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THE MEN WHO STARE AT GOATS (2009)
- Boone? - Yes, General?
I'm going into the next office.
Yes, sir.
Damn it!
My name is Bob Wilton. I'm a journalist.
Part of my job is finding where the story begins.
If you were looking at my story, you might think it began
when I got a job at the Ann Arbor Daily Telegram.
Or you might think it began...
...when I married my college sweetheart Debora.
But you'd be wrong.
Because the real story of my life began a few years back,
when my editor sent me to interview a local guy,
he'd heard on the talk radio show.
The guy claimed to have some kind of psychic powers.
That he could travel with just his mind anywhere he wanted.
He called it "Remote Viewing".
The man's name was Gus Lacey.
What have you seen lately?
Lately, I've been watching the Loch Ness Monster in Scotland.
Thanks, Mom. Uh, and it turns...
I got it. I got it. Mom, I got it.
Thank you.
It turns out...
It's the ghost of a dinosaur.
Okay. Wow.
So, when did this all start for you, Gus?
It started when I was a kid.
Gus told me that back in the eighties,
he was part of a top-secret unit that got their training in the army.
In a program sanctioned by the highest levels of government.
When I asked him what's the purpose of this unit was, he said:
We were Psychic Spies, mainly. That was our initial tasking.
Once they realized what they were sitting on...
We were trained to kill animals.
- What? With... - With our minds. That is correct.
Just by staring at them.
What kind of animals?
One of our unit's stopped the heart of a goat.
Power... they unleashed in us.
Last week I killed my hamster.
You wanna see?
There! Look!
You ever seen a hamster do that before?
- I've never owned a hamster, Gus, so... - Just look! Look!
See the way it's glaring at its wheel.
Yeah, I guess our hamster-owning readers will know what's...
aberrant behavior and what... what's...
- Oh, shit! Shit! He's down! - Yeah, he's down.
At this point I'd been staring at him for about three hours.
Bizarre, right?
What is that?
It didn't die. You said, you killed it?
Yeah, well...
Mom said no.
She said: "Don't show the hamster dying"
"Show the tape where the hamster acts bizarre instead. "
You should have seen the Skipper at work.
- Who's the Skipper? - Lyn Cassady.
For me, after Bill he was the most gifted psych I've ever met.
He was like an occultic force.
I think he runs a dance studio now.
The little man inside me dismissed Lacey as a nut.
You know, the little man.
He's the one who says: "Keep your head down. "
"Stay in your little town, your little job. "
"You're a lucky guy, your wife loves you. "
"You have everything you want. "
"You're not looking for some great adventure. "
"But then, one day...
...when you least expect it,
"The great adventure finds you!"
Ron's sudden death was the catalyst for everything.
Deborah told me later that it had been like a wake-up call for her.
What people used to call: "The memento mori".
Ron's massive coronary had reminded her that
...life was just too short to waste any chance of true happiness.
And his death that helped her to put everything in perspective.
A week after the funeral...
...she left me for my editor.
It seemed like such a tragedy at the time.
We couldn't see beyond our little lives...
...to the great events of history unfolding out there in the world.
I was like a child or a Hobbit, safe in the Shire.
Or a blond farm boy in a distant, desert planet,
...unaware that he was already taking the first steps on the path...
...that would lead him relentlessly towards the heart of a conflict...
...between the forces of Good and Evil.
Americans are a resolute people,
...who have risen to every test of our time.
Adversity has revealed the character of our country,
...to the world.
Had I known where that path would lead,
...had a soft wind from my future brought me the name of Bill Django,
...I might never have gone.
But as it was,
I did what so many men have done throughout history
...when a woman has broken their heart...
I went to war.
- So, have you seen any combat? - Yeah, no it's, uh...
Well, I won't lie to you Debora, it's been pretty damn hairy.
Yeah. We've been watching it on Fox.
Yeah, it's not, uh...
I've seen things that you shouldn't, you know...
Well, I don't even know why you're there.
Well, I think it's important, people get an accurate picture of what's
- What? - Ready to go?
- what's happening, so... - Yeah.
- So, what is that... is that Dave? - Yeah.
He says "Hi. "
Oh, that's, huh...
Is he gonna get his stuff out of here?
That's...
I... I gotta go.
We're moving out, riding up north to cover the fighting there
Wait, Bob, I'm just...
So, what's a useful phrase?
La tutlek. Ana sahaffi.
- La tutlek. Ana sahaffi. - Right.
- What's that mean? - Don't shoot. I'm a reporter.
Okay, that I'll mind.
La tutlek. Ana sahaffi.
I've been waiting for months for permission to cross the border into Iraq.
All that time, I'd seen the embedded war correspondents
...coming back, swapping stories.
They all ignored me.
I had to get into Iraq somehow.
Or I would never again be able to face myself.
My wife, or that one-armed fuckhead Dave.
DeWitt Resources, uh, out of Arkansas.
That's right. We make trash cans.
You're here for the conference, right? Looking for a contract?
- I guess. - What's your pitch?
Well... we're real cheap.
- Bob Wilton. - Skip.
- Do you mind if I...? - No.
- So you're from Arkansas? - No.
- Been here long? - No.
Be careful what you wish for.
I wanted to prove myself.
And for my sins...
Faith taught me a lesson.
Lyn Cassady?
Lyn Cassady.
For me, after Bill he was the most gifted psych I've ever met.
