.
Everywhere!
You can't turn on the TV without seeing some jackass wavin' his privates.
That's because the moral spine of this country has been weakened...
by permissive attitudes...
and an unabashed tolerance for homosexuals.
Godlessness.
The casual acceptance of the gay...
has hastened our demise as a species.
Fact. Why? Because they do not procreate.
They do not procreate.
Now, they solicit. Yeah, boy.
They recruit.
Yeah, boy.
But they do not procreate.
Is there anyone...
anyone... who can look at the news...
and deny these are our end times?
Outside our fence lays a world at waste.
They's famine, such as in Africa...
pestilence, such as the gay AIDS.
Monsoons, typhoons, hurricanes and the ensuing floods, such as New Orleans...
New Orleans is number one sin city.
Thailand... Thailand!
Thailand...
where pederasts travel thousands of miles...
spend untold amounts of money...
to sodomize a child.
A baby.
Thousands upon thousands dead in that tsunami.
I never saw the hand of God so clearly in all my born days.
And the Lord's bore witness to this apostasy.
Apostasy... The leaving of faith, the denying of religion...
denying of morality.
He's done with it.
The end is nigh.
- The end is nigh. - Yes, it is.
Cheyenne, bunny rabbit...
do you mind taking the children out now for the lesson...
'cause it's gonna get grown up in here.
You ready?
Come on, babies. Grandpa loves you.
Come on.
Gimme your hand there. Come on.
Come here. Come on, sweetie.
When you get finished today in school...
I want you to tell me all about it, will ya?
Will you tell me about it later?
I wish you'd talk to me sometime.
Would y'all like to see who we have to thank...
for the extinction of the human race?
It.
Y'all know about that Worldwide Web.
Yeah, that's the devil's playground.
We harnessed the devils' technology...
went out like sheep amongst wolves...
into them homosexually oriented chat rooms...
and we promised them boys what they wanted to hear.
Just like an insect...
just like moths to a flame, like flies to horseshit.
Insects. Insects...
that are easily trapped in that snare of God...
on that there Web.
And we gonna deal with 'em the way God taught us to deal with 'em...
the way we dealt with little Jacob Harlow...
who burns in hell as we speak.
Now...
there's a commandment talks against killin', isn't it?
There's a commandment speaks against killin'.
God's talking about your fellow man.
He's not talking about this... insect.
I mean, you don't mourn the death of a germ when it's been cured.
And a homosexual...
won't stop sinnin' of its own volition...
and it's up to the righteous to curb the spread of its disease.
"If a man also lie with mankind..."
as he lies with a woman...
they both have committed an abomination...
"and they shall surely be put to death."
- That is the scripture. - No. No!
That is scripture.
Well, the wrath of God...
is revealed from heaven...
against all ungodliness.
No! Please, help!
Help!
Now tape him up good, boys. Now you watch that gay saliva.
If it gets on ya, it can turn ya.
Don't get it near his orifices, now.
- Shut up! - Send the sinner straight to hell.
Come on, baby. Send the sinner straight to hell.
Shut your mouth!
Send him off wrapped like a package.
Come on, Caleb.
Burn in hell, cocksucker.
No!
Caleb, head hole.
Let us out of here! We didn't do anything!
Let us the fuck out of here!
Oh, man!
Let us out! Let us out of here, please!
All right. Get that other one.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, God. I ain't gay! Please!
Don't! No! No!
No, look, I ain't even gay!
Please, no! No!
Please! I ain't even gay!
I ain't even gay. I ain't even gay!
Please!
Stop. I ain't even gay! Please!
Let me go! Please!
- Jarod! - Travis! Billy-Ray!
What the fuck are you doing? God!
- Take it easy, kid. - I ain't even gay! I ain't even gay!
You might be worse.
Came to these woods to share a woman with other men in the same bed.
Will somebody please fuckin' help me!
Fornicatin' ways, they caused the destruction of both Sodom and Gomorrah.
I don't wanna die!
You already did, sinner.
You destroyed your spirit...
in a waste of shame.
Hey, Billy-Ray.
Fuck.
Hey, Billy-Ray.
They gonna do us like they did that guy.
