[Sirens]
[Woman] Time for school.
[♪ Krystal Harris: "SuperGirl"]
[Woman] Stop daydreaming. You'll be late for school.
Hi, Louie, come on.
- It's time to go to school. - [Louie meowing]
Let's go.
- [Woman] Are you feeling confident? - [Girl] Not really.
Just remember, when you make your speech,
don't look at the people.
Pick a spot on the back wall,
don't take your eyes off it, and speak loudly.
Thanks, Mom.
- Bye, Mom. - Good luck.
- Morning, Muttons. - [Muttons barks]
[Man] Be nice, Muttons.
Whoa. Whoa!
[Girl] Sorry, Mr. Robutusen.
Have a nice day.
I doubt it.
[Song continues]
[Girl] Whoo!
[Siren]
[Boy shouting]
[Girls cheering] ♪ Hey there, ho there How do you do?
♪ This is Grove Lions saying hi to you
♪ I'm Lana, Anna, Fontana
♪ Go, Lions
- Josh, what are you doing? - He's such a show-off.
Off the wall, please. Jeremiah, off the wall.
Come on, you know better than that.
- Good morning, Miss Gupta. - Morning, Lilly.
Lilly's friend.
[Kids chattering]
Oh, oh. Oops.
I'm sorry. I didn't see you. I was thinking...
Somebody sat on me again.
- Really? - Yeah.
I don't know what happened. I was sitting there, working on my speech.
- It's really a dumb class. - Jerk and jerkette sighting.
Hm?
[♪ Chad & Jeremy: "A Summer Song"]
[Giggles]
What? You never saw two idiots exchange saliva before?
Oh. Yeah. They're so rude.
Good. For a second I thought you were going A-Crowd on me.
- [Girl laughs] Negative. - [School bell rings]
- [Girl 2] Ready for debate? - [Groans] I'm never ready for debate.
[Cheering, chanting]
[Boy] This is not a debate. This is a control issue.
Grove controls our minds with what they teach us,
but they're not satisfied with that.
I think Grove should dump the uniforms and have casual dress all year round.
[Man] All right, all right. OK, girls, settle down.
Settle down, this is a debate.
After it's over, I want you back in your uniform.
- Whatever you say. - Josh sit down.
- He's the man. - He's my man.
OK, Josh, later. Down boy, you've made your point.
OK, so now we've all heard from Josh Bryant for the affirmative.
I love that sound.
- What's my point again? - You like our uniforms.
They're equalizers.
Now we'll hear the rebuttal from Mia Thermopolis,
who will present the negative argument against our proposition.
[Scattered applause and cheers]
Um...
I think, um...
[girl whispering] What a frizzball. Look at her hair.
[Teacher] Shh!
- Um... Uh... - [boy 1] We're waiting.
- [Boy 2] Say something. - You see, um...
- [scattered snickering] - [Mia stammering]
Casual... Casual...
- [girl 2] Are you OK? - She's gonna barf.
Look out, she's gonna hurl.
Cover the tuba.
- [All laughing] - [Teacher] OK, OK.
[♪ Mpulz: "The Journey"]
♪ You gotta move on from what's breaking your heart
[indistinct chattering]
[Man] Mia, finish up with Mrs. Talmond and then you can take a break.
- Huge tip from Mrs. Hirsch. - I got one from Mrs. Talmond.
- We are doing all right today. - Mr. Walsh's ropes are twisted.
[Woman] Mr. Walsh, stop twisting.
You'll strangle yourself.
- Hi, Mom. - You threw up, huh?
- And you ran away. - [Mia] I'm trying to forget about it.
Can I have some shoes and chalk, please?
Anyway, I'll go talk to your debate teacher...
- What's his name? - Mr. O'Connell.
...and straighten it all out. - Mm-hm.
Mom, I am never going to be a good public speaker,
just call him and tell him I want to be a mime.
- I can do that. - [Man] Here you go.
- Oh. Your grandmother called. - What?
The live one, who lives in Genovia. Clarisse.
Oh! Wow.
This is the first time she's contacted us, what's she want?
She's in town, she wants to have tea.
Tea? She came all the way from Europe to have tea?
[Telephone rings]
- Think I want to climb a little bit. - [Man] Rocks Around the Clock.
Isn't this the grandmother who made you two get a divorce?
[Sighs] Well, she didn't approve of me.
But Philippe and I made the decision to divorce on our own.
Why should I go see this snobby lady who ignores us?
Mia, she's your father's mother.
Just go see her tomorrow, please?
Tension.
She said your father hoped that you two would meet someday.
[Exhales] All right, I'll... I'll go.
[Rock music plays]
[Laughing, chattering]
[Boy] Whoo!
OK. All right. I win, band practice is over.
I have a music class. Out.
Let's have the third group try "Catch a Falling."
Do you want to be in the front?
- Thanks. - No problem.
Michael.
You sure you can't help me with my spotted owl petition?
I told you. I'm meeting my grandmother after school.
- Oh, right. - [♪ "Catch A Falling Star"]
[Clears throat]
[Man on speaker] The school tours are on Saturday, young lady.
I'm here for a meeting with my grandmother.
- Name? - Clarisse Renaldi.
Oh. Please come to the front door.
Thank you very much.
Get off the grass!
[Man shouts in foreign language]
[Woman shouts in foreign language]
Welcome, Miss Thermopolis. We've been expecting you.
Um, oh, be careful. Please don't crush my soy nuts.
Your soy nuts are safe.
- OK. - Right this way.
Please, make yourself comfortable.
[Woman]... special food for their daughter. She's allergic to peanuts.
And we need new pillows for the Prime Minister's wife.
She's allergic to goosefeathers.
Hello, Amelia.
I'm Charlotte, from the Genovian Attache Corps.
Hi. It's nice to meet you.
- Um, where am I? - [Charlotte] The Genovian Consulate.
You've got pears in your flowers.
Genovian pears. We're famous for them.
Now, if you'll sit down, she'll be with you in a moment.
No, I don't need a moment. I'm here.
- Amelia, I'm so glad you could come. - [Mia] Hi.
- You've got a great place. - Thank you.
Let me look at you.
You look so... young.
Thank you.
And you look so...
...clean.
Charlotte, would you go and check on tea in the garden?
Please, sit.
So, um...
My mom said you wanted to talk to me about something, so... shoot.
Before I... shoot, I have something I want to give you.
- Here. - Oh, um...
Thank you.
Wow.
It's the Genovian Crest. It was mine when I was young.
And that was my great grandmother's.
I'll keep this safe. I will take good care of it.
What did you want to tell me?
Something I think will have a big impact upon your life.
- I already have braces. - It's bigger than orthodontia.
The tea is served, ma'am.
Amelia, have you ever heard of Edward Christof Philippe Gérard Renaldi?
No.
He was the Crown Prince of Genovia.
Mm.
What about him?
Edward Christof Philippe Gérard Renaldi...
...was your father. - [Scoffs]
Yeah, sure. My father was the Prince of Genovia.
Uh-huh. You're joking.
Why would I joke about something like that?
No. No, 'cause if he's really a prince, then I'm...
Exactly. You're not just Amelia Thermopolis,
you are Amelia Mignonette Thermopolis Renaldi,
Princess of Genovia.
Me? A... A princess?
Shut up!
I beg your pardon? Shut up?
Your Majesty, in America it doesn't always mean "be quiet."
- It could mean "wow", "gee whiz"... - I understand, thank you.
Nevertheless, you are the Princess.
And I am Queen Clarisse Renaldi.
Why on earth would you pick me to be your princess?
Since your father died, you are the natural heir to the throne.
That's our law.
I'm royal by marriage. You are royal by blood.
You can rule.
Rule? Oh, no. Oh, no. No, no, no.
Now you have really got the wrong girl. I never lead anybody.
Not at Brownies, not at Campfire Girls...
Queen Clarisse, my expectation in life is to be invisible
and I'm good at it.
Amelia, I had other expectations, also.
In my wildest dreams, I never expected this to happen,
but you are the legal heir, the only heir to the Genovian throne
and we will accept the challenge of helping you become the princess you are.