Do you know a Gus Lacey?
Skip?
Hello?
Lyn? I've your hat.
Skip?
- You work for Hooper? - Hooper? No.
I work for the Ann Arbor Daily Telegram.
How do you know about Lacey?
I interviewed him a few months ago for my paper.
Prick.
Follow me.
Let me ask you something.
What color were the chairs in the hotel bar?
You were in there for hours. What color were the chairs?
- Green. - Beige.
How many lights are there in this room?
A Super Soldier wouldn't have to look. He would just know.
- A Super Soldier? - A Jedi Warrior.
He would know where all the lights were.
He could walk through a room and he could tell you...
...how many power outlets there were.
People are walking around with their eyes closed.
At Level One, we were trained to instantly absorb all details.
- What's, uh, what's a Jedi Warrior? - You're looking at one.
- You're a Jedi Warrior? - That's correct.
I don't...
I don't know what that means.
I'm Sergeant First Class Lyn Cassady, Special Forces, retired.
In the eighties, I was trained at Fort Bragg
...under a secret initiative codenamed "Project Jedi. "
The objective of the project was to create Super Soldiers.
Soldiers with super powers.
We were the first generation of the New Earth Army.
- You’ve got super powers? - That's correct.
Wait a minute.
What you saying is that you...
...were a Psychic Spy, like Lacey?
We prefer the term "Remote Viewer. "
- How does that work? - Well, every Jedi had different techniques.
Mel Landau used to visualize packing all his troubles into a little suitcase,
...to clear his mind.
Steve Cuttle recite Bible verse which was...
What about you?
I find... I find drinking helps. And...
And if I'm listening to classic rock...
- Oh, yeah? Like who? - I like Boston. Boston usually works.
What other powers did you practice?
Invisibility.
- Invisibility? - Yeah. That was Level Three.
- Like... actual invisibility? - Well, yeah, that was the goal.
Eventually, we adapted it to just finding a way of not being seen.
But once you understand,
the linkage between observation and reality,
...then you begin to dance with invisibility.
Like camouflage?
No. It's not like camouflage.
We also practiced Phasing.
Crossing from particle to wave, from the physical to energy.
Solid objects seem to pass right through you.
That starts with a breathing exercise.
Then you think black. That's the nothingness. Got it?
I don't know what the...
Can I be honest with you, Lyn?
I don't know what to make of this.
I don't know what to say. This is amazing stuff.
I wanna...
- Could I write a story about this? - Not gonna happen.
Because, I've been looking for a story, Lyn.
And I was gonna write about the re-build contracts...
...but this is much better. This is much better.
- Not gonna happen. - All I'm saying is we could meet tomorrow
I'm shipping out tomorrow.
- What? You're going home? - Going to Iraq.
I've been thinking about partnering with a factory in Al Qaim.
- I could come. - What?
- I could come, maybe... - Look, I don't want to be a story.
- I don't need the attention. - Look, we could change names, stuff...
Look! There's a war over there, Bob! Do you understand that?
War!
Now, I don't have to be looking out for you.
You... you wouldn't have... I'll look after myself.
I've been in some pretty hairy situations.
I'm a journalist, Lyn. You understand?
A journalist. I go where the story is.
What is this?
Nothing. I was just doodling.
What's the matter?
Nothing.
The U.S Army doesn't really have any serious alternative...
...than to be wonderful!
This does not represent the official position...
...of the United States Army at this time.
Bill Django.
Who's Bill Django?
The man who wrote that book.
He said it all started when he fell out of a helicopter in Vietnam.
Move out! Go! Go! Go!
Go! Go!
Move! Move it! Move it!
Fuck you motherfucker!
- Hey, knock it off! - Hold your fire!
Chris! Knock it off!
Will you knock it off?
Jesus!
- Medic! - You'll be alright.
Alright!
What are you waiting for?
What the fuck! Why isn't anyone firing?
Fire!
Every single one of Bill's men fired high.
They instinctively hadn't wanted to shoot another person.
Later Bill would come across a study, which revealed that...
...only 15-20 percent of fresh soldiers shot to kill.
The rest aimed high, didn't fire at all,
...or pretended to be busy doing something else.
I got you, sir. Stay with me, alright?
I got you.
Hang in there.
Their gentleness...
...is their strength.
While recovering in the hospital,
Bill wrote to the Vice Chief of Staff for the Army,
explaining that he wanted to go on a fact-finding mission...
...to explore alternative combat tactics.
The Pentagon agreed to pay his salary and expenses.
What Bill hadn't told the Pentagon
...was that he was really looking for the answer to his vision.
How could his men's gentleness,
...their general lack of interest in killing people,
...be turned into a strength?
How could love and peace help win wars?
Bill knew where to go to find out.
Bill disappeared into the New Age Movement for six years.
Like all Shaman before him, he had traversed the wilderness.
Now he was returning to his people, a changed man.
He brought with him his confidential report
...which he called:
"The New Earth Army manual. "
The New Earth Army is a banner under which the forces of good can gather.
The courage and nobility of the Warrior,
...blended with the spirituality of the Monk.
The Jedi Warrior will follow in the footsteps...
...of the great imagineers of the past:
Jesus Christ, Lao Tse Tung, Walt Disney...
The role of The New Earth Army is to resolve conflict world-wide.
Jedi's will parachute into war zones, utilizing sparkly eyes technique,
...carrying symbolic flowers and animals,
...playing indigenous music and words of peace...