Not if we can get outta here first, man.
- They gonna kill us! - Listen. Listen to me.
I think a bone snapped out of this dead guy's skin when they dropped him...
because I feel something stabbing my leg.
What the fuck, man? What the fuck?
I think I can fuckin' tear through this paper...
if you can just fuckin' lean back a little bit.
Just work with me here a little bit.
Just tell me what I gotta do.
Lean back a little bit so I can lean forward. Just work with me.
Oh, no. No.
Really, no. Fuckin' lean into me, man.
Do you wanna fuckin' die? Do you wanna fuckin' die?
Then fuckin' listen to me and we'll go home, all right?
Stop being a fuckin' baby and let's fucking get outta here, man.
Just lean back a little bit.
All right?
Just relax and lean back just a little bit so I can lean forward.
If I can get the bone on the thing...
Just can't see straight.
Hurry, Trav.
It's only tape, man.
I just want my mom. I really want my mom.
Oh, you can't do it.
Electronic gate. It's got one of them magnetic locks on it.
- That's why I couldn't... - Yeah.
I'm sorry to disturb you, Pastor.
That's all right.
You're a man of the law. What can I do for you, Officer?
I'm following up on a report of a traffic accident.
Station wagon sideswiped a car out on Route 9.
Oh, my Lord. Anybody hurt?
No, sir. There was no one in the car at the time...
but I see you got a wagon over there with some damage...
that matches the description.
Fuck!
Oh, fuck. I'm free. I'm free.
I'm free.
- I tell 'em and I tell 'em and I tell 'em. - Sir?
That's my granddaughters'.
Once in a while they go into town, you know, get some milk, fetch a paper.
Whatever. I believe they're your culprits.
You know, it's not politically correct to say...
but women and cars...
Not a good mix.
- Hurry! Hurry, hurry! - Oh, fuck!
Go.
Go, man! Hurry!
It's too fuckin' tight, Trav.
I can't fuckin' do it. It's too tight.
Billy-Ray! Where are you goin'?
Billy-Ray, don't fuckin' go. Where the fuck are you goin'?
I can't fuckin' do it!
I'm sorry!
Fuck! Fuck!
If I could, I'd like to keep them insurance devils out of it.
You know, rates are high as it is...
and I'm not exactly Mr. Popularity around here.
Well, no, I guess not.
So if you can put me in touch with whoever it is, you know...
that owns the car that they scraped up...
why I can talk to 'em personal.
Maybe get him some financial restitution.
Make up for it, you know.
I mean, if you could.
I mean, there's only cosmetic damage, you know. Nobody was hurt.
I guess that'd be fine. I'll just phone it in to y'all in the morning.
I thank you so much for that. I'm much obliged.
- Hey, you have a good night. - You too.
Oh, fuck!
Pastor, excuse me.
Sorry. I got one last thing.
I remember you went over to the Vatican to protest that dead pope's funeral...
a few years back.
And I guess what I'm saying is...
is Italy nice?
Oh, my God.
- Italy? - Yeah.
I was thinking about taking my wife someplace exotic for our five-year...
and, well, Italy was at the top of the list.
Well, it's full of Italians. There is that.
Full of Italians, huh?
Yeah, I suppose that stands to reason.
- All right, you have a good night. - Thank you.
Oh, fuck.
Let's fuckin' do this!
Motherfucker.
Sheriff, I got shots fired inside of Five Points. Repeat. I have...
Shots fired.
Repeat, shots fired inside of Five Points.
Wait a minute. In Cooper's church?
Immediate backup requested.
- Repeat, immediate backup requested. - I got him, Daddy.
Jesus.
Pete!
Was that a gunshot, Pete?
Pete, you still there?
Pete!
Is this that obese queer, likes to sodomize wetbacks out on Route 9?
Who is this? Where's my deputy?
Yeah, God sees all, Mr. Queer.
God takes pictures too...
unseemly photographs of men on men...
backwards, sweaty, lust-filled carnal knowledge.
That fun for you, Mr. Queer...
have a man in your mouth not a mile from my house of worship?
Now, there was some unpleasantness out here tonight.