I can give you books.
You'll study languages, history, art, political science.
I can teach you to walk, talk, sit, stand, eat, dress like a princess.
Given time, I think you'll find the palace a pleasant place to live.
- Live in Genovia? - It's a wonderful country, really.
Whoa, whoa! Ju... Rewind and freeze. I'm no princess.
I'm still waiting for normal body parts to arrive.
I refuse to move to, and rule, a country,
and do you want another reason? I don't want to be a princess.
[Stammering] Amelia! Amelia!
Amelia! Come back here.
[Clarisse groans]
Well, that went well, didn't it?
- Perhaps she needs more time. - Will you help me?
Miss Thermopolis...
I'm head of your security and you want me to be a chauffeur and babysitter?
For the time being, yes. The child needs protection.
[Mia] For 15 years, you couldn't find a spare minute
to tell me that my father is a royal?
- I thought I was doing the right thing. - Oh.
- The right thing for who, Mom? - All of us.
If we secretly divorced, he would be able to find a woman
who'd stay by his side in Genovia and produce heirs.
And I'd be free to live my life with you.
I mean, please, we met in college.
I was young. I wanted to paint.
Can you see me walking one step behind someone for the rest of my life?
With rules, regulations, waving, bowing and scraping. I was scared.
Living with a mother who lied to me for 15 years scares me.
- Where are you going? - Straighten up the royal bed chamber.
[Mother] After the divorce, we all discussed it.
Your father and your grandmother both agreed to keep their distance,
so you would have a chance of a normal childhood.
Free of emotional complications.
We were going to tell you when you were 18.
But when your father died, things changed, Mia.
We wanted to protect you.
OK, you know what?
I don't feel protected.
You try living for 15 years thinking you're one person
and in five minutes you find out you're a princess.
Just in case I'm not enough of a freak already, let's add a tiara.
[Sighs] Well...
...drink your soup. - I'm not really hungry.
Fine. Good night, sweetheart.
Fat Louie... you are so lucky you don't know who your parents are.
I've never ridden in a limo, he admitted bitterly to himself
as he crossed to the open window and looked out at the bay.
The fog looming like his pathetic life before him.
I can't believe I won an Emmy.
I have this favorite photo of Philippe.
We had so much fun here in college.
He was so full of joie de vivre, always laughing and smiling.
I remember.
Helen, if Amelia refuses to accept the throne,
Genovia will cease to exist as we know it.
So the future of your country is in the hands of my 15 year old?
Here it is.
Mm.
Ohh.
Philippe was ready to be king.
Then the terrible accident.
Even though it didn't work out between us,
- I loved your son very much. - Thank you.
Well, as always, this is as good as it's gonna get.
I can't wait until she's 18.
[Sighs]
Oh, this is a nightmare. I'm going back to bed.
Mia, the three of us have to talk.
Oh, OK. Is there something else about me and my life
that I might want to know about?
Oh, no. Are you two waiting to take me on a talk show
to let me know I have a twin sister who's a duchess?
You have a cousin who's a contessa.
Fondly known as Bartholomew. Actually, we call him Pookie.
Yesterday did not go well. Will you listen to your grandmother?
Amelia, in a matter of weeks we have an annual ball.
I was... I am hoping
that I may present you to the press and the public on that occasion.
However, you desperately need some instruction.
I speak for the entire Genovian parliament and the royal family.
And I speak for this family.
Excuse me. I don't have a family with either one of you,
because you ignored me for 15 years and you lied to me.
Families don't do stuff like that to one another, OK?
- Where is she going? - The tower.
- Mia, you can't run from everything. - She has a tower?
Please, just come down from there.
Most kids hope for a car for their 16th birthday, not a country.
Just make yourself comfortable.
- [Hissing] - Oh!
[Helen] This is getting us nowhere. Talk to me.
I can't, I'm late for a meeting with my guidance counselor.
I'm late for a meeting with Spain and Portugal.
[Helen] I have a thought.
Mia promises to attend princess lessons until your ball.
It's not my ball, it's Genovia's Annual Independence Day Ball.
I'm sorry.
Mia promises neither to accept nor reject
your offer to be royal until this grand ball.
Then she makes her decision.
Now can you both live with that?
It seems I have no option.
If I have to.
But I want not one word of this until that evening, is that understood?
Duh.
[Clarisse] The press would have a field day.
Well, let's not keep Spain and Portugal waiting.
I'm gonna be 16 this year,
and my mom traded two paintings to get me a 1966 Mustang.
- You know what a Mustang is, right? - I raise mustangs.
That is not a sensible car for a princess.
It's not a sensible car for anyone. It doesn't run.
I suppose I could donate something to this vehicle.
- [Mia] Good morning, Mr. Robutusen. - [Clarisse] Who is this gentleman?
My neighbor, but you wouldn't want to meet him.
He doesn't have very nice manners.
Good morning.
- There's someone I want you to meet. - OK. Whoa.
- You have two limousines? - One is yours.
- You raise limousines, too? - No.
- Amelia, this is Joseph. - Hi, nice to meet you.
The elegant European woman didn't stay for tea.
Thanks.
But the promise of tomorrow hung in the air.
Ooh!
Uh, Princess?
May I point out that, no matter how many times you push it,
- it will go up and down the same way. - Oh.
Joseph, can we 86 the flags, please?
No. The flags allow me to park anywhere.
- We keep the flags. - Sorry, Joseph.
You can call me Joe.
Joey? [chuckles]
[Laughs] No. Joe.
Did I miss something? Are we going to a wedding?
No, school. This is the surprise ride.
- [Speaking in foreign language] - This is Joe. Joe, Lilly. Lilly, Joe.
Hi, it's nice to meet you. You look like Shaft.
Yes. Excuse me.
- You want a ride? - Yeah. Totally.
- I got it. - Of course.
- OK - Oh, my word.
[Joe] Please fasten your seatbelts, ladies.
[Lilly] Is your mother dating an undertaker?
Uh... no. This long lost grandmother showed up and she wants me to use it.
- And? - I don't know.
I guess she's just trying to be nice to get me to like her.
Hey, Joe? Can you park a block away from school?
I don't want to cause a riot with this hearse.
This is a non-riot hearse.
And if it were a hearse, there would be silence in the backseat.
[Girls snickering]
[Cheerleaders] ♪ Hey there, ho there How do ya do?
♪ This is Grove Lions saying hi to you
♪ Go, Lions! ♪
[man on PA] This is a reminder.
Virtual homework may not be submitted for actual credit.
[Girl] Tell, me, Mia, is it true about your speech?
Are you speaking at the bulimic convention?
So you can speak and barf at the same time?
- [Makes retching sound] - [Girls laugh]
[Retching sound]
[Woman] Good glove, Michael. Way to go.
That's the way to make the play.
I'm gonna let this one go, Mia.
- Try catching, all right? - Are you sure?
It's slow-pitch, you can catch it on a bounce. Don't worry about it.
- Oh. - OK, now get it
and throw it back to the pitcher. Come on.
- [Grunts] - [All gasp]
[Kids snickering]
I am so sorry.
I'm really... I...
I didn't mean to. Can I help you?
[Woman] Ice. Get me ice.
[Trolley bell jingles]
[Lilly] I'm on the verge of becoming a nutcase,
and my parents think I need an attitude adjustment.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! - Sorry. Yeah, so,
my dad wants to take me to dinner tonight, just the two of us.
We ran out of things to talk about when I was eight.
- At least your dad's still alive. - Hey.
I thought you were getting over that. It's been, what, two months?
I know, I know, but after all, he was my dad.
Biologically, yes, but you never met the man.
Just a nice card and gift on your birthday for 15 years.
Be fair, they were beautiful presents.
Remember the Fabergé merry-go-round? That was nice.
- And he paid for my school tuition. - Yeah, I guess so.
You know, Lilly, I gotta run, OK?
I gotta go see your brother about my baby.
OK, but let's take the limo tomorrow, these hills are killing me.
[Mia] You got it.
[Rock music playing]
[Telephone ringing]
He fixes cars, plays guitar and he can sing.
- He is so hot. - He is wicked sweet.