What's... What's the sparkly eyes technique?
Are you ready? Right.
- Got it? - Okay.
- You see it? You got it? - I think, I got it.
As Lyn drove on, I wondered what the hell I was doing.
I wanted to go back. This wasn't me, this was crazy.
And so was Lyn.
But, by then, it was too late. We'd already crossed the border.
What? Does that direct your powers?
What?
The cone. Does it direct your psychic powers or something?
No.
It cooks supper. It's solar.
Utilizing the power of the universe.
No pollution, totally renewable.
That's New Earth Army technology.
Pretty mind blowing, isn't it?
First time I saw that, I was like...
- What the fuck? - Yeah. But, well it's...
But what?
It's just hard to believe the Pentagon paid for this.
There's nothing in here, actually about fighting?
The New Earth Army was tasked with preventing conflict.
We're a force of peace, not war.
Bill understood if you want to change the world,
...you've got to start by changing the armies.
He was the guy that started the research in the non-lethals.
- Non-lethals? - Check this out.
- The Predator. - The Predator?
Lyn, that's just a plastic...
You're mine now.
The predator is 100% biodegradable.
It's friendly to the earth and it can hurt you in a hundred ways.
Fuck!
It has warrior capacities. And it looks a little bit funny.
Jesus! Stop it!
- I bought it online. - Fuck!
The funny thing is, you could see this just lying on the ground...
...and you'd never know that it has such lethality.
Eyeballs.
Goddammit!
Well, I guess it's officially night now.
Piece's a shit.
I've got Crohn's. The steroids help.
Sometimes there's a need, Bob.
Sometimes people are calling out for something,
...they don't even know it themselves.
And then a man like Bill appears out of nowhere,
...because he heard the call.
We are a hollow army, gentlemen.
Vietnam has crushed our soul.
We have to dream a new America.
An America that no longer has an exploitative view of natural resources.
No longer promotes consumption at all costs.
But to achieve this dream...
We must become the first Superpower to develop super powers.
We must create Warrior Monks.
Men and women who can fall in love with everyone,
...sense plant auras, pass through walls,
...stop saying mindless cliches and see into the future.
I want you to join me in this vision.
Be all you can be.
Amongst Bill’s audience that day was a Brigadier General...
...from the Defense Intelligence Agency.
Dean Hopgood.
For some time, the General had been concerned with...
...Soviet research into psychic powers.
According to some stories,
...the Soviets had designed "psychotronic generators. "
Machines capable of bombarding the President with negative energy.
They were also conducting sadistic experiments...
...to see whether animals had psychic powers.
Could they, for instance,
...telepathically detect that their babies were distressed?
Sick bastards.
But when did the Soviets begin this type of research?
Well, sir...
It looks like they found out about our attempt to...
...telepathically communicate with one of our nuclear subs.
The Nautilus, while it was under the Polar cap.
- What attempt? - There was no attempt.
It seems the story was a French hoax.
But the Russians think the story about the story...
...being a French hoax is just a story, sir.
So, they've started psi research...
...because they thought we were doing psi research,
when in fact we weren't doing psi research?
Yes, sir. But now that they're doing psi research,
...we're gonna have to do psi research, sir.
We can't afford to have the Russians leading the field in the paranormal.
Two weeks later, the Army adopted the slogan: "Be all you can be. "
And appointed Bill, Commander of the first New Earth Army battalion.
Lyn?
Lyn!?
Lyn? Lyn!
What?
Nothing, I...
- What? What are you doing? - Salute to the sun.
Alright. We're Oscar Mike.
- That's "On the Move", soldier. - Right.
What are you doing?
Cloud bursting. Keeps me in shape.
- Really? Which one? - That one.
- What? This one? - No. That one. The big one.
Isn't that too far away?
They're all far away.
And it's gone.
Jesus, you had like the whole desert to drive in, Lyn.
I'm sorry about that Bob.
Must have got a little bi-locational there.
Don't worry it though. Somebody will come along soon.
- Heads. - Right.
- Head. - Right.
- What's your record at this? - Two hundred and sixty four. Tails.
Right. Well, that's pretty...
Thank you, Jesus. Good Jesus!
Please! Please! Please!
Can you help us? Can you help?
We drove into a rock.
And I wonder, if you could take us to some...
...like a town or someplace?
Can we... we get in? Thank you.
He says fattore. Fattore, he says.
We can get in. Come on.
Thank you. Thank you for, uh, picking us up.
No car's came by.
How... How far is...
Lyn?
- Is this... - Yeah.
We're gonna die.
We're gonna be killed by Al Qaeda.
- I don't think they're Al Qaeda. - What the hell do you know?
You don't know.
You don't know! You don't know anything!
This is all your fault!
Bob, there's something I have to tell you.
When I said that I was retired from the unit, that was a lie.
I'm on a mission.
DeWitts was just my cover. I've been reactivated.
I couldn't tell you because this is a Black Op.
But I think you have a role to play. I think that's why you're here.
You're an idiot.
You know why I'm here?
I just wanted to get into Iraq so I could prove to my wife...
...that I wasn't a...
And now I'm gonna die.
I'm gonna die. And she's right. I'm such a...
...fuckhead!
Bob, have you ever heard of "Optimum Trajectory"?
What?
"Optimum trajectory. "
Your life is like a river.