You just let us clean it up...
and I won't send any pictures of you to the missus...
or the Courier...
those images of how you like to use that mouth.
And I don't means stuffin' it with Moon Pies and Coca-Cola.
I tell you what.
What about that picture of you wiping the feces of that wetback...
off of your scrotum and genitalia?
I think the missus would like that one.
She'd put it on the mantel at Christmastime...
right between them two stockings.
Yeah, you keep your queerhole shut, Sheriff...
everything gonna be just fine.
What happened in there?
Them kids was cuttin' themselves loose downstairs.
Caleb went to deal with it.
Shootin' 'em up while I'm out there with this law dog.
You want me to move his car on the property?
No.
Take him on across town.
Other side of the tracks, dump him off there.
Them Feds get rather investigative when it comes to killin' one of their own.
Hello?
This is Keenan.
I'm sorry. Who now?
Yes, sir.
That case is under preliminary investigation.
Report was members of the church were seeking semiautomatic firearms...
mid-2004, before AWB expired.
We have unconfirmed reports they got a few.
Well, the intelligence suggests that they were modifying the weapons.
At least that was the testimony of the guy who sold 'em some shotguns.
He said they made inquiries about modifications.
No, sir. Undercover infiltration was unsuccessful.
Can you...
I'm sorry. Sir?
Can I call you back?
Yes, sir. Thank you. It'll just be a few minutes.
Oh, shit.
If you loved me, you'd make me some coffee.
Caleb?
Darlin'?
Oh, no!
No, Caleb!
Come on, baby doll. Come on.
Come on. Come on.
I know. I know, baby. I know.
Timothy 4, baby doll.
Timothy 4.
Timothy 4, baby. Timothy 4.
"I am now ready to be offered."
The time for my departure is at hand.
I have fought a good fight.
I have finished my course.
"I have kept the faith."
He's on the lovin' breast of Jesus, baby.
He's gone to Jesus.
I know, baby. I know. I know.
Come on.
Let me show you something, sweetie.
Let me show you something. Come on.
I want you to see something with me now.
- Lookee here. - What?
Lookee here.
Caleb did not die in vain.
He sent them two devils to hell before they killed him.
Probably saved us all with his last dyin' breath.
You go rot in hell, you filthy, filthy...
Come on. Come on. Come on, baby. Come on.
Come on. We got one upstairs.
Save it for him.
- Save it for him. Am I right? - Oh, Daddy, you're always right.
There's a land
Beyond the river
That they call
The sweet forever
And you only reach that shore
By fate's decree
By and by we'll cross the portal
Where we'll dwell with thee, immortal
When they ring those golden bells
They're a pretty tight-knit group.
Approximately 20, 25 members...
all related by blood or marriage.
Makes it impossible to get any coverts inside.
No, sir.
You're thinking of Fred Phelps and his family up in Kansas.
"God hates fags."
They're irritating, but they're not gun nuts like the Coopers.
They're suers, not doers.
Last April someone at Five Points...
reported an I ED setup on church property.
No injuries sustained and minimal damage done to a tree...
but in an interview with the local media...
Cooper claimed that if a bomb had gone off in a synagogue, a black church...
or a homo-friendly Unitarian coven...
there'd have been an uproar.
No suspects, no arrests.
Local law enforcement chalked it up to townie kids...
having fun at the church's expense.
But it spooked the Coopers into tearing down all the barns on their property...
turning 'em into barricade fences.
Locals call it "the great wall of bullshit."
Yes, sir, after the one in China.
What made 'em persons of interest...
was an interview Cooper gave to the Patriot Times right about then.
He said that "If the law won't protect us...
from the Philistines and sodomites...
"we'll protect ourselves."
You couple that comment with the allegations, and you can see why...
We've had 'em on surveillance off and on.
They're pretty easy to keep track of.
When they're not protesting gay bars or chasing headlines...
they mostly stick to their compound...
hold their daily services.
I know I'm low man on the totem pole...
but are you sure that's wise at this juncture, sir?
Why? Because if you give us a few more days...
I'm sure we can dig up something more substantial than the sheriff's...
That's how you wanna play it.
No, sir, I'm not questioning your call at all, sir.
