Thank you. Hi. I'd like to go to the Adelphi Hotel.
- Excuse me. - I'm sorry. This is my cab.
I was here first!
Oh, God.
Taxi!
Let's go across. Come on.
We'll get one down the road. Hurry.
For God's sake, Harold, can we please just get a taxi?
I'm trying to get a...Taxi!
We're going the wrong way!
Put that away. We'll look like tourists.
Hi, honey.
We'll never get a cab. Let's cut over to Seventh.
- Seventh is that way. - I know where we are!
Hey, mister. Give me a dollar.
- Come on. - How about it? One dollar.
Are you deaf? You don't speak English?
Come on! Up here.
Hey, lady...
do the kid a favor. Don't scream.
Hey, all right.
American Express card.
"Don't leave home without it."
Get out of here.
Let's beat it, man. I don't like it up here.
What, are you scared of heights?
I don't know. After what happened to Johnny Gobs...
Look, man, Johnny Gobs got ripped and took a walk off a roof. No big loss.
No, man, that ain't what I heard at all.
I heard that the Bat got him.
The Bat? Give me a break, will you?
Five stories. Straight down. There wasn't no blood in the body.
No shit. It was all over the pavement.
- I'm getting out of here, man. - Shut up, man. Listen to me.
There ain't no Bat.
You shouldn't have turned the gun on that kid.
You want your cut of this money or not? Now shut up! Shut up.
Don't kill me!
Don't kill me! man.
Don't kill me!
I'm not going to kill you. I want you to do me a favor.
I want you to tell all your friends about me.
What are you?
I'm Batman.
Across this nation...
the words "Gotham City" are synonymous with crime.
Our streets are overrun, our public officials are helpless.
As mayor, I promise to root out the source of this corruption...
Boss Carl Grissom.
Now, our new District Attorney, Harvey Dent...
will carry out that promise.
Harvey
Thank you.
Thank you, Mayor Borg. Thank you.
People of Gotham City...
I'm a man of few words.
But those words will count, and so will my actions.
Police Commissioner Gordon has informed me...
that he has targeted those businesses...
suspected of fronting for the syndicate in this city.
Before the week is out...
we are going to knock down their doors...
and shed the light of the law on that nest of vipers.
Together, we can make this city safe for decent people.
Decent people shouldn't live here.
They'd be happier someplace else.
Pretty tough talk about Carl.
Don't worry about it.
If this clown could touch Grissom, I'd have handed him his lungs by now.
If Grissom knew about us...
he might hand you something.
Don't flatter yourself, angel.
He's a tired old man. He can't run this city without me.
And besides...
he doesn't know.
You don't worry about anything, do you, Jack?
You look fine.
I didn't ask.
Yeah. Hanging on.
No. Let me guess.
Giant, menacing, supernatural form. Kind of like a bat.
That's it. What are they seeing up there?
They're drinking Drano.
It's a little weird, Lieutenant.
Thanks for the tip.
Christ. Knox.
Hello, Lt. Eckhardt, I hear we just had us another Bat attack.
That's what, eight sightings now in just under a month?
I hear the Commissioner's even opened a file. True?
Sorry, Knox. These two slipped on a banana peel.
I'm telling you, man, a giant bat!
Keep move.
Don't be writing this stuff in the newspaper, Knox.
It'll ruin your already useless reputation.
Lieutenant, every punk in this town is scared stiff.
Do you know what they say? They say he can't be killed.
They say he drinks blood.
- They say... - I say you're full of shit, Knox.
You can quote me on that.
Is there a 6-foot bat in Gotham City?
And if so, is he on the police payroll?
And if so, what's he pulling down, after taxes?
Brought you a little snack, Eckhardt.
- Why don't you broadcast it? - Shut up and listen.
Harvey Dent has been sniffing around one of our front companies.
That's my territory. If there's a problem, I deal with it.
Your problems are our problems.
I answer to Grissom, not to psychos.
Why, Eckhardt, you ought to think about the future.
You mean when you run the show? You ain't got no future, Jack.
You're an A-1 nut-boy, and Grissom knows it.
Better be sure.
See?
You can make a good decision when you try.
Where you been spending your nights?