That you're aiming for a goal that isn't your destiny,
...you'll always gonna be swimming against the current.
Young Gandhi wants to be a stock-car racer?
It's not gonna happen.
Little Anne Frank wants to be a High School teacher.
Tough titty Anne. That's not your destiny.
But you will go on to move the hearts and minds of millions.
Find out what your destiny is and the river will carry you.
Now, sometimes events in life...
...give an individual clues as to where their destiny lies.
Like those little doodles you just happened to draw?
It's the Ajna chakra, the third eye.
The symbol of the Jedi.
When I saw that you're drawing it, well...
...the Universe gives you clues like that, you don't ignore it.
You're meant to be here with me, Bob.
It's the Jedi in you that sensed it.
Now, I don't think these guys are FRL's or Mahdi Army...
...I think we're talking standard criminals here.
Which means they're gonna try to sell us to another group.
- We can't let that happen. - How are we gonna stop them?
There's three of them! And they've got guns!
We're Jedi, Bob.
We don't fight with guns. We fight with our minds.
What do you mean?
Okay, let's say that we have no choice but to fight with these guys.
We will use visual aesthetics to instill psychically...
...in the enemy a disincentive to attack.
What do you mean?
Okay, you pick one of them out, you lock eyes with him,
...and you go into this monotone and you're gonna go...
"I'm not going to attack you. "
You relax your body and your voice.
And you just rip out one of his eyes.
Or you get a pen and you stab him in the neck,
you create this... a fountain of blood,
I mean a real fountain, get it squirting all over his buddies.
That is a psychic disincentive, right there.
We haven't got a pen.
You're missing the point.
Come here. Stand up. Come.
Let me show you something. Alright.
- Choke me. - I don't want to, Lyn.
Choke me. What am I gonna do?
I don't know... there's too many sharp edges.
It's okay. You can "attack me. "
What's with the quotation fingers?
It's like saying, I'm only capable of ironic attacking or something.
Choke me!
Well, if I choose to choke you, what are you gonna do?
I'm gonna interrupt your thought pattern.
See? I barely moved.
Physics wise, not much going on here.
It's the psychic energy that's important. You okay?
- Sharp edges. - Yeah.
- You felt fear though in the beginning? - Yes.
Would you say that level of fear was abnormal?
I don't know. I was pretty terrified anyway...
...but the fear I felt on the run-up to the choking was, you know, unusual.
You know why?
Because it wasn't you. It was me.
I was inside your head. Fighting with the mind.
- Now, you must always... - Okay. We'll go.
I'm sorry I freaked out back there, Lyn.
You learned a lesson.
"Whatever you fear most has no power over you,
...it's the fear that has the power. "
- Bill? - Oprah.
You really don't work for DeWitts?
Just my cover.
Gus Lacey said you ran a dance studio.
That was just cover too, right?
No. I do run a dance studio.
I love dancing.
And you're out here on a mission, right?
In time, Bob.
Did you mean what you said back there when you said I had some...
...I had some Jedi in me?
We learn to recognize our own kind.
Haven't you always felt like you were different?
Yes. Yes, I have.
That's the way it is for us.
We're the ones who don't fit in, when we were kids.
Have you always had powers?
Kind of.
Foxtrot-117 has launched. Tracking now.
Charlie-Oscar 31.8066667...
Did you crash those computers?
Yes, sir.
Far fucking out!
How would you feel about a transfer, son?
I am Lieutenant Colonel Bill Django.
If you pass this course...
...you'll be a psychic weapon.
An angel of death, our enemies worst nightmare!
Until that time, you’re nothing!
Less than nothing!
- Do you understand? - Sir! Yes, sir!
I'm just kidding about this shit.
Okay, what shall we do now, uh?
Let's dance.
Okay.
Give it everything you've got.
That's it.
- What's your first name, Cassady? - Lyn, sir.
You've gotta free your feet before you can free your mind, Lyn.
I'm not really much of a dancer, sir.
That's not true, is it?
You can dance.
It's just someone told you not to.
Stop acting so fucking queer!
Well, I'm your commanding officer, and I'm ordering you to...
...let the dance out!
Come on, dance! Goddammit!
Let it go!
That's it!
Welcome to the Heroes Journey, Lyn.
Okay everyone, remember, we officially do not exist as a unit.
And remember, no solid food for the first week.
Belgian waffle, ginseng and amphetamines.
Not to be abused, but very fucking handy.
There's the opening. Feel the bend now. You feel it?
That's it! Yeah!
- Think cold! - Bravo Zulu! Yeah!
Mother Earth, my life support system as a soldier,
I must drink your blue water, live inside your read clay,
...and eat your green skin.
Carry my body through space and time.
You're my connection to the Universe and all that comes after.
I'm yours and you are mine. I salute you.
After years of feeling like an oddball...
...Lyn had finally found a home.
At last he was with men who prided themselves on being different.
Left shoulder, that's it.
These were Golden Days for Lyn.
There was something so noble and pure in Bill's vision...
...that the Jedi's felt inspired to be more than soldiers.
In a world torn apart by greed and hate...
they would be a force for good, for peace.
For the first time in his life Lyn felt truly happy.
Then into the garden a serpent did come.
Let me finish this. Let me finish this.
Larry Hooper was a failed Sci-Fi writer from Colorado,
...recruited to the Jedi after General Hopgood...
...met him at a spoon-bending party.
Jesus!
You did this?