Talk loud, I got a band rehearsing.
[Boy] You've been listening to the sounds of Flypaper.
We're flying away now.
[Man] All right, stop yelling. They're finished.
Hey. Oh.
It sounded really good. Ned is really wailing.
- Hello, Mia. - Hey, Doc.
So what's the diagnosis for my baby?
- Four hundred dollars. - [Honks horn]
Yeah, I know. It costs to be cool, huh?
- This is not my day. - I'll do some labor free.
Thanks, but I'll talk to my grandma about it. It'll be great.
Anyway, I'll see you guys later. I gotta be somewhere.
Ooh. "I'll do some labor free."
You, uh, sweet on her?
She's my sister's best friend.
That's the hardest place to be. Between friend and, uh, friendlier.
[♪ Nelly Furtado: "Trynna Finda Way"]
Your Majesty, the diplomatic pouch has arrived and she's here.
- Send her in. - [Charlotte] Yes, ma'am.
[Charlotte] I need more roses. Red, white, mauve.
Mauve.
- Miss Amelia, welcome. - Hi.
Straight ahead to your left. Her Majesty is in the library.
[Clarisse] Charlotte, take notes, will you?
Amelia, circle slowly, so I can evaluate the work to be done.
Amelia! Does your bad posture affect your hearing?
- Turn. - Oh, sorry.
No, slowly turn.
Slowly, thank you. Well, carriage, obviously.
Hairstyle.
Complexion. Stop!
Eyes, lovely.
But hidden beneath bushman eyebrows.
The neck is seemly.
Ears...
...like her father.
- Really? They are? - Oh, my!
- Who has nails like these? - Everybody.
Tomorrow, I would like to see clean fingers.
You will wear stockings, not tights, not socks,
and I never want to see those shoes again.
When walking in a crowd, one is under scrutiny all the time.
So we don't schlump like this.
We drop the shoulders, we think tall.
We tuck under and we transfer the weight
- from one foot to... - [Charlotte laughing]
No. Princesses never cross their legs in public.
Why don't you tuck one ankle behind the other,
and place the hands gracefully on the knees.
Aah!
Charlotte, I think it's time for tea.
[Mia] Tell me, how does my mother, or any person for that matter,
go into a parent-teacher conference and come out with a date?
Mia, Mr. O'Connell is not married, he's not living with anyone,
plus he's not pierced, tattooed or hair plugged.
Do you realize how rare a find that is south of Market Street?
Did it ever occur to you that if you dated one of my teachers,
it would give the other kids license to mock me for the rest of my life?
You're right, I didn't and I'm sorry.
It's just that Patrick... Mr. O'Connell,
he's such a nice man, a real gentleman,
and I haven't met one of those in a long, long time.
OK, OK. It's fine.
I can't do anything right anymore, can I?
[Meows]
- [Boys shouting] - [Boy 1] Come on, get her.
- [Boy 2] In your face. - [Shrieking]
- [Boy 3] Stop the ball. - [Woman] Come on. Come on.
Just block one, Mia, just block one!
- I can't do this, I'm a girl. - What am I, a duck?
No, I mean... You're an athletic girl.
I'm a synchronized-swimming, yoga-doing, um,
horseback-riding, wall-climbing type girl.
My hand-eye coordination is zero.
You can go later. Josh, get in here.
Yeah, I'm in.
I was watching you earlier and, um... you're way tense.
You gotta use your hands. Don't just stand there.
You gotta go for it. You gotta think like the ball, you gotta be the ball.
You gotta stop it, know what I mean? Ah?
- Ah. - Bring it on.
Hey, Joe. I'm gonna turn the backseat into a dressing room
so I can change into a proper outfit for Madame, OK?
- Yes, well don't forget the shoes. - Ah. Thanks.
Strange town, San Francisco.
When I purchased the pumps, they asked if I wanted them wrapped
or if I wanted to wear them.
All right, closing.
[♪ Aaron Carter: "Little Bitty Pretty One"]
Going up.
[Shouts]
- You all right? - Yeah, oh, I'm fine.
Going down.
Oh!
I've never put on pantyhose, but it sounds dangerous.
Grandma? Is it customary in Genovia to imprison your dinner guests
with Hermes scarves?
It's Hermès. The scarf is merely a training tool.
Eventually you'll learn to sit and eat properly without it.
Manners matter.
But enough etiquette for the day.
Now, Genovia does a lot of trade with Spain,
- so we prepare for that. - Sorry.
The quickest way to a Spanish heart is dance.
Shall we? What kind of dancing do you do?
Just normal kind, like, um...
[humming]
I see.
We have a Genovian alternative.
[Instrumental music on radio]
The dances here are very sedate. Right from the hips.
No bobbing of the head, please. It's not a doggy on a dashboard.
Straight, straight, straight up. Let's practice this here.
This dance is between a waltz and a tango. You see?
- It's a wango? - No.
All right, here we go. Spin out and spin into me.
- Spin in... [grunts] - [Gasps]
- OK. - No. No, no, no.
[Joe] Try again. One more spin, very quickly.
Pull away.
That's it, good. Good attitude.
Spin in.
- Good. - I did it?
- Yes. - I spun without hurting anyone.
That's very good news.
Spin, spin. It's done.
Better. It's coming along.
- Now, you may go home. - Thank you.
See you tomorrow.
Thank you, Joseph.
[Song begins again]
You've been wearing black too long.
[Woman on PA] This is Coach Harbula.
You can sign up now for the Baker beach party.
- Oh, sorry. Sorry... Sorry. - Hey, hey, Bobby Bad!
- Mia. Are you ready? Let's go. - Sorry, I can't do it today.
I've got a grandma thing. I'll call you, OK? Bye.
What, has your grandma turned into the big bad wolf?
Shazaam!
Cute, Jeremiah, but a way to a girl's heart
is not by treating her like a vending machine.
Get off the grass!
[Man in foreign language]
[Woman in foreign language]
[Man 2 in foreign language]
- Hi, Adolpho, I'm late. - She's late.
- You're late. - I know, I'm really sorry...
- Where is Paolo? - Send in Paolo.
Ah. Always prompt.
[Speaking Italian]
- My assistants, Gretchen and Helga. - [Clarisse] Good afternoon.
We're so pleased you could make yourself available.
Your Majesty.
- [Kissing] - [Groans]
We won't waste time, let the work begin.
Ah, of course. Where is the beautiful girl?
- My granddaughter, Amelia. - [Shrieks]
She is gorgeous.
- Let us take a closer look. - Paolo,
we have a limited number of days before the state dinner.
Frizzy, busy, dizzy... in the best sense.
Oh, I would like if your ladies would also sign
- our confidentiality agreement. - Majesty, they know what is a secret.
[Speaking foreign language]
Excuse me, the Genovian press secretary is waiting for your call.
Oh, yes, of course.
I'm afraid I'm going to have to leave, come back and be surprised.
Charlotte, watch him like a hawk.
[Paolo commanding in foreign language]
So we begin, Principessa.
In Paolo's hands, remember, you will be beautiful.
You have thick hair.
Like a wolf.
- Ow. - Is all right.
Do you wear contact lenses?
I have them, but I don't like to wear them.
Now you do.
- You broke my glasses. - You broke my brush.
Gretchen! Helga! [Speaks foreign language]
I love your eyebrows. We'll call them Frida and Kahlo.
If Brooke Shields married Groucho Marx, their child would have your eyebrows.
You want to know a big secret?
- Tell me. - The cucumber does nothing.
This is something we make up.
Majesty, Paolo is exhausted.
Only Paolo can take this and this,
- and give you... - A princess.
Better. Much better.
Why don't we go and have a wonderful cup of tea?
Come, Mia.
[Playing harmonica]
- Lilly, the car is here. - [Lilly] I'm coming.
Thanks for the ride. Thank you.
Hey.
What?
Michael, don't always think you can get a ride with us...
Oi. Who destroyed you?
Oh, um... [stammers] You think it looks that bad?
You look ridiculous, you should sue.
Well, um...
I know it's a little straighter and shorter.
- Weirder. - An attractive weirder.