I'm saying that our history with situations like this hasn't been exactly...
Yes, sir. It's dawn here now...
but we can be fully mobilized and on site in an hour.
I understand.
Fuck!
Tempted and tried
We're oft made to wonder
Why it should be
All the day long
While there are others
Living about us
Never molested
Doing wrong
When death has come
And taken our loved one
It makes our hearts
So weary and drear
Then do we wonder
Why others prosper
Living so wicked
Year after year
Farther along we'll know all about it
Farther along we'll understand why
Cheer up, my brother
Live in the sunshine
We'll understand it all by and by
Come, sweetie. Come. Come.
Farther along
We'll know all about it
Farther along we'll understand why
All by and by
Fuck!
Fast little monkey!
Who fired? Who fired, goddamn it!
Local Agent 3.
Goddamn it!
- What are you... - Who the fuck are you?
Did he fire at us?
- No, he was armed. - Did he open fire at us?
- Son of a bitch had a machine gun! - They got kids in there, asshole!
- Sorry! I'm sorry. - Kids you just turned into hostages!
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - Asshole!
You can't talk to me, you son of a bitch. I am a King's County elected official!
Sit your ass back in your vehicle!
Now!
How much you think a cross like that costs?
You mean in dollars or common sense?
Zing!
We get the spike mic set up?
Well, we were about to, and then Barney Fife happened.
Well...
Let's go old-school. We get any blueprints or whatnot?
- 1922. - It's all county had.
They haven't built an addition to the original structure for the last 50 years. No permits.
They got anything on four legs except horses we gotta look out for?
Isn't this a stable?
No, that's Home Depot.
It was a stud farm. Belonged to the last neighbors the Coopers ever had...
before Abin drove 'em off and bought the land.
That's where they load up with all the lumber so they can build this elegant fucking fence.
Million-dollar views from three directions and then, bam! "Casa de Bat Shit."
Do you know how you get a valley this beautiful all to yourself?
Put a giant fucking cross on your front lawn.
Give me the horn.
This is Special Agent Joseph Keenan of the ATF.
We're here to execute a search warrant on the premises...
on suspicion of violation of the National Firearms Act.
Put down any weapons, come out with your hands up, and you will not be harmed.
Repeat: You will not be harmed.
I think it's the use of the word "repeat" that makes this work every time.
You wanna breach?
No.
Give 'em a minute.
Get a line opened up.
Yeah, that's gonna...
Come on!
Goddamn it!
Get down! Agent, get down!
Right now!
This is Special Agent Keenan, sir.
Cooper's Dell has escalated into a firefight.
Requesting backup.
Get the fuck outta here. Go grab a rifle.
The local sheriff shot and killed an armed assailant.
We C-C'd. They opened fire.
They shot Brooks.
The fucking church people!
They're heavy with AK's and TECs.
I need backup now!
You said this was gonna be a simple in-and-out, sir.
Simple just shit itself.
Media, sir?
The closest TV station's a hundred miles away.
The local paper prints once a week.
Media's not a factor, sir.
Sir, that sounds like...
With all due respect, sir...
maybe we should get the deputy assistant director on this call.
Jesus Christ, there's kids in there, sir!
Just give me another 10 minutes. I can open up a line...
I'm gonna want something in writing to protect myself and my field office.
No, I'm gonna need something more substantial than your word for this.
Either I get a text, or an e-mail, or something official...
I can stand behind or it's no-go.
Get on the ground! Get on the ground now!
Down! Who else is coming out that door, huh?
- It's just me. - Bullshit!
There's kids in there and I wanna get 'em out.
Is that Group 2? Are they sending us more agents?
The situation's been reclassified.
We're to take down this domestic terrorist cell.
- We fired on them first, Joe. - We didn't.
That fat fucking asshole local.
What are the orders?
Hold on a second. We don't even know what the goddamn situation is in there.
Our intel is limited. We've had no fucking communication with them!
"Our investigation of the Five Point Church..."
at Cooper's Dell has uncovered an extremely hostile...
domestic terrorist cell, heavily armed...
"with intentions of bombing a local shopping mall this morning."
You're fucking kidding me!