You son of a...!
Right from the start...
...he had made himself unpopular with the rest of the unit.
Congratulations, Scotty. I'm sorry it doesn't work out between you two.
Larry made it quite clear that he despised most of the other Jedi's.
Hey, man! How'd you like it if somebody did that to you?
But Lyn... Lyn was different.
Fuck off!
He really hated him.
K-9. Scotty?
It's...
- It's something cylindrical? It's a pencil? - Okay. Larry?
This is Larry's spirit guide, Maud.
I'm looking into the cupboard now.
And I see...
I see...
...a tin mug?
Lyn?
It's a man sitting on a chair.
No, wait a minute. You said A, not K!
- He said A. - Bravo Zulu, Lyn. Outstanding.
After a year's training, Lyn was given his first tasking.
A senior NATO General had been kidnapped by Red Brigade members in Italy.
Bill was unofficially asked if his unit would be able to...
...help find him before it was too late.
We're north of Verona.
It's a small town near a lake.
I can see a cinema.
Across the street from the cinema, there's a shop.
Or it's a... it's a cafe.
He's in the apartment above the cafe.
The name of the town is...
...it's something sweet.
Dolce.
The name of the town is Dolce.
Bill had never encountered anyone with such psychic capabilities.
And from that moment on, Lyn's reputation soared.
Rank, medals... these things mean little to the Jedi.
But growth in spirit, in wisdom, in psychic power,
...these are things that earn our respect.
Native Americans believed that when one received the Eagle feather,
...it was the mark of love, of gratitude...
...and ultimate respect.
Only true human beings may carry the Eagle feather.
- Way to go, Lyn! - That's great!
The word soon got out in the intelligence community...
...that there was a sergeant at Fort Bragg...
...who could find whatever you needed found.
It was as if Lyn could fly anywhere in the world...
...without leaving his room.
As Bill said:
the Force truly was strong with this one.
Lyn?
Don't worry, Bob. We're not gonna get in that truck.
You don't want us.
You don't want us!
Put your weapon away.
Bob, don't move.
Put your weapon away. Bob, don't move.
Bob, stay put! Bob, stop!
La tutlek. Ana sahaffi.
Hold it right there.
Now at the time I thought Lyn was having some kind of fit here.
Later I discovered what he was actually doing...
...was performing the Echmeyer technique.
Ben Echmeyer was a Vietnam vet with sixty-three confirmed kills.
He remains the only non-Korean to achieve the rank of Master in Kwa Ra Do.
It's been said he could have a tug of war with a dozen men...
...and not move an inch.
He was also able to lift bags of sand on hooks...
...hung through his scrotum.
He was one of the Jedi teachers at Fort Bragg.
Sir, what is the practical application of this?
Ben caused quite a stir by advocating his controversial...
..."shock and awe" knife attack method.
The approach was hailed by some knife aficionados as revolutionary
but criticized by others who believed that the leaping and spinning...
...might lead you to accidentally stab yourself.
Lyn Cassady, however, became a firm convert to the style.
Of course, Lyn didn't actually have a knife with him at this particular time.
So, I still think that what he did was kind of...
...reckless.
Throw your hands up!
You idiot.
Shit! Shit! They are not coming!
We're okay. We're okay. They're not coming! We'll be alright.
Oh, shit!
There he is.
Sir, it's okay! We're Americans.
We're here to help you!
Sir!?
Sir, will you...
Oh, crap!
- What happened? What happened? - I think I just ran him over.
Sir?
Are you alright, sir?
Bob, give me a hand.
Come on! Help him up! Get him up here!
Bring him up! Bring him up!
Shit! Shit! Who is that?
Don't move!
Let's see your hands! Now!
Todd Nixon, Army small business office.
Mahmud Daash.
Ask me what business I'm in, Muhammad.
Mahmud. What business are you in, sir?
Right now, I'm in the quality of life business.
We've got over 25 million Iraqis out here who wanna be independent,
...wanna make something for themselves.
More than anything else they wanna buy stuff.
Cell phones, digital cameras, leisure suits... you name it.
If it sells in Boston, we can damn well sell it in Baghdad.
Am I right, Muhammad?
He knows what I'm talking about.
We've got Halliburton, Parsons, Perini... just in the primes.
We're gonna have McDonald's, we're gonna have Starbucks...
No corporate tax. It's gonna be a gold rush.
Oh, and by the way, fuck the French! Did you hear that shit?
Chirac wants to bring French contractors in?
Hey, Phil, what's the most common French expression?
"I give up. "
That's fucking funny. Year zero, guys. Year zero.
Okay, we're in Indian country now. Check your six.
We've got a line of cars at the gas station here.
You guys wanna wait?
Negative. We're too exposed.
We're taking the station. Go in fangs out!
Secure the perimeter!
- Give her the go-juice, Eddy! - I filled her up last time.
- That's bullshit. - He did fill her up last time, Gary.
With all due respect, sir, bull-fucking-shit. I tanked her last time.
- Bullshit! - Every time!
Can we figure out some kind of fucking system!?
Contact! Contact! We've got contact!
Where is the shooter?
And what became known as the Battle of Ramadi,
twelve people were injured. Mostly locals.
Both security companies claimed...
...they had been fired upon first by Iraqis.
Of course, it was later revealed that...
...they had actually fired upon each other.
One down!
My house is not far. We could walk from here.
- Sounds good, Muhammad. - Mahmud.