I don't care how deeply in debt this festival is, I want a parade.
I want hot dogs, balloons, the whole schemer.
We're gonna celebrate this 200th anniversary proudly and publicly.
We may be celebrating in bankruptcy court.
This festival's $250,000 in the red and we haven't seen one balloon.
You fill this square with people, and the businesses will come back here.
I think a lot of people might stay away, Mayor. They're scared.
They won't be scared when you get Grissom in that courthouse.
I promised that, remember?
Welcome, Count Dracula.
- Had any sightings of Bigfoot lately? - Hey, Knox...
- they buried your story on the Batman. - That's what they do to garbage.
This is Pulitzer Prize stuff, guys.
Hey, Knox. I got something for you.
Very funny. You should have a little bit more gore under the fangs, though.
What a dick.
Hello, legs.
I'm reading your stuff.
Well, I'm reading yours.
Hi, I'm Vicki Vale.
Yeah, photographer. Vogue, Cosmo. Yeah.
Listen, if you want me to pose nude, you're gonna need a long lens.
Actually, I was in the Corto Maltese.
A girl could get hurt doing this stuff.
So, what brings you here?
I'm here to see some of the wildlife in Gotham City.
Wildlife? Like what?
Like...bats.
- Who sent you? - Nobody, really.
I just loved your story, and...
I like bats.
really?
My pictures, your words. Pulitzer Prize material. Just think.
Okay, you're a visionary. You're also the only one who believes me.
I need something tangible.
Gordon's got a file on this. I can't even get him on the phone.
Bruce Wayne's benefit. He'll be there, right?
Yeah. I don't seem to be on the guest list. No.
Yes. Yes.
Yes. Vale, will you marry me?
- No. - Will you buy me lunch?
- Maybe. - I eat light.
Say this...
son of a bitch...
makes a connection with us and with Axis Chemicals.
What kind of damage are we looking at?
If he ties us in with Axis Chemicals, we're dead and buried.
We should move immediately.
I say we break into the place...
trash the office...
and make off with the records and say it was industrial espionage.
Smart thinking. That's the way to go. In fact...
I'd like you to handle this operation personally.
Me?
Hello, sweetheart.
I wonder if you'd mind waiting in the next room?
That's all, gentlemen. Thank you.That's all.
Carl...
can we get somebody else to do this?
The fumes in that place...
Jack.
It's an important job.
I need someone I can trust.
You are my number one guy.
Now...
don't forget...
your lucky deck.
My friend...
your luck is about to change.
Police Department.
Get me Lt. Eckhardt.
Can I help you, sir?
Thanks. Thank you very much. That's very nice of you.
Here you go.
- Good evening, ma'am. - A little crowded.
Excuse me.Excuse me...
Could you tell me which of these guys is Bruce Wayne?
I'm not sure.
Thanks anyway.
Yeah
Thank you.
Oh, certainly.
Bet!
Eight. I can make that eight.
- I can make that eight. - Place your bets, please.
Commissioner! Mrs. Gordon, you look lovely.
How about that rumor that Commissioner's got a file on the Batman?
That's not true, is it?
Knox, for the ninth time, there is no Bat.
If there were, we would find and arrest him.
Would you confirm him? Be straight with me, Commissioner.
- How you making out? - Not good at all.
Mr. Dent, I love that tie.
We were discussing the pros and cons of winged vigilantes. What's your stand?
Mr. Knox, we have enough problems in this city...
without worrying about ghosts and goblins.
Pardon me, but that's not a denial.
Excuse me, dear. I'll be back.
Isn't anybody going to go on record?
- Your Honor, great suit. - No comment.
- Robert, what's up? - Anonymous tip.
Napier's cleaning out Axis Chemicals.
Why wasn't I told about this? Who's in charge?
- Eckhardt, sir. - Oh, my God!
Come on, let's go.
Commissioner Gordon?
Wait, wait. Living room, dining room, arsenal.
Look at this stuff.
Who is this guy?
He gives to all these humanitarian causes, and then collects all this stuff.
He probably does it to get chicks. They like him for his big charity balls.
Don't leave out his very large bankroll.
Now, remember, the more they've got, the less they're worth.