"When we came with arrest warrants, they opened fire on us..."
killing the assistant special agent in charge...
"leaving us no choice but to take the premises with deadly force."
Jesus Christ.
There are women, and there are kids inside there, man.
"In the resulting firefight, all suspects were killed."
Give 'em the gas, then dynamic entry.
Joe, the suits ain't here.
We're here, Joe. You're here. You can call this.
And then what, Harry?
The FBI takes over, and we look like assholes...
who can't do our jobs... again.
That's what happens the minute a single news van rolls up...
and any one of these people walks out of there alive...
goes on CNN and says we're the bad guys.
Doesn't matter who the fuck's around to tell it to the goddamn news.
That's exactly what we're gonna be... the fucking bad guys!
I got 18 years in.
I'm not telling my wife she's gotta clip coupons till we're dead...
'cause I couldn't follow a simple order, shitty as that order is.
And we're not talking about Gandhi here.
I got a piece of Brooks's skull in my fucking knee.
They're shooting at us with military ordnance.
These ain't a bunch of tweakers in a motel meth lab.
They are big bad eggs.
Get your men ready for a breach.
Sir, I've apprehended one of the suspects.
Unarmed girl, early 20s.
She's says she's the caretaker of the kids in the house.
She says she wants to get the kids out the back without her people knowing.
I think she's legit, sir.
Requesting instructions. Over.
This is a hostile domestic terrorist cell.
Use of deadly force is permitted.
- She's not even armed. Over. - We're not terrorists.
Those are your goddamn orders.
It's the wrong move, Joe.
We're not terrorists. We're not. You can't do this. Please.
- No! We're not terrorists! - Stay back! Stay back!
Please, don't! Please! Oh, God.
You need to take this gun and go back to the house, ma'am.
- Run back to the house. - I don't want it.
Take the gun and head back into the house!
No! You're gonna shoot me!
Take the fucking gun, bitch, and go to the house!
No! Oh, God!
Get in there!
Your daddy's dead.
This is how you respect his memory?
By trying to run out on your family?
No. Mama, they think we're terrorists. They're gonna kill us all.
Good.
Then I'll be in heaven with Caleb.
Isn't that what you want?
To be with your daddy and Jesus?
But, Mama, what about Melanie and the babies?
Me and the babies, Mama.
"How sharper than a serpent's tooth to have a thankless child"!
You get down on your knees and pray for God's forgiveness!
When you get done with that...
you take this, come join your family up front.
Come on, come on.
- Like a good Christian. - Yeah.
They're trying to kill the children, Daddy.
They're trying to kill us all, baby.
I don't wanna live in this world no more.
I wanna go to Jesus.
Well, baby...
if you die...
fighting an army of sodomite-protecting idolaters...
I suspect the good Lord's gonna give you a mansion in his kingdom.
You always know what to say to make me feel better, Daddy.
"Now learn ye the parable of a fig tree."
Yes.
Such as Matthew 24.
"When his branch is yet tender..."
and putteth forth leaves...
"know that summer is nigh."
Well, baby...
looks like summer's about as nigh as it ever gonna get.
Let's go.
I shall see the face of the Lord...
and the Lord's glory shall surely...
You're gonna be quiet, okay?
I don't wanna shoot you, but I will.
Okay?
Okay.
Are Travis and Billy-Ray dead?
So what? You gonna fucking kill me?
If you help me, I won't.
Else I will, I swear.
There's government agents outside...
and they wanna come in here and kill my family.
- Fucking good! - Will you shut up?
I'm trying to save your life.
Those government people... they're gonna kill you too.
They already shot your friend...
and they are gonna kill everyone in this house...
'cause they screwed up what they came here to do.
They're gonna kill us so that we can't tell on 'em.
They don't want any witnesses...
so they're gonna bust in here and shoot all of us...
even my little brothers and my sister and my cousins.
But I can't let the babies get killed.
I've done some bad things.
But if I let them babies get killed...
They don't know what we've been up to in here.
If they did, they could just arrest us.
They could put us on trial...
and then the Zionist media would make heroes out of 'em.
But they are gonna need witnesses...
and that's you.
That's you.