As we ran for cover, I thought this was what I wanted.
I was on a mission,
...even if I didn't know what kind of mission it was.
But I could hear the little man inside me again.
He was screaming like a little girl.
Krom One! Krom One! This is Freedom Frontier.
We are under attack.
This is fucking fubar!
Muhammad led us to his home...
...which as it turned out had been robbed in his absence.
And also, accidentally shot up in a fire fight.
Neighbors told him that his wife had left,
...they weren't sure where she had gone.
I'm very sorry for running you over, sir.
It was an accident.
And I apologize for that security detachment.
I don't want you to think that all Americans are like that.
I apologize for the kidnappers.
Not your fault, sir.
I mean, we've kidnappers in America and...
There's always... bad apples.
Lyn? Are you awake?
I was just... thinking about Mahmud.
They're just trying to do something with their lives.
Something... lasting, good.
But there's always somebody who wants to smash it up.
What Lyn was really thinking about was Larry Hooper.
And the part he had played in the destruction of the New Earth Army.
But, in fairness, the Jedi's own eccentricities...
...hadn't exactly won them many allies.
For example, there was Tim Kootz,
who, on being asked to ascertain the whereabouts of...
...General Manuel Noriega, had replied,
- Ask Angela Lansbury. - Say again, Tim?
Ask Angela Lansbury.
Excellent. Excellent.
We asked Angela Lansbury.
And?
She said she didn't know where General Noriega was.
Or there was the time Major General Gilling was visiting the base.
And saw Jedi trainee Clifford Hickox...
...practicing the ancient Sun Dance of the Sioux Nation.
The Jedi's survived such minor scandals,
...protected, it was rumored, by President Reagan.
Who was a fan of both the Star Wars films...
...and the paranormal himself.
But then, one summer, a young, likable Lieutenant...
...named Norman Pendleton was recruited to the New Earth Army.
Desperate to compete with Lyn,
Larry had been doing research into the infamous CIA MK-ULTRA experiments
...which he believed could enhance his own psychic powers.
All he needed was a lab rat to try them out on.
To check if they were safe.
It turned out they weren't.
Run! Run!
Bullshit!
Norm?
Norm.
Give me the gun.
Norm’s father, who had turned out...
...was pretty high up in the Pentagon, wanted blood.
Although the Jedi's were pretty sure Larry was responsible,
...nothing could be proved.
And when he was called to testify at the disciplinary hearing,
...Larry made sure to smear Bill with everything he could.
Lieutenant Colonel Django used funds from the project's black budget...
- to procure prostitutes... - That's a lie!
...and to get drugs for himself and his men.
That...
Well, the hooker thing is definitely a lie.
Brigadier General Hopgood resigned and died some years later.
Bill received a dishonorable discharge.
Continue the work, Lyn.
The World needs the Jedi's, now, more than ever.
After Bill left,
Major Holtz of Special Forces took command of the Jedi's.
He didn't think much of Bill's unconventional training techniques...
...and he's about to make some changes.
Nothing was ever the same again.
I really appreciate this, sir.
Jesus! We could have bought a map.
Bedouins have been navigating this desert for centuries...
...without a map.
You can use a wristwatch in conjunction with the sun.
Well?
- Well, what? - Well, use your wristwatch.
I haven't got a wristwatch.
Oh, for the love of...
Here.
What?
- It's digital. - So?
You need a watch with hands.
How am I supposed to know? You're the navigation expert.
You're the one who said you could...
...find a way.
- I'll, if you'd just be quiet... - Turns out you haven't even got a watch!
- I don't need a watch. - How the hell we'll get of here?
I'm using Level Two.
- What is that? - Level Two. Intuition.
We were trained to make correct decisions.
Somebody runs up to you...
...and they say "There's a fork in the road. "
Do we go left or do we go right? And you go...
"We go right!"
- What? Just instant? - Instant. Just like that.
We've been sitting here for half an hour. How's that "instant?"
- Oh, it's this way? - Yeah.
Oh, now you know.
Hang on.
What happened?
- IED. - What?
- Improvised Explosive Device. - Oh, Jesus! Jesus!
You're okay. You're gonna be okay.
I can't believe it.
Great fucking intuition, Lyn.
I can't... put me down. I can walk.
Oh, Jesus!
I think I may be bleeding to death.
You're not bleeding to death. You're in shock.
It's a shock.
It's hot. I'm so hot.
- Aren't you hot? - Bob?
It's really important you keep your mouth closed.
You can lose a lot of water through an open mouth.
If we'd only stayed with the car then...
...we would be alright now.
- Now we've no water, no... - You're gonna be okay.
Would you stop saying that? I've been...
I've been got blown up! I'm in the middle of a desert!
- I'm not gonna be okay. - Bob, you're in shock.
If you panic, your heart's gonna stop.
Is that supposed to calm me down?
Wait a minute.
This is west.
Al Qaim is the other way. We're going the wrong way.
Al Qaim isn't the mission. We're going near Al Qaim.
Where?
- I don't know. - What?
Is that a joke? This is a joke, right?
We've come 600 miles and you don't know where we're going?
If the exact whereabouts of the target was known...
...it wouldn't take a Jedi to find them, would it?
Who gave you the mission, Lyn?
- Bill did it. - What?
Bill... He appeared in my trailer two months ago.
A psychic projection.
- He called out my name. - Oh, Jesus!