Then this guy must be the most worthless guy in America.
Check this out. He must have been King of the Wicker People.
Where'd this come from?
I have no idea.
It's Japanese.
How do you know?
Because I bought it in Japan.
- Who are you? - Sorry. Bruce Wayne.
Alexander Knox.
I read your work. I like it a lot.
Thanks. Can I have a grant?
- Vicki Vale. - Hi.
- Bruce Wayne. - Are you sure?
Yeah, this time.
I've seen your photographs from Corto Maltese, haven't I?
Right.
You've got a wonderful eye.
Some people think she has two.
This is an amazing house. I'd like to shoot it sometime if you...
We need to open a few more cases of the champagne. Will that be all right?
Sure. Go ahead.
Open, what, six? Six?
- Six is good. - Okay.
That's great, six, thanks.
Anyway, you gonna be staying in Gotham for a while?
I'd love to. I'm intrigued by Alex's giant bat stories.
Oh, right. The Batman.
That's a little bit light after the war in Corto Maltese, isn't it?
- What do you do for a living? - Well, I'm involved...
Sir, Commissioner Gordon was compelled to leave.
Okay, thank you.
Very unexpectedly, sir.
Will you two excuse me?
I think perhaps this way, sir.
Yeah
Alfred, they need some more wine in the front room...
and someone named Mrs. Daley needs a copy of the menu.
And give Knox a grant.
Nice talking with you, Wayne.
The rich...
You know why they're so odd? Because they can afford to be.
Look at this mirror.
Maybe it should be Bruce Vain.
- Robert, what's up? - Anonymous tip.
Napier's cleaning out Axis Chemicals.
If we could put our hands on him, we'd have Grissom.
Why wasn't I told about this? Who's in charge?
- Eckhardt, sir. - Oh, my God!
Come on, let's go.
All right. Take a good look. This is the guy.
All right, get a good look.
Shoot to kill. You know what I mean?
All right, let's move out.
We've been ratted out here, boys.
Watch it.
Freeze!
You, left. You take the right. Move it.
What the hell's going on?
What are you trying to do? Blow the collar?
I'm in charge here, not Carl Grissom.
This is Commissioner Gordon. I want him taken alive.
I repeat. Any man who opens fire on Jack Napier will answer to me.
Let me down!
Oh, my God!
He went that way!
See if you can get up on the catwalk on that side.
You take that side. Be careful. Be very careful.
Jesus!
Let him go, or I'll do Gordon!
Nice outfit.
Come on, Jack, let's go!
Come on! Jack!
Eckhardt!
Think about the future.
God damn it, we had him.
Hold it right there!
- Who is this guy? - I don't know.
Until we find out, keep a lid on it.
Wait. If there's no Bat, then who dropped this guy, Napier, into the acid?
Suicide? Wait, I want to get this on tape.
Hello?
He hung up. What have you got?
Here's the inner city, there's Axis Chemicals...
and here's the sightings so far.
Maybe Batman has some kind of flight pattern or something.
That's all I can think of.
This is very good. I'll tell you what...
tonight, first I'll take you to dinner, then we'll walk the trail.
No can do. I got a date. With Bruce Wayne.
Wayne! Wayne! Oh, no!
How about you?
The guy's a stiff. He's a rich stiff, but you could do much better.
Thanks for being so concerned. Bye.
How's the soup?
Excuse me?
The soup. How is it?
It's great.
Could you pass the salt?
Sure.
Thanks.
Did you have a hard time finding the house?
- No, it was no problem. - Good.
Do you like eating in here?
Yeah.
You want to know the truth, I don't think I've ever been in this room before.
Do you want to get out of here?
Yes.
There was young Master Bruce...
leading his gray pony with me on its back...
like a sack of old potatoes, covered in mud and nursing a sprained ankle.
That was the first and last time I gave him a riding lesson.
I think I've embarrassed him for long enough.
I'm off to bed.
Please, leave everything. I'll tidy up in the morning.
- Good night, miss. - Good night, Alfred.
- Good night, sir. - Good night, Alfred.
He's really wonderful. He loves you a lot.
Alfred's great. I couldn't find my socks without him.