- [Lilly] No, it's not attractive. - Seatbelts, please.
What I can't understand,
you ditched me again when I needed help on the Greenpeace petition.
This bag. You have one of these bags?
We could hock that and feed a whole third world country.
- Am I right? - No.
If there are no more passengers, I think we should close the door.
You used to care more about what was inside your head instead of on it.
Come on, Mia. Fess up.
I don't know where you are these days, and now you're an A-Crowd wannabe?
You're morphing into one of them.
Who knows, next week you could be waving pompoms in my face.
You sold out.
Was my mirror fogging up or was someone tearing back there?
- I'm fine. - I'll go meet your grandmother.
You should know that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt said that.
Yes. Another special lady, like yourself.
- I'll be back at 3 o'clock. - Thank you.
She has a hat.
Do you really think wearing that hat
is gonna keep people from seeing your new Lana-do?
Just because the student population might be morally bankrupt
- doesn't mean they're blind. - Lily! Just stop it, OK?
Just because your hair sucks, get off mine.
Ouch, thank you.
Can you please pretend you have a life for just one moment?
Hey. Relax. Breathe.
[Makes breathing sounds]
- What did you just say to me? - You heard me.
I am so sick of you ragging on me all the time
and always telling me what to do.
I get enough of that from my mother and now my grandmother.
I don't need it from you.
I'm not an idiot. I know something's going on you're not telling me.
Friends tell. So, you know what? Here is your friendship charm.
I'm taking it off and it's going in the dirt.
Don't do that. OK? Just...
- All right, just... Wait. - Why?
I will tell you the truth, but you're gonna think it's stupid and freak.
Try me.
[Engine buzzing]
Shut up!
Shut up! Shut up!
- Is that all you can say? - I'm sorry I was harsh.
I don't know what else there is to say.
Will you come on my cable show?
I can't, this is a royal secret. You can't tell anyone, not even Michael.
You are sworn to secrecy. Secret handshake.
We might have to think of a new secret handshake.
Are you really sure you can run a country?
You could barely keep your goldfish alive for a couple of days.
I'm not sure of anything right now.
There are pros and cons to being a princess.
- Don't say that word, people can hear. - OK. OK.
Class has begun.
Class has begun and I have a little surprise for you.
Pop quiz, French Revolution.
Oh, Mr. O'Connell.
There's a school rule that says nobody's allowed to wear hats in class.
I don't think anybody should be an exception to that rule, do you?
No, Lana. Mia, I'm sorry, but hats are against the dress code.
Mia?
- [Girl] What? - [Students murmuring]
Mama Mia!
- Look who's trying to fit in now. - It's a wig, right?
I think it looks really sweet, Mia.
[Girl] Looks like she got a head transplant.
Well, I think it rocks, and you know what?
Voltaire, hair.
I would personally like to learn about Voltaire.
OK, Lilly. OK.
OK, everybody settle down now. Quiz time, OK?
[Clarisse] The roses are lovely, but now we need fountains,
lights in the trees.
The Japanese Embassy has a waterfall, why can't we have fountains?
- We have a fountain up there. - I would like at least two in here.
- Charlotte, just make me an Eden. - Yes, ma'am.
Mm.
- Amelia, let's continue. - Hm?
[Clarisse] In your spare time, I would like you to read these.
"What's in a name?
That which we call a rose by any other word would smell as sweet."
And so, you wave to them and acknowledge them gracefully.
- Hello. - No, no.
Not quite so big, it's very exhausting after awhile.
Very funny, dear. Try it properly.
Waving, even more gently.
You sort of say, thank you for being here today.
- Thank you. - Thank you for being here.
I'm sorry, ma'am. I must pick up the Prime Minister. Excuse me.
[Both] Thank you for being here today.
[Mia] So, this is considered art.
My parents did this in the '60s.
Yes! They had an exhibition at Woodstock.
I guess you're trying to bring it back?
Well, yeah, this beats homework.
Some moms help their kids with homework, you do this.
[Mia] Oh, nice shot.
[Helen] Yes, I like it.
Bull's-eye.
[Both shouting]
This is more fun than princess lessons.
What're you doing Saturday night?
Oh, are you guys playing?
Rehearsing some new things. We got two new songs.
Oh yeah?
Plus, surprise, we got the new parts for your 'stang.
Oh, yay!
- We could put it together, together. - OK, well, uh,
- is this like a date? - No.
- Music, cars... - Would it include pizza?
Of course, pizza's a given.
- With M&M's? - Wait up! Wait up for me.
Not you, I don't even know you.
- Well, then I am in. - Great.
- Saturday, it's on. - Yeah, great. Hi.
- Hey, Lill. What's up? - [Men shout indistinctly]
- What's happening over there? - I don't know.
[Chattering]
- [Mia] What's going on? Maybe. - Maybe it's a protest.
Excuse me. Hi. Who are you all waiting for?
There she is. That's Mia Thermopolis.
- We're waiting for you. - Right here, Princess.
- Lilly, did you tell? - I didn't say anything.
- [Clamoring] - Princess Mia,
who is your favorite actor?
- Why are they calling her princess? - Mia!
- What do you do about pimples? - Come on, let's just go.
[All clamoring]
Come on, Mia. Let's get inside.
- [Girls] Ohh. - Wait. Wait, wait, wait.
[Girls chattering]
- The phone's ringing off the hook. - What?
Oh.
[Patrick] Mia, your mother's on her way.
- [Telephone rings] - Gupta.
Mm-hm. Mm-hm.
Mm-hm.
The Queen is coming. To Grove High School.
[Woman] A limo with flags.
[Man] The Genovian limousine has arrived.
The Queen is getting out.
Why all the secrets?
All we keep hearing is "no comment." Do you have a comment?
[Overlapping chatter]
Are you taking the Princess home?
Mom, I don't know who told on me.
We'll get to the bottom of this.
Here's your tea, your Majesty. I'm sorry we don't have finer china.
- It's perfectly all right. - Here.
Joseph.
- [Joe] Speak. - Paolo?
Majesty. It was I who told the press.
I outed you, so to speak. I don't mean to imply...
[foreign language]
But not for money. Paolo hates money, he spits on money.
There was no money. Well, there was some money.
A man like me. Each ring is...
The point is it was pride and ego that drove me to know
that royalty would see one day the beauty was mine,
the hair was mine.
That I, Paolo Puttanesca, was responsible...
[both speaking Italian]
By the way, your hair, magnificent. Next time we go lighter.
- Would you like to say anything? - Isn't that just awful?
Doesn't anyone respect royalty anymore?
What is it like in Genovia, Your Majesty?
Do people just fawn over you?
I wonder, would you give us a moment alone?
- I'm the vice principal. - Would you take this fine educator,
and show her your security plans for Amelia's safety?
What?
- Ah, yes, of course. - Your Majesty. Thank you.
- Your security system is a bit lax. - Is it?
[Helen] A week ago, Mia was a normal, little kid.
She has never been normal, she was born royal.
We cope with the press every single day, and we will do it again.
You don't have to do this.
You can get out of this whole thing right now.
Your mother is right. We had a bargain.
All right. I will think about it and let you know soon.
Good. A diplomatic answer.
Polite but vague.
Mia is the daughter of local eclectic artist, Helen Thermopolis.
They currently live in a refurbished firehouse south of Market Street.
Mia is also the only grandchild of Queen Clarisse Renaldi.
Whose husband, King Rupert, passed away last year.
This is Nelson Davenport, KRLH.
[School bell rings]
[Woman over PA] Will the Feng Shui Club
please stop rearranging the tables on the lawn.
Hello, princess! You're the most popular girl in school,
everybody wants to take your picture, and be your best friend.
- Hi, Lilly. - Hi. So you know what?
I've made a list of all the reasons for you not to be a princess.
Number one, no privacy.
Number two, you always have to look just right.
- Number three... - Whoo!
[Mia laughing heartily]
Are you OK?
- What was number three? - OK, number three:
You can't go nutso. You can't be all blah during the day.
Lilly, Lilly, um,
I really don't want to talk about this at the moment.
- OK? - OK.