Lyn, there is no mission.
We're in the middle of the fucking desert because you heard voices?
There's no one here! There's no one fucking here!
When the dust of Bill's discharge has settled...
...it revealed a surprising victor.
What you've for me, sergeant?
This is a scientific report I've done...
...on possible offensive psi application, sir.
I showed it to Lieutenant Colonel Django, but he didn't seem interested.
No, I bet he wasn't.
We have men who can do this?
I can think of one, sir.
But we don't have the resources.
Well, sir...
...there is the goat lab.
Just 80 yards from Major Holtz's office was an abandoned hospital.
Most of the soldiers who lived and worked in Fort Bragg
...had no idea about the actual function of this building.
Because, although it was abandoned,
...the hospital was not empty.
The goats have been secretly flown in from Central America to avoid customs.
Special forces weren't worried about regular soldiers hearing the goats...
...because they'd been de-bleated.
Goat Lab was originally created as a secret laboratory,
...to provide in-the-field surgical training for Special Forces soldiers.
The goats would get shot in the leg with a bolt gun...
...and then a trainee would have to dress the wound successfully.
Goat lab actually used to be called Dog Lab.
But it turned out most soldiers didn't feel good shooting dogs in the leg.
The army, though, had long felt fine about doing stuff to goats.
Even testing atomic weapons on them.
It's gone, Bob.
What?
I can't find him.
I've lost my powers.
It's a curse.
What curse?
They took this, beautiful thing that we've been building...
...and they destroyed the New Earth Army.
Who destroyed it?
I did.
Hooper and Holtz wanted me to do an experiment.
They wanted me to stop the heart of a goat.
What had the goat ever done to me?
It was completely against the way of the Jedi.
I was just gonna pretend to try...
...so that they can see it wouldn't work and they can forget about it.
Then, as I sat there...
I felt this... pulse
...inside me. I couldn't stop it.
Maybe deep down inside...
...some dark part of me wanted to see if I could do it?
Holy shit!
That was it. I'd used my powers for evil and...
...as if I brought a curse on us all.
It's like that poem where...
...the guy kills the seagull and they make him wear it round his neck.
Every night I'd dream of that goat.
It's mouth opening and closing without making a sound.
The silence of the goats.
I finished my tour and I quit. I walked out.
I never went back.
But before he could leave,
Larry arranged one last parting gift.
What do you...?
It was the Dim Mak.
- The Dim Mak? - The Dim Mak.
The Quivering Palm.
The Death Touch.
It's forbidden in the New Earth Army.
What does the Death Touch do?
It kills you, Bob.
- With one touch. - Jesus!
There's a story that Wong Wifu, the great Chinese martial artist,
...had a fight with a guy and beat him.
Then the guy gave him this light tap.
Wong looked at him and the guy just nodded.
That was it.
He had given him the death touch.
Wong died.
Then and there?
No.
About eighteen years later.
That's the thing about Dim Mak...
...you never know when it's gonna take effect.
In a funny kind of way I admired Lyn then.
He believed in something so much...
...he thought he could really die from it.
That's what I've been looking for all along.
Something to believe in.
Something to give meaning to my life.
So I had fallen for Lyn's crazy stories.
So I'd followed him out into the desert.
Look! Look!
Come on! Come on!
These are friendly competitions held between members of the camp.
When you think this sorta things for kids, you better think again.
Lyn?
Lyn? Where are you going?
Lyn?
Hello, Bill.
Hello, Lyn.
This is Bob.
Hello, Bob.
Hello.
Oh, good.
The gang's all here.
This is primarily a Psyops base.
- Psy for psychic, right? - Psy for psychological.
The irony isn't wasted on me.
Radio broadcasts, leaflets, things like that.
Oh, here's an Iraqi Psyops leaflet they dropped on us.
"American soldier...
...your wives are back at home...
...having sex with Bart Simpson and Bert Reynolds. "
Yeah, didn't exactly done their homework there.
How did you find us, Lyn?
I told you, I remote viewed you.
If this is Psyops base, what are you doing here?
I said it was primarily Psyops.
There are individuals in the current administration...
...who're looking for creative solutions to the war on terror.
They're far more open minded than their predecessors,
...and they've outsourced experimental research to my company.
"Sick?"
It's pronounced psi-ike.
Psychic Systems International Corp. "PSIC".
It turns out certain people had heard about the New Earth Army.
They were very interested in some of the work we were doing back then.
They got a hold on me, I got a hold on Bill.
Bill works for you?
Bill's looking into subliminal messaging.
This is the one we've designed...
...to play to our own troops before going into combat.
Push "play" on that.
There's a subliminal message in this?
This one's called...
"Don't get drunk before firing heavy machine guns. "
We've got all sorts of new ideas and development.
Give them one of our new ideas.
- Air bag mine? - Air bag mine.
Non-lethal.
Catapults the fucker right into the air. Gimme another one.
Blast target with pheromones and then release attack bees.
Excellent. Attack bees. The forces of nature!
- Another. - Project Achilles.
- We mutilate enemy corpses... - We're not doing that anymore! You idiot!
The point is... we've got a budget, we've got supporters.
I'm rebuilding the New Earth Army.
Only this time without all that hippie crap.
- How you're doing there, Bill? - Gonna get some ice-cream.
You get the occasional flash of what he used to be but...
...he's pretty burnt out on the booze.
Still, he's the best. Oh, twizzlers.