He sort of reminds me of my grandfather.
Were you close to him?
Yeah, I used to spend summers with him and my grandmother.
They had a house on the lake. Nothing like this, but...
it was fun.
- That sounds nice. - Yeah.
What about your family?
Actually, Alfred is my family.
This house and all this stuff really doesn't seem like you at all.
Some of it is very much me.
Some of it isn't.
That dining room is definitely not you.
The dining room isn't.
- Let's see how we did. - Yeah.
Oh, my God!
Mirror.
Mirror!
You understand that the nerves were completely severed.
You see what I have to work with here.
There's an awful lot of stairs in this place.
My feet are killing me.
Okay.
I feel a little drunk. And you're not anything.
One drink and I'm flying.
Why are you afraid of flying?
That you, sugar bumps?
Who the hell are you?
It's me.
"Sugar bumps."
Jack.
Thank God, you're alive! I heard you'd been...
Fried?
Is that what you heard?
You set me up over a woman.
A woman!
You must be insane.
Don't bother.
Your life won't be worth spit!
I've been dead once already.
It's very liberating.
You should think of it as therapy.
Jack, listen.
Maybe we can cut a deal.
Jack?
Jack is dead, my friend.
You can call me...
Joker.
And as you can see...
I'm a lot happier.
What a day.
Gotham City.
It always brings a smile to my face.
"Winged freak...
"terrorizes..."
Wait till they get a load of me.
I've got an idea. How about lunch at my place?
I'll show you some photos.
Sure. Okay.
Wait a minute. No, I can't. I can't make it.
Okay, we'll do it later in the day.
Hold on a second.
I can't make it then, either. I've got a very important meeting today.
What's wrong?
Nothing's wrong.
Really. I've just got to go out of town on business for a few days.
- Okay, we'll do it when you get back. - All right.
I got to go. I'm late.
Bye.
Jesus.
Alfred.
- It's nice to see you again, ma'am. - Nice to see you, too.
I'll talk to you guys when you get back.
Back, Miss Vale? We're going to be here for quite a while.
Well, bye.
Honey...
you'll never believe what happened to me today.
So, gentlemen, that's how it is. Until Grissom resurfaces...
I'm the acting president.
And I say, starting with this anniversary festival...
we run this city into the ground.
Why don't we hear this from Grissom?
Yeah.
And what's with that stupid grin?
Life's been good to me.
What if we say "no"?
Well, Tony...
nobody wants a war.
If we can't do business, we'll just shake hands and that'll be it.
Yeah?
Yeah
I got a live one here.
There'll be a hot time in the old town tonight
Antoine got a little hot under the collar.
You're crazy.
Haven't you ever heard of the healing power of laughter?
- Now get out of here! - You heard him. Let's go! Move it!
You think it over.
Let's go, come on. Get out of here.
Move it!
Bob
I want you to go down to the Globe, follow that reporter Knox.
Take your camera.
See what he knows about this Batman.
And, Bob...
remember, you...
are my number one guy.
Yes, sir.
Your pals...
they're not bad people.
Maybe we...
ought to give them a couple of days to think it over.
No?
Grease them now?
Okay.
You are a vicious bastard, Rotelli.
I'm glad you're dead.
I'm glad he's dead.
I need that.
I'm losing confidence in you. I thought we were a team.
This wouldn't be a personal issue for you, would it?
I just want you to do your job.
I am doing my job.
Me, too. I'm protecting my partner.
There's nothing in these files. No photos, no histories, no nothing. Who is this guy?
Who cares?
Forget about Bruce Wayne. I'm on to Batman.
They should be out here any second.
I can't wait to hear the explanation for this one.
Here he comes, man.
What is this affidavit you filed?
Grissom gave you all his businesses?
Mr. Grissom asked me, as a personal favor...
to take over the operation of his businesses until he returns.
That's a pretty big favor. You two must have been very close.
Very close.
Did you do a little time together as children?
Our accountants are looking into it. We assure you, the affidavit is legitimate.
I smell fresh ink, guys. You can prove all this?
What am I asking? Of course you can.
We have witnesses. Grissom's signature is perfectly legitimate.
It is legitimate.
I saw it. I was there.