One last question. Now that you're "out,"
would you come on my cable show Saturday night?
- Yeah, sure. - I love you.
I'm going to buy you another charm for your charm bracelet. OK? OK.
See you Saturday night.
Joe!
Yes, Miss Mia.
I don't want to run my own country. I just want to pass tenth grade.
So... can't I tell everyone I simply quit?
No one can quit being who they are, not even a princess.
You can refuse the job, but you are a princess by birth.
How can I tell if I can even do the job?
By simply trying.
Like the fancy dinner coming up. She thinks you're ready.
Really?
Shall we practice entering like a princess?
OK.
Entering.
At the Grand Ball, you enter with the Queen,
but at the State Dinner, you enter unaccompanied.
Shoulders back...
...smile. They're all happy to see you.
- [Man 1] There she is. - [Man 2] How is she?
You are much prettier.
Well done, the worst is over.
Our diligent Prime Minister, Sebastian Motaz.
- Hello. - His lovely wife, Sheila.
- Hi, nice to meet you. - Hello.
Their charming daughter, Marissa.
Lord Fricker, let me take your brandy glass.
You won't need it in there.
Easy on the schnapps, remember the Winter Dinner.
I'm not allowed to go to the party.
Dinner is served.
[Snoring]
Her Majesty, Queen Clarisse.
Someday we will own Genovia again and you will be Queen.
And your face will be on a postage stamp.
- How are the children, Robby? - Would you like to see them, ma'am?
There's Ryan and there's Bridget.
[Clarisse] Ohh. They're beautiful.
Would you like to see?
Mr. Prime Minister, how would you say the pear market is doing in Genovia?
The Genovian pear market is blossoming, if you'll pardon the pun.
I hear they're serving filet on the bone.
And that's their princess.
- They grow up so fast, don't they? - Hi.
- You wanted to see me? - Is everything all right?
- Yes. - What happened with the ice bucket?
Oh, um... [stammers]
- I had a clumsy moment. - OK.
The food's delicious, by the way.
[Sheila] It was for a feminist group in Scotland called Tarts for Tartan.
- They were a wild bunch. - Very exciting.
Thank you.
Between the courses to cleanse the palate.
- Mm. - Yeah?
[Whimpering]
[Muffled] I'm fine. It's cold!
- She didn't realize it was frozen. - What should we do?
We should take that much, too. Just do the same thing.
- [Muffled] No! - [Both moaning]
They are acting like monkeys.
Have you ever experienced that instant headache
when you eat ice too quickly?
No.
Wash your hands.
[Clears throat]
- I'm really sorry. - It happens all the time.
I would like to propose a toast,
to the Baroness and Baron von Troken.
May you always be Baron.
The famous Genovian pear and cheese dessert.
What else?
Ooh.
[Woman] You are nothing but an overdressed, drunken...
I'm outta here.
- [Shouts] - [Woman gasps]
[Woman] I am sopping.
Was that my fault?
[Laughing]
[All laughing]
Shall we adjourn to the Grand Ball for coffee?
Sorry I let you down, Dad.
Good night, Louie.
[Music box chiming]
[Clarisse] This place was such a mess when I first arrived.
I've been spending every spare moment in it I can.
Pick up one of these. Make yourself useful. Spray everything.
- You're not mad for what happened? - Actually, I found it rather funny.
Reminds me of my first royal dinner party.
I knocked over a suit of armor
and the spear went right through the suckling pig.
Amelia, why don't we cancel lessons for today and just have some fun.
Fun? You're not too busy for something like that?
Your Majesty, Lady Jerome has just arrived,
and I have the French Consulate's assistant on hold.
He wants to confirm tonight's dinner.
Send my apologies. Cancel everything today.
I'm being shown San Francisco by a true San Franciscan.
Tell Joseph I'll need the car.
- Yes, ma'am. - Oh, wait, um...
...I want to show you my baby.
[♪ Lil' J featuring Nobody's Angel and Tammie Phoenix:
"Ain't Nuthin' But A She Thing"]
[Clarisse] I haven't sat in the front seat of a car in the longest time.
[Mia] By the way, thanks for the money for my car, Grandma.
[Clarisse] So where are you taking me?
- [Mia] Well, do you have any change? - No.
It's not appropriate for royalty to jingle.
[Mia] OK, I'll get the change.
Oh! This one's my favorite. You put a quarter in and grab his hand.
- I touch that? - Yeah, you touch that.
And then you press the button and, um...
...then you just go. - All right.
Looks like Rupert's cousin from Liechtenstein.
- How do I know it's ready? - It'll just go.
There you go. It's going. It's going!
- Go, go, go, go! - Ow!
You enjoy this humiliation?
[Mia] It's hard the first time, but you can do it again.
- Hold this. - Thank you.
[Mia] Come on, you can do it.
I'm ready for you this time.
Go. It's going, it's going. Go, go, go.
Go, you're doing good.
Yes! You got it. Gimme five.
- Five? Oh. - Five.
- [Clarisse] Oh. - [Mia laughs]
Ohh... I want one of these.
Just not this one.
So... Did my father always want to be a prince?
Oh, yes.
Except once about 15 years ago.
He seriously considered renouncing his title.
Because he met a lovely artist who showed him wonderful things
about how life could be, how he could be.
But?
But he had a decision to make. Nobody could make it for him.
Not I, though many people thought I did, or anybody else.
Philippe knew that my first born,
his brother Pierre, wanted to abdicate
which he did, eventually, to join the church.
Your father realized that the love he could have for one person,
or even two,
could not make him forget the love he felt for his country and its people.
It was the hardest thing he ever had to do.
Oh. Oh.
- Do you want a bite of this? - Why not?
Well, here goes.
- Why, it's delicious. - Really?
- Mm-hm. - Oh, OK, well, then, um,
let's get another one.
I know it's the fastest way back to the consulate, but I hate this hill.
I do believe I'm beginning to feel that corn dog.
- [Mia whimpering] - [Brakes screech]
Maybe you could sneak gently through.
- OK, I'll try. - Good.
- Now blaze on up. - I got it.
- Yes, you've got it. - I got it.
You've got it.
- [Mia] I haven't got it. - [Clarisse] Uh-oh.
- Mia... Mia, brake! Brake! - [Mia screams]
- Look out! - Oh!
Down here!
[All scream]
911, I need to report an accident.
Didn't you hear the bell?
- They put me on hold. - For the love of God.
[Man] Put down destruction of public property.
I will and last, but not least, driving without a license.
Accompanied by an adult whose license expired 45 years ago.
I've been trying to tell you, officer. Licenses don't expire in Genovia.
Not for the Queen. Don't I have diplomatic immunity?
You do, but her we have to take downtown.
What?
- I'm sorry, miss. - It's all right, I understand.
- I understand perfectly. - You do?
Mia, no town, no city, no country can function peacefully
if it's officers and transportation engineers
don't follow the letter of the law.
I would be proud to have
two such fine, honorable gentlemen serving in Genovia.
- Aw shucks, ma'am. - We're not all that.
Oh, but you most certainly are.
As a matter of fact,
I would like to bestow upon you the honor of the, um...
...Genovian Order of the...
...uh, Genovian Order of the Rose.
- Oh. Oh! Ooh! - [All] Ooh!
- Oh... - Won't you please kneel?
Does anybody have a saber?
- Oh, I've got an umbrella. - Uh...
- I have an emergency brake. - This will do fine, thank you.
With the power vested in me by the royal crown of Genovia,
- I dub thee... - Artie Washington, San Francisco.
Arthur Washington, and I dub thee...
Bruce Macintosh of San Leandro.
Bruce Macintosh, masters of the Order of the Rose.
And all of you bear witness to this auspicious moment in history.
- Please rise. - Wait'll I go home and tell Bernice.
Now, Mia, I know you don't want to go all the way downtown, but...
That won't really be necessary. No one got hurt, did they?
- We're insured. - Chivalry ain't dead, you know.
- Noble Arthur, how very kind. - Do you need a lift home?
Oh! That would be very helpful. Thank you. Come along, Mia.
- Good-bye, trolley people. - Please take the car to Doctor Motors.