- You want one? - No.
God, I love these things.
What? What is it?
It's the Dark Side.
Lyn, what you're gonna do?
It's too late...
- I'm dying, Bob. - No, you're not gonna die.
I don't believe you can be killed by...
- by mail order, Dim Sum, or... - Dim Mak.
Dim Mak. Whatever. You can't just be tapped in the shoulder
It's cancer.
What?
All I know it's the Dim Mak that caused it.
It's cancer.
At least that's what the doctors said.
It's different ways of looking at...
Different names for a reality.
Give that to Bill.
I don't deserve it.
Take it.
It wasn't the Dim Mak that was killing Lyn.
And it wasn't the cancer.
He was dying of a broken heart.
And maybe, the cancer as well.
His mission had failed.
And failure was something I knew too much about.
Bill?
Lyn told me he didn't deserve this eagle feather.
He wanted me to give it back to you.
- It's fake. - What?
Twenty thousand dollar fine for taking an eagle feather.
This one's off a turkey.
You just die the tip black.
Don't tell Lyn.
It isn't real.
None of it was real.
Lyn told me about the curse.
That by killing the goat, he put a curse on all of you.
What's Larry gonna do with these goats?
Do you believe in redemption, Bill?
Sorry. Didn’t mean to wake you.
How did you find it?
I told you, I remote viewed you.
Scotty Mercer told you, didn't he?
Yeah, he did.
We told Scotty we were coming over here,
...asked him if he wanted some work.
I haven't seen Scotty.
That's funny, because he told me he'd run into you and mentioned that
...there might be some jobs going over with.
Isn't that why you came, really, Lyn?
You want back in, don't you?
It can happen.
You've only got to say the word.
This could be the new Golden Age for psi research.
You, me and Bill, back together again.
Like the old days.
You don't have to make a decision now.
Tell me in the morning.
Mother Earth, you're my life support system.
As a soldier I must drink your blue water,
...live inside your red clay and eat your green skin.
Help me to balance myself.
As you hold in balance, the Earth, the sea,
...and the space environments.
Help me to open my heart...
...knowing that the Universe will feed me.
I pray my boots will always kiss your face...
...and my footsteps match your heartbeat.
Carry my body through space and time.
You're my connection to the Universe and all that comes after.
I'm yours and you are mine.
I salute you.
Bill?
Bill! Bill?
Bill? Are you okay?
I just saw Timothy Leary.
Timothy Leary is dead.
I know.
He'd got an idea.
Good evening, gentlemen.
Gonna get some ice-cream.
Don't eat the eggs.
- What? - Don't eat the eggs.
What's going on?
We put LSD in the eggs.
Bill showed me where Larry had some bottles of LSD and...
We put some in the powdered eggs last night.
And in the water.
What?
I put it in the main water tank as well.
But we drank the water.
Yeah.
Right. Hold on.
The weather today is gonna be...
...hot.
I mean, yeah, I'm guessing that.
I really didn't looked at the thing but...
...I'd say it's gonna be fucking hot out here!
Yeah. What else?
I mean, it's a fucking shocker, right? It's gonna be hot again.
It would have been a good idea if we hadn't drunk the fucking water?
Well, that might have aroused suspicion.
But don't worry. Over the years,
I've built up a massive tolerance to all narcotics.
You're going to hit the gates! You're going to hit the gates!
That's cool! You missed it!
In the name of the New Earth Army and loving people everywhere,
...I'm liberating you!
I'm liberating this base!
Come on! Go! Go!
Come on! Move! Move on! Come on!
Put the gun down, Larry.
No!
Wow, I'm really hungry.
- Come on! - Let's go! Come on!
Come with me!
Don't worry about this guards.
Be free!
Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait for me!
Where are you going? What about the mission?
You are the mission, Bob!
Tell them what happened. Tell everybody what happened.
It's your job now.
At the time I was hurt that Lyn hadn't taken me with him.
But now I know,
...it was because he and Bill had already seen what was to come.
Nobody exactly knows what happened.
The official story is that their helicopter must have crashed,
...either because they were hit by an RPG or because...
Well, that's what happens...
...when you fly a helicopter while you're tripping on acid.
All I know is that they've never been seen since.
Like all Shaman, they returned to the sky.
When I got back, I wrote the story up.
Everything.
Lyn had handed a mission on to me and I'd see through it.
I would tell everyone what happened.
I understood now that...
...Debora and I weren’t meant to be together and...
...I was at peace with that.
It wasn't in my destiny to return to the life I had before.
The Universe has other plans for me.
I sent the story to the newspapers and TV stations.
I didn't care what the authorities did to me.
I was ready to go to prison as long as the truth came out.
But they didn't put me in prison.
They did something much worse.
...unusual tool to break the resistance of Iraqi POWs
...and trust me, a lot of parents would agree!
Some prisoners are being forced to listen to Barney...
...the Purple Dinosaur sing the "I Love You song",
...for twenty four straight hours.
And that was it.
That was the only bit of my story that ran anywhere.
And it was a joke.
And if I ever needed proof of how the Dark Side have...
...taken the beautiful dream of what a nation could be...
...and had twisted it, destroyed it.
Well, that was it.
But I won't stop. I won't give up.
Because when I look at what is happening in the world,
I know that now,
more than ever,
...we need to be all that we can be.
Bob?
Now, more than ever,
...we need the Jedi.
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