I saw it all.
He reached up with his dead hand...
and signed it in his own blood.
And he did it...with this pen.
Hello, Vinnie. It's your uncle Bingo.
Time to pay the check.
The pen...
is truly mightier than the sword.
Get down!
Doesn't this gang war dampen the city's plans for the 200th anniversary festival?
The festival opens. The police are gonna stop these gangsters.
Mr. Dent, what do you think about the theory...
that the mysterious Batman is a mob enforcer killing these men?
I don't have any comment.
Batman.
Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in...
where a man dressed up as a bat...
gets all of my press?
This town needs an enema!
Alfred.
May I have a glass of water?
I'm relieved that you're home, sir.
Miss Vale telephoned. She was rather concerned.
I feel that there's a certain weight that lifts when she is here.
Alfred...
why don't you marry her?
That's not exactly what I had in mind, sir.
No.
I can't go on with that right now.
If not now...
when?
I don't know.
I just found out Jack Napier's still alive.
He's running Grissom's men. I need all the information the police have on him.
- Yes, sir. - Thank you.
Alfred.
She is great, isn't she?
Yes, sir.
- City room, Knox. - Hi.
- I want you to check something out for me. - Sure.
Find out what's so special about the alley at Pearl and Phillips Streets.
- Pearl and Phillips? - Yeah.
You got it.
Okay.
Okay, bye.
Mr. Wayne.
So much to do and so little time.
The photos.
Who's that loss?
It's Knox.
Bad tie. No style.
Stop the press!
- Who is that? - That's Vicki Vale.
She's the photographer who's working with Knox.
That girl has style.
Jesus marimba!
A lovely beast like that running around...
could put steam in a man's strides.
She's dating some guy named Wayne.
She's about to trade up.
It's hard to stay inside the lines.
I'm about...
to get a new girl, Bobby.
I'm of a mind to make some mooky.
- Phone book. - Yes, sir.
So much to do...
and so little time.
Have you shipped a million of those things?
Yes, sir.
Ship them all! We're going to take them out a whole new door!
Ten seconds to transmission.
Five, four...
three, two, one.
Cue music.
Cue Becky.
Good evening. The fashion world was stunned today...
by the sudden deaths of models Candy Walker and Amanda Keeler.
Cause of death has been attributed to a violent allergic reaction...
although authorities have not ruled out the possibility of drug use.
Peter.
And plans continue for the city's 200th birthday...
as Mayor Borg announced today at the unveiling...
This just in.
Three mysterious deaths at a beauty parlor...
At a beauty parlor in Gotham were discovered today.
What the hell's going on?
Becky, this is hardly the...
Becky.
Kill the camera.
This is Rene on the news floor.
I need some paramedics up here now.
New and improved Joker products!
With a new secret ingredient.
Smylex!
What is this?
Now, let's go over...
to our blind taste test.
Love that Joker.
- Where's it coming from? - I don't know.
He don't look happy. He's been using brand X.
But with new and improved Joker brand...
I get a grin again...
and again.
That luscious tan...
those ruby lips...
and hair color so natural, only your undertaker knows for sure.
I know what you're saying:
"Where can I get these fine, new items? "
That's the gag. Chances are, you bought them already!
Love that Joker.
So, remember...
put on a happy face.
- The information you requested. - Thank you.
"Jack Napier, assault with a deadly weapon, age 15.
"Results of psychological profile...
"violent mood swings, highly intelligent, emotionally unstable.
"Aptitudes include science, chemistry, and art."
Chemistry.
- Alfred, let's go shopping. - Yes, sir.
Six new deaths, with no clues as to the Joker's deadly weapon.
And what is the pattern?
Foods, alcohol, or beauty and hygiene products?
Cologne, mouthwash, underarm deodorant?
Or worse yet, there may be no pattern.
The search goes on through Gotham's shopping nightmare.
We are going to have a festival if I have to get a shotgun to get people there myself.
Do you hear the words coming out of my mouth? The festival is on!
And you find out what this madman is poisoning us with.
And fast. Do you read me?
We're working on it. I need all the help I can get.
Bruce, hi. It's Vicki.
I'm sorry, but I'm gonna be 10 minutes late to the museum.