[Overlapping goodbyes]
Goodbye.
You were awesome. You are the coolest queen ever.
[Scoffs] All in a day's work.
Wave good-bye, that's a queen.
- Oh, would you like to slide in first? - I never slide.
- Good-bye. Thank you. - [Woman] Good-bye!
- [Trolley bell dings] - [Man] Bruce,
how 'bout getting on your royal carriage and getting us out of here?
[Man] Here she is. This is the possible new Princess of Genovia.
That's right, Genovia. Anyone know where Genovia is?
[Woman] A country between France and Spain. That was a question on Jeopardy.
[Man] This girl won the genetic lottery.
Back up, let's go, the Princess is late for school.
- Could you sign my backpack? - Hi, Princess.
- Can I have your autograph, please? - What's your name?
- Lilly. - That's my best friend's name.
Would you consider you and the princess best friends?
I would say that. We do everything together.
We shop, get our hair done, even finish each other's sentences.
It's very cool.
- What's your name? - Charlotte.
- You two must be twins. - Yes.
I don't have any sisters, but I do have a cat, Fat Louie.
[Charlotte] That's a funny name.
[Girl] Will you take a picture with me?
- The Princess is late for algebra. - Thank you so much.
- The pack is back. Are you ready? - [Harmonica playing]
[♪ Pink: "Split Personality"]
Hey. Hi.
Mia.
Hi. [chuckles nervously]
Step into my office.
[Nervous laugh] OK.
Hi.
So, um, I hope what Lana said on TV didn't freak you out too much.
- No. - OK, good.
Because I broke up with her because of it.
I hate phony publicity seekers.
Anyway... Saturday night's the big beach party.
Uh-huh.
I think it'd be cool if we went together.
See ya on the waves.
- OK. - OK.
Bye.
[Woman on PA] Attention.
Remember to watch Grove High School's TV cable show Saturday night,
with our host, Lilly Moscovitz.
- [Mia] Michael. - Princess.
You will never guess what Josh Bryant just asked me.
Can I borrow a comb?
No.
He asked me to go to the Baker beach party with him.
That's this Saturday, right?
Yeah, so I was thinking I could come by next week
and listen to your band play then.
- All right? - Oh, yeah. That's... yeah.
- You OK? - Yeah.
- I'm fine. - I have to go, but thank you so much.
- Bye. - Bye.
[♪ BB Mak: "Miss You More"]
- [Helen] Joseph driving you? - [Mia] No. He took the night off.
I'm gonna take the bus with the other kids.
- OK, I look like an asparagus. - But a very cute asparagus.
Don't worry, I'm just gonna wear my blue suit.
Are you nervous about the beach party?
No, actually I'm kind of excited. I think I might get my first real kiss.
Ohh. Who from?
Josh Bryant.
That Backstreet Boy clone you've had a crush on forever?
He is not a Backstreet Boy clone, he's a sailor.
I thought he was never nice to you.
Oh, well...
I don't know, he is now.
I just hope that if he kisses me, um... my foot pops.
- Pops? - Yeah.
You know, in old films, whenever a girl gets seriously kissed,
her foot would just kind of pop.
[Laughing] Pop!
OK, I'm gonna go change now.
I hope you get your first real foot-popping kiss.
- [Up-tempo music] - [Dog barks]
We are Mark and Brian and welcome to the Baker Beach Bash.
With one week left of school, you'll be out for the summer
and we know what's on your mind, how are you gonna find that summer love?
If you do, how do you know if it's true?
Here to tell us all about it, please welcome Lana and the Lanettes.
[Both DJs] Lana, Anna and Fontana.
[♪ Mandy Moore: "Stupid Cupid"]
- That is so amazing. - Awesome, huh?
- I'm glad you had fun. - I did.
I thought you'd get scared.
- Most girls I take freak out. - I wasn't scared.
[All cheering]
And now it's time again for your favorite talk show host,
direct from Grove High School, the lovely Lilly.
[Lilly] It's Saturday night,
and welcome to my cable show, Shut Up and Listen.
Later on in my show I will be joined by our very own Princess Mia,
to discuss her positive opinion
of the Save the Sea Otter Movement.
Until she arrives, I've asked Grove's magic master,
Jeremiah Hart, to entertain us with some sleight of hand.
Hello, folks.
[♪ 3G's: "Crush"]
[Helicopter approaching]
[Girl] Awesome.
Hey, Princess, give us a smile.
How did they find me here?
- What? - How did they find me here?
[Mark] Wave everybody, you're on TV.
Wait, Princess. Don't be shy. Come back.
[Mark] Chopper boy, look over here. Royal DJ's.
[Groaning]
- I am so sorry about all of this. - No, it's fine.
It's fine. They can't get us in here.
We were having such a good time and they came and ruined it.
I know. I know. I mean...
They can't see us, we can't see them.
We're all alone in this little shack.
Actually, you know what? It's kinda cozy in here.
There's no one I'd rather be here with than you, Mia.
- Really? - Yeah.
- Josh. - Mm-hm.
- This isn't romantic. - You're right.
No, it's my foot, it's caught in a volleyball net and I...
Yeah, here.
Oh!
[Lana] Hey! My dad thinks I'm a princess.
[Girl] I'm a friend of Mia's.
While we're waiting, how about a foot massage?
That would be so wonderful, thank you.
No, actually, I mean you give me one.
Oh, yeah... [chuckling]
And, indeed, it is the queen of hearts.
Thank you, Jeremiah,
for your potpourri of prestidigitations for the past hour.
Obviously, Princess Mia has a problem appearing here tonight.
And I'm sure she has a good excuse.
I'm Lilly Moscovitz for Shut Up and Listen.
Thank you and good night.
- Mia. The coast is clear. - Really?
- They're gone. - Good.
What do you say we go find a more romantic spot?
OK.
[Man whispering] Quiet, quiet.
[All clamoring]
No, stay.
- Give her a smooch. - Give her a big, sloppy wet one.
Oh!
Hit him again.
Go away. Get off. Go away and leave me alone.
The Princess has left the building.
- What's your name? - Where do you go to school?
Josh Bryant.
I go to Grove High School.
- What, are we friends with Mia now? - Yes, we hate Josh.
Sorry, it's hard to keep up with who we're not talking to.
- Here she comes. - Mia, Mia...
I'm sorry, I can't talk. I've got to get my clothes.
We've got your clothes. You'll be a lot warmer.
- You guys want to help me? - Yeah, Josh is such an idiot.
We're gonna make sure no one bothers you.
Thank you, um, that's really nice of you.
That's so great of you. Thank you so much.
- Everything's fine. - [Mia] Is anybody coming?
[Both] No.
- [Mia] I really appreciate this. - OK, OK.
[Whispering]
She's got her bathing suit off.
OK, now.
- [Man] Princess! - [Screams]
That was the scream of Princess Mia.
- Go away. All of you, please! - [Woman blows whistle]
Come here, Mia.
Piranhas, all of you. Back off!
My mom always told me I couldn't cry and to be a big girl.
You've been hurt, so you just cry, OK?
[Sobbing]
It was really bad.
My foot didn't even pop.
[Woman] It was just last night
that San Francisco's own little princess partied at the beach.
But what started out as innocent fun,
soon turned into allegedly too much fun.
- This is Suki Sanchez for KPFW. - [Clarisse sighs]
- Please say something. - [Clarisse] There's not much to say.
A picture's worth a thousand words.
And you have two pictures.
I really embarrassed the family, didn't I?
Not to put too fine a point on it, yes, you did.
I think you're making a wise decision to abstain from the job.
I suppose I won't come to the ball, then.
Of course you should come. You're still family.
Just because you don't want to be our princess, doesn't mean you're in exile.
Your mother's planning to come. All your guests are invited.
Except for your beach friends.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm meeting with the press in an hour to do damage control.
You can come in now.
If I may say so, that did not go very well.
Is this the way a princess should act?
My information tells me that boy was using her.
The kiss was merely a device so he'd get his 15 minutes of fame.
Her friends didn't help, either. Anna, Falana, Banana, Bandana...
I have no idea what you're talking about.