So, if you and me...
we can get out there without gettin' killed...
we can tell 'em what's really goin' on in the chapel.
We do that, and they can't kill the babies.
Sara, baby.
Gimme some sweet tea, will you?
- You want me to save your life? - No, no.
You want me to save your life?
You killed my fucking friends.
It's not me I care about so much as I care about the kids.
My cousin's kid ain't but three years old and my little sis...
My little sister's only eight.
Fuck you.
You think they're gonna believe that you weren't one of us?
They won't even give you the chance to tell 'em before they put one in your head.
'Cause once they get inside here that is exactly what they're gonna do.
You think I give a shit?
Fuck you...
and your stupid family.
My two best friends are fucking dead.
So you know what? Why don't you just go on and kill me too?
You can take that gun and just fucking kill me too.
Just put a bullet in my fucking head...
because that's what I've been waiting for since you tied me to a fucking cross!
Cheyenne!
Please.
Yeah, I bet Billy-Ray said please too.
And they still killed him.
So fuck you.
And if you wanna save your precious fucking babies...
why don't you suck a fucking rescue outta my dick, bitch?
What?
You get away from her, you heathen!
- Get the fuck off me! - You!
Mama, please! Mama, stop it!
- Mama, please! Mama! - Get off!
- You damn heathen! - Get the fuck off me!
What are you trying to do to her?
Trying to get what you came for? What did you do to my girl?
Mama!
What's the matter with you, girl?
What's got over you?
Will you put that gun down? His friends killed your daddy.
If we just confess, they can't kill the babies.
No, don't go anywhere!
There's men outside and they aim to kill us.
So you take everybody up to the attic, okay?
You barricade the door. Okay?
What'd you do?
You do it! You get 'em up there, goddamn it!
- You do it right now! - What did you do, Cheyenne?
- Go! - Mama!
Mommy! Mommy!
Is Mama dead?
Listen.
You go on with Maggie and the other kids upstairs now, okay?
You go up to the attic and you stay there until I come get you.
You don't open that door for nobody else but me, okay? You understand?
Okay, you go on now.
Quick, like a bunny.
Stevie, go!
Go, go, go!
Cocksuckers!
Mordechai!
Top of the crown! Top of the crown!
The Lord is our shepherd.
The Lord is my shepherd.
Team, get ready to flank!
No!
- Freeze! Drop your weapon! - Look, don't shoot. I'm a hostage, okay?
- We need to talk to who's in charge. - Drop the fucking gun!
You don't have to do this.
Get back.
There's enough evidence to put us all away for life.
- Don't move! - Get back, all right?
There's babies in the attic!
No!
You all right?
What the fuck was that?
Yes, sir!
Yes, sir! He's calling us home!
Come on, come on!
Come on, children! Come on!
Everywhere, everywhere
Drop the artillery!
There be no need for that anymore.
Where's that sound coming from?
"And the four angels were loosed..."
which were prepared for an hour and a day...
and a month and a year...
"to slay a third of men."
Hear ye!
His sacred call to arms!
The heavenly trumpets sound his name!
The one true God comes to rapture!
His faithful slay the wicked...
and send this evil world straight to hell!
Enough! Enough, goddamn it! Enough!
Wait a minute! Just wait a minute, everybody.
No more fire and brimstone, preacher!
What does that sound mean?
Well, boy...
there ain't nothing left but fire and brimstone.
Can't you hear?
This is the Lord's day of judgment.
Four trumpet blasts.
The seals have been opened...
and the horsemen dispatched.
Three more blasts...
and he closes the book on this wicked, wicked world!
- Praise His name! - Praise His name!
So come on!
Come on, G-man.
"G" for "Godless."
"G" for "government."
Come on.
Come on. Shoot me.
Shoot me, you bootlicking...
flag-worshipping heathen!
Shoot me! It only hastens my reward in eternity.
Shoot me! Shoot me!
And then what happened?
Special Agent Keenan?
What happened?
I subdued the suspect...
with a head butt.
- A head butt? - Yes, sir. The suspect was standing...
unnaturally close.
And then the trumpet blast sounded three more times, and a fourth and a fifth.