I'll see you when I get there. Bye.
Sir, a message from Miss Vale.
She'll be 10 minutes late in meeting you at the museum.
Okay, fine, thank you. Wait a minute, Alfred.
I'm not meeting her today.
Jack, where are you going?
Daddy's going to make some art, darling.
Excuse me. Mr. Wayne's table?
Yes. He hasn't arrived yet.
We have a table waiting.
All right.
Miss Vale, this just arrived for you.
Gentlemen!
Let's broaden our minds. Lawrence.
Give him a shave.
Terence, brush.
The one-dollar bill.
Hold it!
I kind of like this one, Bob. Leave it.
You can take that off now, I think.
You're beautiful in an old-fashioned kind of way.
But I'm sure we can make you more today.
Is that your portfolio?
I'm meeting someone who wants to see my work.
Crap.
Crap...
Now that's good work.
The skulls, the bodies.
You give it such a glow. I don't know if it's art, but I like it.
Let me tell you what I'm thinking about, sweetie.
I was in the bath one day...
when I realized why I was destined for greatness.
You know how concerned people are about appearances.
This is attractive, that is not.
That is all behind me. I now do what other people only dream.
I make art. Until someone dies.
See?
I am the world's first fully-functioning homicidal artist.
What do you want?
My face on the one-dollar bill.
You must be joking.
Do I look like I'm joking?
Well...
Listen.
We mustn't compare ourselves to regular people. We're artists.
For instance, let me challenge you with a little piece I did.
Bob. Alicia.
You will take pictures and record my work.
You will join me in the avant-garde of the new aesthetic.
Jack, you said I could watch you improve the paintings.
I'm in trouble now.
Why is she wearing a mask?
She's just a sketch, really.
Alicia, sit down. Show the lady why you wear the mask.
You see, Miss Vale, Alicia's been made over in line with my new philosophy.
So now, like me...
she is a living work of art.
I'm no Picasso, but do you like it?
It's great.
So, what can I do for you?
A little song, a little dance.
Batman's head on a lance.
Tell me, what do you know about...
I don't know anything about Batman.
Really?
Well, how about a little "you and me"?
You're insane.
I thought I was a Pisces. Come on.
Let's make up. Have a little...
whiff of my posy.
Help me!
I'm melting!
I'm melting! Help me! I'm melting!
Boo.
Hold on.
Where does he get those wonderful toys?
- Get in the car. - Which one?
Let's go.
Shields.
How much do you weigh?
About 108, I think.
Hold on.
See that thing on my belt? Grab it.
Whatever you do, don't let go.
No blood.
Who is this guy?
Check his wallet.
- Wait a minute. - What is that?
Some kind of body armor. He's human after all.
Take off the mask.
Shoot her!
Shields open.
You weigh a little more than 108.
- Really? - Let's go.
Stop.
Where are we going?
Be careful.
Bats.
They're great survivors.
- What is all this? - The police have got it wrong.
They're looking for one product.
The Joker's tainted hundreds of chemicals at the source.
Then whole shipments of products would be poisoned.
And we'd all be dead.
No.
The poison only works when components are mixed. Hairspray won't do it alone.
But hairspray mixed with lipstick and perfume will be toxic, and untraceable.
How did you figure this out?
Take that to the press.
I might have some trouble with that.
A lot of people think you're as dangerous as the Joker.
He's psychotic.
Some people say the same thing about you.
What people?
Well, I mean, let's face it.
You're not exactly normal. Are you?
It's not exactly a normal world, is it?
Why did you bring me here?
You could have sent that stuff to the press yourself.
You're right.
There is something else you have that I want.
What?
He took the film.
Yeah.
Where have you been? Are you all right? Do you want me to come on over?
No, Allie.
If I bring something to you, can we make the evening edition?
Just barely. Is it hot?
Yeah, it's real hot.
Yeah, bye.
- Copy! - Yes, sir?
Avoid the following combinations:
Deodorants with baby powder, hairspray, and lipstick.
Safe products are flying in as Gotham City goes on a forced fast.
And all of Gotham is wondering what to make of Batman.
Friend or foe?
I have given a name to my pain...
and it is Batman.