Why didn't she have enough common sense to deal with this?
She's only 15. But today she acted beyond her years.
She showed great respect and gracefully accepted your criticism.
You're saying that as a queen, I was too harsh on her.
I was critical of the person who could become the next ruler of my country.
I'm saying as a grandmother,
you might have been too harsh on your granddaughter.
- Do you think she can do it? - Oh, I have no doubts, ma'am.
I thought so, too.
[♪ Backstreet Boys: "What Makes You Different (Makes You Beautiful")]
Hey, it's Mia Thermopo-lips.
Can you autograph your picture for me? Josh did.
There's Princess Pucker Up.
[School bell rings]
Lilly?
Can I talk to you for a minute, please?
Can I just talk to you for a minute?
- Is that cool? - Sure, let's talk.
About what? Hm? How you broke my brother's heart?
How you stuck me with Jeremiah during my show, doing pick a card?
- [Clucking] - I'm sorry. OK?
I forgot to call you and tell you I couldn't make it.
So, I was stuck with Happy Houdini
while you're making out with the yachting yahoo.
- Those are really good alliterations. - I don't want to talk alliterations.
I came up here to tell you I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I missed your cable show, and I'm just really sorry.
I can't believe you hung me up, after all I did for you.
I kept your royal secret.
Do you know how hard it is to have a show and keep a secret?
You didn't keep it a secret
how jerky you thought my being a princess was.
Congratulations, you got your wish. I'm not gonna be a princess.
- You're not? - No.
But I want you to be.
What?
I didn't mean it. The green monster of jealousy came out
because you were Miss Popular and I thought I was losing my best friend,
so I got angry, upset and hurt.
I told you, I need an attitude adjustment.
- [Sighs] - But the truth is,
you being a princess is kind of a miracle.
Whoa. No!
What miracle? It's a nightmare.
No. Think about it.
I just found out that my cable show only reaches 12 people.
Wanting to rock the world but having zip power like me, that's a nightmare.
But you, wow.
I mean...
OK, what is so wow?
Wow is having the power to affect change.
Make people listen. How many teenagers have that power?
- What more of a miracle do you want? - Well...
We'll just have to find a different miracle,
not more, just different.
Listen, tomorrow night is the Genovian Independence Day Ball.
To make up for missing your cable show, I'm inviting you.
I hope you'll forgive me.
And I hope you come.
But what will I wear?
[Making happy sounds] Yay!
I don't know, but it doesn't really matter.
- I'm just happy you're going to come. - Thanks.
- And you can be a princess. - No, I can't.
- [Lilly] Yes, you can. Yes, you can. - No, I can't. No, I can't.
- Move it in, let's go. - [Coach] Bobby Bad, hang up the phone.
Yes, Mom. I'll go to the dentist after school.
I hate it when they move in like that.
It's not a championship game, it's not even a big game, it's just gym class.
Just hit the ball. I don't want to flunk you in gym class.
Come on, you can do it. Keep your eye on the ball.
[All cheer] ♪ That's all right, that's OK
♪ You're gonna hit it anyway
♪ Go, Lions ♪
Come on. It's a ball, not a snake. Back in formation.
Sorry.
Foul ball. OK, it's all right. You got a piece of it.
It's OK, just focus.
Focus.
- [Girls cheering] - [Coach] Focus.
Come on, remember it's only a game.
[Coach] Keep your eye on the ball.
- [Cheering continues] - [Boy] Hey, Mia?
Would you rather hit a beach ball?
Order me a pizza, huh? Pepperoni.
[Groans]
- Oh! Oh! - [Girls scream]
- [Coach] Run, Mia! - Come on, let's go! Go!
I gotta go. Get up! What are you doing?
All the way, Mia.
Hi, Josh.
Come on, girl.
- Safe, and you passed. - [Shouts] Mia!
[Coach] Nice job. Way to go.
[Fire alarm rings]
Oh, uh, it's open, come on in.
Michael, hi, um, how are you?
- What? Oh! - [Mumbles]
Um... [stammers]
Um... [nervous laugh]
Did Lilly tell you that I called? Because, um, I called.
- I brought your car. - Thank you.
Seven times I called.
If you have any problems, Doc said to call.
OK.
Do you want the check now? I have the last payment.
Yeah. Thank you.
Are you hungry or thirsty?
- No. - Here it is.
Um, look...
Thank you for doing this for me. It's really great of you.
I didn't do it for you. Doc lets my band practice.
- Right. - I help with the cars.
- Here. - Thanks.
I know you're still mad at me for blowing you off,
and I'm really sorry I did.
I'm going to try to make it up to you.
- How? - Well, um...
I'm still going to the Genovian Independence Day Ball
and I'm inviting you.
It could be fun.
I'm wearing this great dress I can't breathe in.
- Lilly's got a date. - Josh looks better in a tux.
Oh, um...
But see, it's...
I really want you to be the one I share it with.
You don't have to wear a tux.
You can wear sweatpants for all I care.
Don't worry about me.
I just consider myself royally flushed.
Ow.
Stop the bovine massacre. Sign up now and save a cow.
Vegetarians have rights. Make Grove School more tofu friendly.
- Hello. - Hi.
Go sit by Jeremiah, I'll be there in a minute.
She's wearing that dorky hat again.
- You want to see a trick? - Not right now.
What are you doing? Are you writing a story or...
My portfolio's increased by 30 percent since last quarter...
Look what we have, the perfect nerd couple.
Jeremiah and Mia.
[Both] Oh, Miah and Mia.
Listen, my friends and I were wondering
was the sweater designed for you, or did the knitting machine just blow up?
Sunglasses, girls. It's Jeremiah hair glare.
Is one of your magic tricks your hair?
- Hey, Lana, you know... - Huh?
That is such a cute cheerleading outfit, it's so clean cut.
- I just, I bet it goes with anything. - Of course it does...
- [screaming] - [Gasps]
Mia, you're such a freak.
Yeah, I am, but someday I might grow out of that.
But you? You will never stop being a jerk.
- Lana got coned. - [All chanting] Lana got coned.
- Lana got coned! - Mia!
- Toodles. - [Chanting continues]
Mrs. Gupta, did you see what she did to me?
Oh, no, honey, I'm sorry. I was in a very important meeting.
Send it out for dry cleaning.
It's a present for your 16th birthday, from your father.
It was found among his possessions.
- My birthday's not for two weeks. - I know.
I wanted you to have it before we leave.
I return to Genovia the day after tomorrow.
Thank you.
It's locked.
If you open the locket I gave you, it becomes the key.
Thank you for bringing it down here.
I also came to apologize
for the way I spoke to you about the beach incident.
It was judgmental of me. I didn't pause to verify the facts.
That's all right, Grandma.
I've been thinking about it a great deal.
The truth is, I think you'd make a very fine princess.
People think princesses are supposed to wear tiaras,
marry the prince, always look pretty and live happily ever after.
But it's so much more than that. It's a real job.
You are an extraordinary person, Grandma.
But I don't think I'm meant to do this.
I would be so afraid that I would disappoint the people of Genovia,
and I couldn't bear to disappoint you again.
Well, as I said, I have faith in you.
- I'm a writer. - Ah.
- I write soaps, soap opera. - Mm-hm.
- Ever see Middle House Road? - No.
Big hit. I wrote a character just like you once, he was a spy.
- I'm not a spy. - That's what the character said.
- [Mia] I'll see you tonight, then. - [Clarisse] Mm-hm.
Haaaa...
Uh, I do have one favor to ask.
I need you to formally renounce your title for the press.
At the ball, you know.
- Make a speech. - Mm-hm.
Oh, um...
Do you think, maybe, considering my history with the press,
- it would be better if you did it? - Amelia,
you wouldn't stop driving your Mustang
just because a couple of insects hit the windshield, would you?
Besides, look how far you've come. I'll be right there with you.
- I'll have Joseph pick you up at... - Uh, no.
I promised I'd let my mom drive me.
She wants to drive me to my first ball or something.
- All right. I'll see you there, then. - Mm-hm.
Grandma?
I am sorry.
Oh, my dear.