By then it was pretty clear the rapture wasn't going to happen.
So we rounded up the remaining Five Pointers.
On the record, Agent Keenan...
this inquiry commends you for peaceably containing...
a potentially explosive situation.
But, off the record...
you disobeyed a direct order from a superior, Joe.
I did.
And I have no excuse that's gonna mean anything here.
Yeah. Yeah.
Well, it is the finding of this inquiry...
that Special Agent Joseph Keenan be relieved...
as head of Field Office 263.
He's to be placed on one-week leave without pay...
after which time he'll report to the Washington office...
for reassignment in the District.
I'm getting promoted?
You're still gonna kill him.
The United States government doesn't kill people, Agent Keenan...
in or out of custody.
Of course we're gonna kill him, Joe.
We're gonna kill him with kindness.
- You're gonna let him go to trial? - Oh, come on.
- What is this, September 10, 2001? - Patriot Act, bitch.
We can plant him forever, okay? Without a trial.
Never show him the light of day, let alone a TV camera or a microphone.
How...
What do you think we've been doing the last 10 years?
Yeah. It's terrorism, Joe. Okay?
If you kill an American because of a religious belief, you are a terrorist...
and terrorists get locked the fuck up.
If it's all so easy to put these people away for life...
why was I given those orders?
Truth?
- 'Cause fuck people like this. - They're animals.
I mean, don't get me wrong. Jesus saves.
He ain't gonna save Abin Cooper from a fuck-load of prison rape.
Daily shtuppings by Coke-can cocks.
Savor that irony, Joe.
Hey, what was it?
- The trumpet blast. - Pardon?
The trumpet blast... What was it really?
Oh, that.
Some new neighbors...
these eco kids from the university with a compost collective...
they got an acre off the ass end of the Five Point property, other side of the hill.
Abin's been giving 'em a bunch of guff because of the smell of the compost.
- Was it bad? - Gets so you can taste it.
But Abin's been harassing these kids...
sending some of his bigger boys over...
to bitch at first...
maybe break a window or two.
Then I guess they went old-school...
Lots of sugar in gas tanks, burning bags of dog shit.
- College kids. - No, that was Cooper and his church.
The eco kids never so much as called the cops.
They...
They got creative instead.
They thought it'd be funny to take a page out of Revelations...
and get Cooper and his family's hopes up with the trumpets.
So they got this big-ass, rusty old siren...
from a firehouse that just got a new one.
The fire chief said they could have the damn thing as long as they carted it off.
It's big as a Mini Cooper.
So they truck this thing down to their compost collective...
they put it in a barn, they hook it up to an iPod of all things...
and they played these single-note trumpet blasts...
that they pulled off the Internet.
And they had no idea that you were even there.
It was just dumb luck.
Oh, those eco kids with the compost collective?
Turns out it was a cover for a marijuana grow-house.
They're being booked right now.
But considering how they probably saved a bunch more lives...
Yeah, yeah. I'll write a letter.
Yeah.
Hey, Joe.
Really...
why did you shine the direct?
My grandma on my mother's side...
she had these two dogs, pure bloodhounds...
both came up the same litter.
She kept them and gave the rest away to the neighbors.
Both known each other since they had shit in their eyes.
Neither one ever treated any better than the other one.
Gentlest dogs you'd ever care to meet.
So anyway...
Thanksgiving of my ninth year, these two old dogs are trailing me around...
'cause they know the score... I'm a animal lover who never finishes his supper.
So right before I get up from the table...
I toss these two old-timers a turkey leg...
attached to a hunk of cartilage.
And it was like they'd never met.
They went at each other so ferociously...
all tooth and claw and jugular...
They forgot anything they ever had in common...
and scrapped like that discard decided between their standing and dying.
People just do the strangest things when they believe they're entitled.
But they do even stranger things when they just plain believe.
I see the face of Jesus
On my way tonight
He says to me Old sinner, come on in
I see the face of Jesus
In that great white light
And my savior makes me whole again
In his shining eyes...
I see the promise...
of all forgiveness that sets you free.
I see the face of Jesus...
on my way this night.
And my savior's light to comfort me
Shut the fuck up!