You must possess strength to inflict pain, Bob.
We've got a flying mouse to kill...
and I want to clean my claws.
Sir, Miss Vale called again.
Dare I suggest that your present course of action...
might simply strengthen her resolve?
She is quite tenacious.
You're right about that.
And if I may say so, quite special. Perhaps you could try telling her the truth.
Coming.
Hi.
May I come in?
This is a nice apartment.
Lots of space.
Listen, I came over to...
- clear a few things... - I don't know who you think you are!
- You hurt me. - I know.
I called you and I called you. And you lied! You lied about leaving town.
- Let me tell you why. - Let me tell you!
You invited me out, we went to dinner.
I thought we felt something. And I trusted you.
I even slept with you. I can't believe I did that.
Then you wouldn't return my calls. You must be some kind of jerk.
You're a real nice girl and I like you a lot, but right now, shut up.
I have something I have to tell you.
You know how people have different sides to their personality?
Sometimes...
a person will have to actually lead a different life.
Oh, my God, you're married.
No, I'm not married.
You see...
my life is really...
complex.
All right, listen. You know how a normal person gets up and...
goes downstairs...
and eats breakfast...
and kisses somebody good-bye, and goes to...
a job and, you know.
No.
No?
All right, look.
Vicki, what I'm trying to tell you is...
Hey, it's okay.
- You can tell me. - Okay.
What I'm trying to tell you is...
is a ...
- I'll be right back. - All right.
Miss me?
Nice place you got here. Lots of space.
Vicki, we really should have a talk.
I'm very upset.
We were having dinner.
I was a man doing well with a beautiful woman.
And without so much as an apology...
you ran off with that sideshow phony.
You know, Vic...
I've recently had a tragedy in my life.
Alicia...
threw herself out of the window.
Oh, my God.
But...
you can't make an omelet without breaking some eggs.
Well, Ms. Vale...
another rooster in the hen-house?
Take thy beak from out my heart.
Bruce?
Bruce Wayne, n'est-ce pas?
Most of the time.
I know who you are.
Let me tell you about this guy I know, Jack.
Mean kid. Bad seed. Hurt people.
I like him already.
You know what the problem was?
He got sloppy. You know, crazy.
He started to lose it. He had a head full of bad wiring, I guess.
Couldn't keep it straight up here.
He was the kind of guy who...
couldn't hear the train until it was 2 feet from him.
You know what happened to this guy, Jack?
Listen.
He made mistakes.
Then he ended up with his lights out! Now you want to get nuts?
Come on! Let's get nuts!
Tell me something, my friend.
You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?
What?
I always ask that of all my prey.
I just like the sound of it.
Never rub another man's rhubarb.
Why is it every time we got company...
somebody always gets in the way?
I'll need a moment alone, boys.
I'm only laughing on the outside.
My smile is just skin-deep.
If you could see inside...
I'm really crying.
You might join me for a weep.
You wouldn't believe it. You really wouldn't.
While you were out entertaining, I've been here finding out about your street corner.
Vale
I think your friend Wayne is really screwed up.
More good news.
Here.
Oh, my God!
His parents were murdered in that alley.
That's why he went there.
Poor kid watched the whole thing happen in front of him.
Look at the look on the face.
It was the same in front of City Hall.
What do you suppose something like this does to a kid?
Vale
Don't get personal!
Alfred
Did you get the file on my parents?
It's on your table, sir.
Thank you.
What's on your mind, Alfred?
I have no wish to fill my few remaining years...
grieving for the loss of old friends...
or their sons.
The 200th anniversary birthday gala has been indefinitely postponed.
We simply cannot guarantee public safety...
Joker here.
We got interference. Call the OB unit.
Now you fellows have said some pretty mean things...
some of which were true...
under that fiend, Boss Grissom.
He was a thief and a terrorist.
On the other hand, he had a tremendous singing voice.
He's dead now, and he's left me in charge.
Now, I can be theatrical...
and maybe even a little rough.
But one thing I am not...
is a killer!
I'm an artist.
I love a good party.
So, truce.
Commence au festival!
And I've got a surprise for Gotham City.
At midnight, I will dump $20 million in cash...
on the crowd.