You are first and foremost, my granddaughter.
Please don't be late.
[♪ B*Witched: "Hold On"]
Thank you, Dad, but I can't be a princess. OK?
I don't make speeches and I'm not Clarisse Renaldi.
And I just... I can't do it.
I'm scared.
- Joseph. - Charlotte, Miss Kawa.
Pardon me, I have to go get the band ready.
Should you be going to get Princess Mia?
Mia told Clarisse her mother would be bringing her.
Helen just arrived and said Mia was waiting for you.
She's going to run.
[Mia] Come on, Fat Louie, time to pack. Let's get your things.
Louie?
What have you got there? Come on. We're going on a trip.
We're going to Colorado where we can climb some real rocks.
We are so out of here, Louie.
[Mia's voice] My dearest daughter,
today is your 16th birthday, congratulations.
I present you with this diary to fill the pages with your special thoughts.
Special thoughts of your wonderful life.
[Father's voice] It is a custom in my family to pass on a piece of wisdom
when one reaches this age.
I pass it on to you, as my father passed it on to me.
Amelia, courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment
that something else is more important than fear.
The brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all.
From now on, you'll be traveling the road
between who you think you are and who you can be.
The key is to allow yourself to make the journey.
I also want you to know,
I loved your mother very much and still think of her often.
Happy birthday, my Mia.
All my love, your father.
[Man] There's Countess Puck of Austria as the glamorous continue to arrive
at the Genovian Independence Ball.
Despite threats of rain, the turn out includes the mayor of San Francisco
and the Genovian pear juggler.
The future of Genovia is in the hands of young Mia Thermopolis.
Her decision tonight will affect the queen, the court,
and all the people of this small, but proud, country.
- Do you think it's going to rain on us? - It never comes down on Willie Brown.
- Thank you. - Umbrellas up.
And that's enough pear juggling.
[Mia] The trip is off, Louie.
[Thunder crashes]
Oh! Perfect.
Oh, come on.
Genovians are famous for their impeccable taste in art.
Also for their cheese.
Maybe it's string cheese.
- [Engine sputters] - Don't do this, baby.
[Groans]
- [Engine starts] - Gotcha!
Sorry, Mr. Robutusen.
Here you go. It's already paid for.
- I didn't order pizza. - You must've.
Unless there's another Michael Moscovitz here.
We get a call, we deliver, that's our motto.
- You don't make the pizza? - No, no.
I just deliver them.
Press passes, thank you.
- Hi, where are you from? - Teen Scene Magazine.
Good.
- The Queen has entered. - [Women repeat in foreign languages]
Do we have any news on the von Troken matter?
- It will be decided tonight, ma'am. - I'm afraid so.
- Where is she? - She went somewhere. I know nothing.
- Nothing?! Come here. - [Groaning] What?
Talk to me.
She went that way, then that way, two minutes ago.
Thank you very much.
- Do we have any problems? - No. Everything's perfect.
It's wonderful.
You're not very good at lying.
No, I'm not, Your Majesty.
- The garden looks beautiful. - Thank you.
Come on, baby, you can make it.
Yes, come on, yes. No.
Baby, please. Come on.
There's no answer at Princess Mia's house.
I couldn't get Joseph on the cell phone, too much static from the storm.
The press are starting to complain about making their deadlines.
If she's not here in ten minutes, I'll make the announcement.
- Yes, ma'am. - It's OK. She'll be fine.
She's gonna get here.
Is this punishment for driving
without a licensed driver in the front seat?
I am invisible and I am wet.
The press is wondering if it would be possible while we're waiting...
No interviews until later in the evening.
We're meeting Baroness and Baron von Troken.
Is it true if the teenager refuses the princesship,
- your family will take over Genovia? - Yes.
They must have a legitimate Renaldi blood relative or we rule.
No, ma'am.
Then it's time.
[Mia sings sadly]
[Sobs]
[Horn honks]
You wouldn't happen to be running away, would you?
What? Dressed like this? No, I'm going to a ball.
Good. Get in.
[Man] Her Majesty, the Queen.
[Clarisse] My fellow Genovians and honored guests.
Good evening. I apologize for the delay...
Oh, hello. May I say...
Welcome to our grand Genovian Independence Day Ball.
- There's no time to change. - You look fine.
- Pretty and fine. No running. - Oh!
Here you go. It's nice.
Thank you so much for your patience.
I have an announcement to make.
- My granddaughter... - [clears throat]
- She's here. - I see.
I would like to announce that my granddaughter has arrived.
With a fascinating explanation as to her wardrobe, I'm sure.
She's styling a wet, sort of grunge-look hairdo,
and is wearing a sweatshirt, jeans and Docs.
Would you care to say a few words?
Um, yes.
Why didn't we dress like her? We look like idiots.
Thank you, Your Majesty.
Think they're trying to save money on the gown?
[Stammering]
Hello, I'm Mia.
It stopped raining.
Get your tiara ready.
I'm really no good at speech making.
Normally, I get so nervous that I faint
or run away or, um, sometimes even get sick.
[All murmuring]
But you really didn't need to know that.
I'm not so afraid anymore.
My father helped me.
Earlier this evening,
I had every intention of giving up my claim to the throne.
And my mother helped me
by telling me it was OK and by supporting me,
like she has for my entire life.
But then I wondered how I'd feel
after abdicating my role as Princess of Genovia.
Would I feel relieved, would I feel sad?
Then I realized
how many stupid times a day I use the word "I."
In fact, probably all I ever do is think about myself.
How lame is that when there are seven billion other people on the planet.
- [Clears throat] - [Stammers] Sorry, I'm going too fast.
But then I thought...
If I cared about the other seven billion out there, instead of just me,
that's probably a much better use of my time.
See, if I were Princess of Genovia,
then my thoughts and those of people smarter than me
would be much better heard and just maybe,
those thoughts could be turned into actions.
So, this morning when I woke up,
I was Mia Thermopolis.
But now...
...I choose to be, forevermore...
...Amelia Mignonette Thermopolis Renaldi,
Princess of Genovia.
I hope you didn't order your stationary yet.
This was my very first tiara.
I was rather fond of it. I'm hoping you will be, too.
Grandma, but you had it all ready. How'd you know I'd be here?
I recognize the same spirit in you as someone else I know.
Really? Who?
Me.
Ah-ha! You made it.
You bet your life, you big, tall stringbean.
Here. Paolo here to save the day.
♪ Genovia
♪ The land I call my home
♪ Genovia
♪ Forever
♪ Will your banner wave ♪
Her Majesty, Queen Clarisse, and her Royal Highness,
Amelia, Princess of Genovia.
I think perhaps we'd better get you dried off now.
Thank you.
No longer does Mia stand for missing in action,
Genovia has a new princess.
[Low-tempo music plays]
They had the same idea I had, but now the garden is ocupado.
Why me?
Because you saw me when I was invisible.
And just because I'm royal doesn't mean I'm different.
I'm really the same person. Yes, I'll have to live in Genovia a bit,
but I'm still gonna go to school, and...
[♪ Myra: "Miracles Happen"]
[Mia] Dear Diary,
today is my first official day as Princess of Genovia.
We'll land in a few hours and I'll meet the Parliament and people
before beginning my royal duties.
Mom is, of course, moving to Genovia with me
and will continue painting without the balloons.
Lilly and Michael are planning to spend their summer vacation
at our, can you believe it, palace.
They're even having my Mustang brought over,
which I can legally drive in two weeks.
Grandma's so glad to be going home.
And Joseph is watching nearby, as usual.
Everybody's got pre-coronation jitters, including me.
Everybody, that is, except Fat Louie, he's totally adapted to being a royal.
I guess he was one all along.
[Joe] Princess, look out the window...
...and welcome to Genovia.
[♪ Mpulz: "The Journey"]
♪ I know that you're searching for answers
♪ Afraid that you'll be left behind
♪ But you can't rush time
♪ Gotta wait in line
♪ In time the answers you'll find
♪ You'll get your wings at the right time
♪ Even birds must learn how to fly
♪ You gotta move on from what's breaking your heart
♪ Don't let your life pass you by ♪