Don't worry about me. I've got enough.
We are not prepared to discuss any deals.
You heard it, folks, $20 million.
And there will be entertainment.
The big dukeroo. With me in one corner, and in the other corner...
the man who has brought real terror to Gotham City...
Batman.
Can you hear me?
Just the two of us.
Mano y mano.
I have taken off my make-up.
Let's see...
if you can take off yours.
Tell me, kid.
You ever dance with the devil by the pale moonlight?
Let's go!
Let's go, Jack!
See you around, kid.
Thanks.
Hi.
Tell me if I'm crazy.
But that wasn't just another night for either of us, was it?
I mean, we both got to each other, didn't we?
Why won't you let me in?
Why?
You got in.
I've loved you since I met you.
But I don't know what to think of all this. I really don't.
Sometimes I don't know what to think about this.
It's just something I have to do.
Why?
Because nobody else can.
I tried to avoid all this, but I can't.
This is how it is.
It's not a perfect world.
It doesn't have to be a perfect world.
I just gotta know, are we going to try to love each other?
I'd like to.
But he's out there right now.
And I've got to go to work.
Into the air, Junior Birdman!
Missed me!
Yeah! Watch me!
Get them. Take the pictures.
Gotham's greed.
And now, folks...
it's time for, "Who Do You Trust?"
Money, money! Who do you trust?
Me? I'm giving away free money.
And where is the Batman?
He's at home, washing his tights.
Winged battle flies through the night and finds me ready.
Bob. Mask.
Masks! Put them on now!
And now...
comes the part...
where I relieve you, the little people...
of the burden of your failed...
and useless lives.
But, as my plastic surgeon always said, "If you got to go...
"go with a smile."
Oh, my God!
Smylex gas.
He's going to kill everybody!
Get in the car. Get in the car!
Hurry!
My balloons!
Those are my balloons!
He stole my balloons!
Why didn't somebody tell me he had one of those things?
Bob. Gun.
I'm going to need a minute or two alone, boys.
Come on, get out of here!
Come on, you gruesome son of a bitch. Come to me.
Darling.
I've got to get you to the church on time.
Yes, sir?
Gotham City Cathedral. Transportation for two.
- Right away, sir? - Five minutes.
- Better make it 10. - Okay, 10 minutes.
All right, let's go, men, let's go.
You men go that way. Rest of you, follow me.
Let's go.
Point those searchlights up at the tower, right now! Move!
It can be truly said that I have a bat in my belfry.
Shall we dance?
You know, without you...
I just wouldn't want to go on.
It's as though we were made for each other.
Beauty and the Beast.
Of course, if anyone else calls you "beast"...
I'll rip their lungs out.
Mr. Joker?
You say such beautiful things.
And you're so powerful. And purple!
I love purple!
Excuse me.
Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?
I'm going to kill you.
You idiot!
You made me, remember?
You dropped me into that vat of chemicals!
That wasn't easy to get over! And don't think that I didn't try.
I know you did.
You killed my parents.
What?
What are you talking about?
I made you, you made me first.
Hey, bat-brain, I was a kid when I killed your parents.
When I say I made you, you gotta say you made me.
How childish can you get?
You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses on, would you?
What are you laughing at?
Here, let me lend you a hand.
Lend you a hand.
They don't make them like they used to!
Hey, Batsy!
There he is! Down there! Go down!
It's time to retire.
Feel free to drop in.
Sometimes I just kill myself!
Come on.
Hold on!
Our police have rounded up all the Joker's men.
The reign of crime is over.
Public safety in Gotham City is no longer a laughing matter.
Aren't you covering this press conference?
No.
What about our Pulitzer Prize?
What about us?
What about your picture of Batman?
Take care, Allie.
We've received a letter from Batman this morning.
"Please inform the citizens of Gotham...
"that Gotham City's earned a rest from crime.
"But if the forces of evil should rise again...
"to cast a shadow on the heart of the city...
"call me. "
Question. How do we call him?
He gave us a signal.
I thought champagne would be in order, ma'am.
Hi, Alfred.
Mr. Wayne told me to tell you...
that he might be a little late.
I'm not a bit surprised.